My concerns were confirmed ... xpost

Yesterday, I went to the pre-op appointments my DH Ben had at Duke. Of course, there were several others there who were also getting ready for their respective surgeries and one was a woman who about the same size and shape that I was pre-op. After talking awhile she asked if I had any pre-op photos and I did. I went out to the car and brought them in during a break. She and several others were looking at my photos and then another one one of ladies looked at my photos and then at me and said "Oh! So you didn't have those wrinkles and bags under your eyes or that turkey neck before surgery. Wow! Look at what has happened when you lost all that fat."

I nearly died. I didn't say a word, but I felt like someone sucker punched me. I know that I'm sensitive about the changes that have occurred. Sometimes I even think I'm making a mountain out of mole hill until I get a comment like that and then I realize that my concerns are founded.

I know that this journey isn't all about what we look like ... it's not for me either. I'm so very grateful to have put my diabetes, high cholesterol, hemochromatosis, sleep apnea, etc... into remission and to be feeling so much better. But I have to admit, the I wish that I didn't look older now than I did before. 

Sorry for whining... 

glad to hear you are positive atleast i think you look great in your picture and health is more important. we all whine at times smile and be what you can sincerly Laurie

I looked like total **** before I lost weight . My face was gigantic, no wrinkles, but then a ballon doesn't have any. I feel great, I get hit on by men all the time, and I look my age (53) or older. Who the hell cares?
I have a nice shape, bought me some breastuses that look fabulous, and i would do the whole thing again.
Women who have no class will make idiotic comments. Consider the source, and recognize that they will have issues with skin after weight loss themselves. Take the high road, and get on with your wonderful life!

If it is a bag of fat, i would chose an empty sagging bag over a FULL bag. I have the same problem... i have greatly aged in physical appearence, but not in ability and energy! Great trade off, i will take it.

Hey Barbara,  Next time tell the lady that she sure did get her money's worth for those lessons in rudness that she took!  How horrible some idiots can be!  Sounds like some of my 12 year-old middle school students' comments.  On a serious note for you.  It took 18-20 months of worrying about the wrinkles in my face, and then, overnight, my face caught up.  It looks a lot better now.  One thing I have done is to use a product called Prevage by Elizabeth Arden.  It is kind of pricey at $150.00 per bottle, but I cannot begin to tell you how much better my face looks now!  The stuff is like a miracle product for facial wrinkles.  A face lift in an expensive jar!  They are having Christmas specials on this at Dillard's and Macy's at the Elizabeth Arden counter.  Try it out if you can afford it.  The stuff really works.  the first few times you use it your face will tingle and ping, but that stops after the 4th or 5th time.  After 2-3 weeks you can see a big difference as far as the wrinkles in neck and face go.  Good luck and by the way, you are a very beautiful woman who must have a good heart if you were willing to share pictures with others like that!  D

Aww...I think some people just have no tact what-so-ever (this coming from someone who started a post on poop!)  LOL  You know, after I lost my weight which took me over a year and closer to 15 months...My face and skin just hung all over my body....It really freaked me out. I looked so tired and drained...I was..very literally....It wasn't until my second year that much of my skin slowly firmed up a little...I still have a turkey neck that drives me insane!!!!  I might save up and have it re-draped ! LOL  Nothing hides it.  I'm not into plastic surgery...but I never say never...If it gets too depressing...I might! 

My face is aging faster and faster these days....and I sometimes look in the mirror and see an old lady....And that's where I am heading anyway...so I might as well just embrace it and just take the best of care I can of myself....I try anything natural to keep my skin healthy and happy...Vitamins, exercise plenty of variety of fruits and veggies and good oils...And whatever happens...well it's just going to happen....Like that commercial "when I grow up I want to be an old woman"  That's what I want to be!  A gorgeous, thin, healthy one...with laugh lines and gray hair.

I think that maybe if I had the surgery earlier, I would have had some youth left to enjoy being thin and young...But now I am 44 and have my health....Can't go back now...so I move forward...
YOU look gorgeous!  I think you are harder on yourself than even those stupid comments from toxic people like those two ladies. 

Hugs!

(((Anita))),

You know just what to say... Thanks! I think you got it. I wasn't so enraged by her rudness... I know she was rude, so do the rest of us. The thing that got me was that she was confirming my own insecurities and that's something that I have to get a grip on. 

Thanks again,

I would much rather have physical short falls than to be someone that is rude and hurtful to others.  Sounds like you know deep down inside that the trade off is sooo much better, but I know it still hurts. It would upset me too. I think you look awesome!!!

Right, right. She just confirmed what you thought already. I have the exact same problem. I see this turkey neck on me and i am in my 30's. I know other people see it on me, but no one has said anything yet. I am just waiting for that one person to be honest with me and validate my own suspicions. I can't be the only one who sees it, can I?

Anyway. Your "arg" moment is shared.

I think I would have said just that.  "Oh well I traded in diabetes, high cholesterol, hemochromatosis, sleep apnea & a few more health problems for health and a  few wrinkles & bags so I don't think I made a bad deal :)  "