Body Image

So you spend your life as a big girl looking at all the little girls and calling them skinny *****es in your head.     
 
 Now you look in the mirror.......   What do you see ??

I still don't see a skinny ***** I went home for the holidays and my mother saw me and called me skinny. It felt good, but I still see myself as being fat. I'm tall and have a large frame yet still have small bones. I will always have hips and a large waist, even with just bone under my skin... but I still feel fat.

I think I'll always feel like the fat girl in the crowd. I don't feel as fat as when I started this journey, but yet ....... I only have less than 20 lbs to reach goal. I wonder if I will feel skinny then?

hot ***** ... lol. I always tell my BF he is lucky his GF is so hot. :-)

Honestly thou I feel I finally see on the outside how Ive felt on the inside... I am critical sometimes of the excess but know that only surgery can fix what I have left and feel that PS would complete my journey. For me I see 'normal'... I look at other girls and myself and see I am the same size, sometimes even smaller... I see my flaws but see everybody else has their own too.

everyone calls me small now but I dnt see it our minds are crazy things I know I still look for big chairs with no arms & then I think I dnt need a bigger chair

Ahhh - The head trip, it is so hard to overcome...5 lbs below ultimate goal, looking in the mirror, honestly after holding this weight for 2+ years, I see a "thinner" person...Of course the head trip comes in when I compare what I see in a size 4 to what I see on someone else in a size 4...To me, they still look skinny ( I guess like a size 4) and I look like a regular person, size 10/12...Is this screwed up or what?!?

Still the best part of it all is I like what I see, even if it is distorted,...Liking myself is a huge step, didn't like looking at me when I was a fat girl and avoided mirrors from the shoulders down...

Alesia

When I look in the mirror, I see the belly fat sticking out just a bit (this is from baby weight years ago..it doesn't go away!) and saggy boobs..hanging skin. I don't look skinny to me but I know I am.

Almost 4 years later I still see the fat girl many days.  Then other days I like what I see in the mirror.  The head games are way harder IMO then the actual weight loss.

Wow, great question! Some days I think I look really good and other days I think I look terrible~the good days are the days I feel "thin" and the bad days are the days I feel "fat". I hate it b/c it totally effects everything about my day. When I feel good about myself I think it exudes in everything that I do. I find people are more drawn to me, more responsive to me on those days. On the bad days I do see a difference in people's reactions to me~its not as positive and upbeat. I know that's b/c of what I'm putting out there and how I'm acting and reacting to things. I hate the fact that I have no control over how I feel~it just is what it is for the day. It could be the ### I see on the scale, it could be the reflection I see in the mirror, it could be the clothes I pick out and how they fit, it could be anything! I like it when I can look in the mirror, see my reflection and feel happy and confident~I wish that could happen every day, but I'm not sure how to make that happen?!?!?!?!

I still see a fat woman in the mirror...but when I see photos of myself, I have to look twice because I cannot believe how thin I am!  It really shocks me even after almost 5 years!  I still occassionally ask my husband "Am I as big as that woman or that girl?"  He looks at me like I've lost my damn mind....I think I look so much bigger than I am... Then again I know I weigh 165 lbs and back in my youth, that was FAT!  So I am confused too with the numbers...even though I totally rebel against numbers and refuse to let that be my guiding force to happiness or hell!

I think I will always see the carnival fun mirror warped image of myself....I honestly do not know which images are real or warped in my head....Because occassionally I will catch a full body peek at myself in a store and not realise it's me at first and I see a nice size woman...as soon as I realize it's me...the image morphs into a fat woman!  LOL I am so serious!

:::Shrugs::: 

Once I was grocery shopping and this really big woman was following me around watching what I put in my cart and even snarled at me a few times...and I wanted to tell her sooooooo much that I was once BIGGER than her...but I just couldn't bring myself to talk to her, she intimidated me and left me feeling so sad for her....It's times like that, I feel like a skinny ***** LOL...but I don't know how to react to that or what to say...because I feel so deeply for obese people that I wouldn't want to hurt her in anyway, even though she was kinda rude to me.  Oh well...I can handle skinny *****es!  LOL But I know where I came from and I know I can easily go back if I forget!