Struggling today (mental wars)

Warning- Whining might be present in this post-please don't flame me.

I've been struggling a little. Here is the deal. I've been weighing about the same for weeks (I'm at goal) and was maintaining well. I got a stomach bug and could not eat for over 24 hours and then it was light eating the day after. I managed to drop over 3 lbs. during that time. Shortly after I made my one year appt. and the nursed asked me how much I weighed I gave her my "usual weight" (before being sick). Well for the last week and this week the scale keeps moving up....past my "normal weight". I focus on getting it down all week and manage to get it close, but it always seems to come back. Okay, I know some of you are saying SO WHAT. Accept the extra pounds your body might be more comfortable at that weight or stop whining about a couple of pounds past your "comfortable weight". However, I cannot mentally. I'm scared out of my mind!!! I've always been great at losing weight, but have ALWAYS failed at keeping it off. I don't want to go to my doctor's appt. with depressing news and news that I'm struggling. My doctor does not want me to have anymore fills. He believes if your at goal or close you should not risk doing another fill. He likes for you to stay somewhat loose.

My husband bought 2% milk last night and I was so upset ( I use skim). He got really mad at me and said you are getting obsessed. He also thinks because I had this surgery and I"m no longer overweight that I should never ever say one bad thing about myself.  I am doing much better, but I still have a bad day every once in awhile.  I'm just fighting to stay healthy and I know if I give in a tiny bit, my body (weight) goes nuts. I will admit...in the past I used to get a little obsessive. I've made this time different in a lot of ways. I still eat the things I like, but I buy the healthy version and I set limits. I don't counts calories or keep a record of it....I believe this is where I went wrong in the past. Counting the calories and contents caused me to be super obsessive. I'm trying so hard to keep a good balance. Is this my whole life? Struggling every week and fighting the scale? I just need to get back to thinking positive and keep working hard. I just can't let myself stay down too long. I just pray that I will feel better before my doctor's appt. Dec. 1st. I so badly want to report good news.

Sorry for the whining. I just need to vent.

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. I hope you find your happy balance soon!

We're all here to listen - vent anytime!

Absolutely no flaming.  We're all here to support each other, to share our journeys, and perhaps to share some insight about things that have worked for us. 

We've all struggled with our weight for a long time.  Many of us have lost and regained the same pounds over and over and over again.  So our brains and our bodies are accustomed to the idea of lose it, regain it, lose it, regain it as part of an ongoing cycle.  Many of us have never had to figure out how to maintain, both in terms of calories and in terms of our relationship with and thoughts about food.  So this is something new for you, and you're trying to figure out what to do.

I would encourage you to talk to your doctor about what you are thinking and feeling.  You will not be the first person who is experiencing these types of problems.  Your doctor may be able to offer some helpful coping techniques, or may suggest that you talk to a counselor to help you developing some new coping mechanisms. 

Keep in mind that you know how you need to eat now to maintain your weight; what you're working on now is retraining your thought patterns the govern your relationship with food.  You are right that it's hard to find a good balance, but it's absolutely doable.  And while it requires diligence in terms of what/how you eat, it also requires you to be more gentle and forgiving with yourself.... 

Good luck on your continuing journey -

Kellie

No flames here. I can completely understand what you're saying. Its scary to gain even a pound for people like us! I would bet that your body is just readjusting due to being sick and by your Dec. 1st appt, things will be back to normal for you. Please don't skip your appt b/c of a few pounds! Also, talk to your dr about your fears and concerns for the future~I'm sure you will gain some great insight into how to make this work for the long run!

At almost 4yrs out I do sometimes feel like this will be my struggle for life. Many people here have given me encouragement that things get easier and easier the farther out that you get~mentally that is. The physical struggle to maintain might always be there. I too can be very obsessive and battle OCD daily and it can be difficult to maintain balance. I just wake up each day and try to do the best that I can~sometimes I'm successful and sometimes I fail, but I still strive to do my best. Hang in there and don't be too hard on yourself!!!!

Its natural for bodies to go up and down.. nobody will weigh the same each day. Typically the average is 3-5lbs... I am wondering if since you were sick you have been eating a lot of soup? Sodium can very quickly cause the scale to go up and stay up for a few days - for me it takes 3-5 days for water retention to go away (sometimes longer). Dont forget to take TOM into account.
Maintaining is always a struggle... I read the Beck Diet Solution and she suggsted setting a 'panic point' weight.. mine is 5lbs over my normal - if you go up then its time to make some changes and be dilligent... if you are under that then dont worry. I am 2.5 years out and weigh daily, I know my body pretty well now and how it likes to go up and down.. I know where I hit most and when to start to worry - I also know what I am eating and know if I am to blame or not :-)
My suggestion to you is that if the weight doesnt go down in another week or two to maybe look at what you are eating and your exercise. If logging makes you go nutty than dont do it,,, just write down what you are eating and maybe have the hubby get your final totals - have him not show it to you but just tell you what to change? like more/less protein.. more calories?

 

No flames here either...Just an invite to join the freak out club...I also freak out when I see an extra fraction of a pound on the scale. I know your self talk is like mine is when this happens...

What if this is it? What if this is when I turn the corner and start back UP to MO? What did I eat that might be the demon food? Am I looking fat? Are these pants suddenly TIGHT? OMG...

I'm totally obsessive. All it takes is 2 tenths of a pound and someone asking me if I've gained alittle...That's it...I'm drinking only water all day long and just can't bring myself to eat much at all. It's a constant struggle within myself to allow myself to put on some muscle weight.

I've resigned myself to the fact that I WILL put on weight. I'm exercising so I will gain a pound over a certain amount of time...But if I gain two pounds in a month...I'm checking labels and drinking more water. sigh...

Vent away..I'm right there with you.

Thank you so much for all your encouraging and kind words. I truly appreciate it!! I feel much better. Thanks again!!! You guys are the best!!!

My husband bought 2% milk last night and I was so upset ( I use skim).

I will admit, this seems like a very odd thing to get upset over.  Assuming you alone drank the entire gallon the difference is only 864 calories (1/4 pound of weight "gain" all things being equal).

So have 2/3 cup cereal in the morning instead of the full cup or something.  I personally get 1% or 2% (Skim just tastes nasty) depending on which has the better expiration date.

First of all you are NOT whining!  You are scared.  There's a huge difference.  The key is to figure out WHY you are scared.  Do you keep a journal?  If you do then I would start writing until you walk yourself thru problem/reason/solution.  I do this often and it's amazing how smart we are once we calm down and actually LISTEN to ourselves:-)  lol  Secondly, it's not for your husband to decide WHEN it's okay for you to be concerned.  YOU are in charge of your body not him, not the doctor not the man in the moon, YOU!  So take charge and figure out what the real deal is here, it may not be your weight at all but an underlying reason for your mental stress.  But if you are eating appropriately, taking your vitamins/minerals and exercising as you know you should be, some things are just not in our control and that, my friend, is the really hard part of this journey to accept if you ask me:-)  I'm a fixer of problems, extremely task oriented.  So when I come up against something that I just have to learn to accept then I struggle.  And I pray.  Alot:-)  It's all about getting to our goal and then figuring out how to maintain it yes.  But sometimes **** happens and when that is the case......we just gotta pull it back together and move forward.  This is what we're going to be up against for the rest of our lives you  know?  So putting good responses into place to handle them will be to our benefit in the long run I think.

Good luck and will keep you in my prayers:-)

I totally understand and I think too many of us really do relate to the same struggle you have!
It's so scary to gain a little...and especially when you can make heads or tails as to WHY you put on a few pounds or can't seem to keep the scale form bouncing around between a few pounds...It's disheartening and you being doubting yourself! I know I do!  I did have a significant weight gain last year and had to lose 10 lbs...I did it, but it was NOT easy. 

It's been almost a year now since I lost the majority of that weight gain.  The last 4 lbs were impossible to lose!  What a struggle!  LOL  I know 4 lousy pounds right?  Well add them to the 10 total and it was important for me to lose it ALL!  I was not happy until I did it!  And I did too! But it took getting obsessive and logging my food, counting calories and carbs and thinking of food every second of the day!  It was DRAINING...and I moaned and complained and fretted and got frustrated beyond words...

Well fast forward several months...I finally gave myself a break...I have to learn to TRUST myself...This is my life and I have to live it every day! I can't keep balled up in knots over what I eat. I can't function that way...I slowly and reluctantly stopped logging my food...although I still think it to be the BEST way to get back on track or when you need a little encouragement to make better choices.  Or just to keep in check once in a while.... But to do it forever everyday is too much for me.  I needed to NOT focus on food but on other things like exercise, a hobby...a job..LIFE!!!  ...I lose my best when I am moving my body...I went out and bought a little 10 dollar pedometer and that became my new obsession! It was great and totally makes me aware of how inactive I can be some days...I began trying to up my steps per day and before you knew it I was adding more and more exercise in my day and feeling sooooo good!  I was even eating more (good choices though)  and not gaining...I felt so much less stress and I began to trust myself again...I am doing great!  I got a job to keep me busy....I learned that I was only getting maybe 1000 steps a day...and now I get 5000-10000 a day with my job! I eat 1500-1800 calories rather than diet on 1200-1400 a day!  I feel great!  Look great and no food stress.  I do still plan my meals a day or two ahead so I am not left with a fast food choices....When I forget to plan a meal the first thing outta my husbands mouth is "PIZZA"...or "FRIED CHICKEN"!  Uh...NO!  Sorry honey!  And if I am really tired, I just give in to it....So I do need a meal plan...and do stay alert and aware that I have a lifestyle to maintain...but being obsessed with it is good until it becomes stressful like it did for me...

I dunno if that helps at all...but I think being a little obsessiveness  is a good way to get and learn to stay focused and in control but...letting it dominate your every thought/every moment can be debilitating and unhealthy too...Just my opinion...