More to life than this

Thanks for the reply.  My surgeon has done an upper endosophy (sp) and I have a stretched stoma.  My surgeon thinks I have done okay with my weight loss and is not concerned about my weight gain.  In fact my weight gain is not documented on his records.  I got to my lowest and regained in a time frame between visits to his office.  He would probably not be willing to do a stomaphyx and my insurance would not pay for it.  Also I have not heard of many people who have had much luck with it. 

I do not know, but I suspect that I do not have as small a pouch or bypass as some.  I think my doctor takes all things into consideration before he does the surgery.  I weighted 262 at surgery which is considered a light weight in some circles.  LOL  Also I was 60 years old at time of surgery.  I will see my Dr in March for my 4 year and will discuss with him, but I know it is hard for him to be real concerned about a 63 year old woman who weighs 139 lbs when he has patients who weigh MUCH more. 

I am so glad you have had a revision and you should have good luck with it.  You should do GREAT this time.   Again thanks for the reply.
  
Ruby Rosebud
rny  3/11/2005
262/125/139
hi/lo/today
5'1"
63 years old     

Hi Ruby,
If you are only 139 lbs, I can see why your surgeon isn't concerned about weight regain.  I had gainned about 25 lbs and never lost more than 100 lbs.  I was back at 212 when I started my revision journey.  My BMI had to be back at 40 for my insurance to pay for it.

The results of Stomaphyx have not been what they expected it to be.  If you have 20-30 lbs to lose then it probably will work for some people.  Good luck to you too.
Deanne

Thanks for the reply.  BTW I just got back from my primary's office.  He weighed me in at 142.  See why I am so scared.  It is a shame we have to gain so much before our doctors or insurance take us seriously.   

Ruby 

Visuallize fretting at still 265 lbs at almost 7 years post op      Yep that's me.    Actually I am probably now over 270, too scared to step on the scale.  I am so very tired of obcessing over this, yet every day it is what I think about 24/7.  The jeans that are too tight.    The lowest I ever got was 247 at 8 months post op.    I've made a couple of short lived attempts to lose, where I eat better and exercise every day and the longest lived attempt was 3 months and I did lose about 18 lbs.  Then life stresses got in the way and I settled back into fretting and old habits.  Yes I know what needs to be done...and only I can make myself do it.  I have no one to blame but myself for where I am at.   But I just wish some days, I could wake up with WLS related amnesia...lol. 

I try to hold on to the fact that 265 is better than 365 which is where I was on my surgery date.

My heart goes out to you.  As someone in this thread told me, you may have a surgical failure.  You might considering having that checked.  It is probably not all your fault.  You are right 100 pound lose is good, but I know you expected to lose much more.  I knew maintain my weight lose was not going to be easy, but really it is almost impossible.  I just got back from my primary--I went for a flu shot.  i weighted 142 today.  That is 3 more pounds.  When will it stop?

Please consider seeing a surgeon and talking to him about your situation.  Thanks again for your reply and good luck.

Ruby    

Patricia, I "get" what you are saying, I to wonder somedays if life will be more than what it is.  Don't get me wrong, health wise I'm much better........mentally I sometimes wonder, lol.  I wrote something about all of this in my blog several months ago.

Just want you to know, you aren't alone. 

i read your blog.  i think you and I both need another 'star' to hang on to.  In my case I need one that works.  Thanks for the reply.  I "get" what you are saying, too.

Ruby 

I was in a gym class today looking at all the normal sized women, and the instructor going "you want to burn calories this is how you do it, push push" etc etc etc. Then it dawned on me (almost like a revelation from God.....the heavens opened and the light showed down...lol). That NORMAL people are concerned about their weight and watch what they eat, that's why they aren't 100 lbs overweight. Very few freaks of nature can eat what they want, not exercise and not gain weight.....and even then if you examine what they are eating and how they "aren't exercising" you normally find they are active in some way and eat very few calories or "just enough" for what they use.

I don't know if that is comforting, or just a reality check. I mean you could have your surgery revised so you have a distal RNY, but why would you want to do that? You've been maintaining and you are doing fantastic. Maybe you should seek counciling about it? It might help just to vent to someone and tell them why this is so freaken annoying to. At the least you can get pictures of those skinny Hollywood actresses (take your pick) put their pictures on a punching bag, and beat the crap out of it...lol...maybe that will make you feel better!!!!

NOW for the PREOPS *****ad this board (this is not intended for the OP).....Please consider a distal surgery like the ERNY or the DS...because in 2 or 3 years struggling to keep the weight off can SUCK!!!!!!!


Scott

Thanks for the reply and thoughts.  When I had surgery there was no choice--at least, I did not know there was, so here I am struggling.  I eat very little and exercise a lot and I still have to struggle, but I guess this is my lot in life.  I am thankful that I have no worse health problems to worry about. 

Thanks again for your reply.  You have brought several thoughts to light that I had been refusing to think about.

Ruby. 

I think about this all the time...and I wonder when I will get tired of eating healthy....I don't get tired of it though.  I had my lesson in what going back is like...and I gained 10 pounds that took me 4 months to lose!  I fretted and journaled and weighed my food...I changed my diet completely and stopped eating sugar and simple carbs...I learned so much more about nutrition, vits, protein, carbs, fiber, amino acids, fats and oils etc!

It's been a year since this started with me...I also had malnutrition and anemia which looking back now, I realise was the reason for why it took so long to lose my weight.  (when your body is not healthy, it does not function accurately) I could not exercise at all, as per docs orders.  So I had no choice but to drastically cut my calories from about 1500-1800 down to 1200-1400 just to lose those few pounds.  During those 4 months it was hard and I was totally frustrated...It became such a chore...I was pretty vocal about it!  LOL I had some pretty bad days...especially when I discovered protein bars!  OY!

So...Now I have my nutrition in check and I am able to exercise...(although I do not do workout type exercise) I am very active in my job, which is an all day workout as a carpenter...up and down stairs and ladders and bending, squatting, lifting, carrying heavy tools, stretching reaching...etc...So I am nice and fit and lean right now...and once again my body can handle quite a few calories...without any deep thought or struggle

I do not journal my food anymore (but I do kept a mental rough tally in my head)....I do not focus all day on food (but I do watch/choose my portion and carbs and fats wisely, mostly)...I need to better remember my vits and supps though...The exercise IS the way to stay fit and lean without sacrificing food with diet.  I see that very clearly now.  I can eat anything when I am active...and I don't want to snack all day when I am busy....My aches and pains are gone now that I get exercise! My degenerative disc disease pain in my neck is non-existant...My hands are a little tight in the mornings because I use them all day...But I feel awesome and hardly 44 years old!

So...My suggestion is this...Find a hobby that is on the active side...Maybe you have some friends that want to join a pool for the winter or a jazzercise class or dance class...Yoga or Tai chi!  Maybe you can volunteer at the library putting books back in place (good work out!) ...(I made my teenage son go do that once when I didn't want him home alone ...to keep his naughty butt outta trouble...The library was my babysitter and he loved working there...until he decided he deserved some money for it!)  He then got a job at Borders books which he LOVED! But back on subject....Doing something to keep your mind off food helped me soooooooo much.  I actually trust myself now too...where before when I fretted and measured and focused....I was on the edge of slipping way off track from frustration and feeling like you did the day you posted this!  I do soooo much better when I don't constantly obesess over every single bite I take!  I did so I know exactly what you are going through!

Make friends....take on a active hobby or job...get in some really fun exercise and you will feel better, you will look toned and great...and you'll take you mind off food. You can actually do this on cruise control unless you find yourself getting offtrack...Then you just have to regroup and buy some healthy foods and make a weekly food plan of what you are going to eat when you are hungry....No running out on a whim to just grab a bite...When you make lunch the day before, you have no excuse to eat something other than what you planned...And plan what's for dinner too....because if it's something that you know you shouldn't eat, you have all day to feel guilty enough to make a better choice before dinner!  LOL  I do that! 

These are only suggestions...because they worked for me and I feel free right now except for the vitamin popping daily schedule which makes me feel totally aggravated and is a constant remindeder of being MO and having surgery....Well...good luck and sorry for the long post...