Newbie to this board

Ok so here I am.. My name is Tammy and I had wls 5 year ago. At my 3rd year mark I had hit 138lbs ( I am 5'8") which made me completely overjoyed. I have wanted to weigh that for most of my life. Well my family, friends and co-workers were keeping at me to regain some weight because I was too thin. Well after listening to it for 6 months I gave up and started to eat more bad sutff in order to regain some of the weight. Slowly over the last 2 years I have gone right back where I was before WLS!!. I am back up to 210 and feel absoutly  HORRIBLE, both about myself mentally and also beginning to pick up some of the previous physical limitation I did pre op. But I am stuck in this place. I am an emotional eater.. and believe me over the past 2 years my life has definately had more than the normal or even overload of stess. Food has been where I have turned. In January I had a mental breakdown and now take 4 different medications... I really want to get off of them- or at least some of them-but currently I am sure that if I even begin to try while I am so depressed about myself and my apperance that it will just make matters worse. Now I truly am looking for excuses when I say I have been too stressed and have slipped back into old habits, but there is a lot of truth to it. I also acknowledge that I am responsible for my  own choices. But here I am again. Gaining and each day, waking up with the promise that I will start fresh today and things will be better.. then boom by 11am - 12pm I am back to my old ways.
HELP!! I need someone or all of you..to make me accountable, encourage me to get back on track and LOSE! They said that you could beat the WLS and belive me  they are right. Now to get back to making it work for me. I just don't know how. I can eat pretty much anything. I will dump with a very  low blood sugar if I eat too much sugar but can do up to 20 grams before that happens. I am totally addicted to carbs. My husband doesn't help that any becuase he loves to have fresh baked bread in the house.
Ok so this is my very sad story. I started out at 317 got down to 138 and now am back to 210. How sad is that. I truly feel I will now never get back to how happy I was to start with.. I am chasing a wagon I can't even see much less get back on. Any feedback and some support would really help..
Tam

Hi Tammy. I can tell how upet and sad you are about all of this. Lets look at the positive side of things~you started at 317 and are now 210~that's still a maintained weightloss of 107lbs. I realize its not the 138lbs that you  made it too, but you are FAR from where you started out originally!!! Also, you've had alot of stuff going on in your life and with being on 4 meds its possible that the meds have lead to some of the weight gain. I know you were honest about not eating correctly~what about the other wls rules? Do you take your vits daily? Do you drink with meals and 30/30 before and after eating? Do you exercise? Do you attend a support group? I think you need to start small and take baby steps~change things a little bit at a time so its not too overwhelming. Detoxing from bad carbs is tough, but you can do it! Push dense protein first at every meal and then you won't be as hungry. If grazing is a problem try to break the habit by mindfully eating. You can log your food and exercise at thedailyplate.com every day~that helps me alot! These are all just ideas I'm throwing out at you~you need to pick and chose what will work best for you. I know you CAN do this!!!! You did it before and you CAN do it again!!!!!

(((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

Tracy, I included responses to your comments in my response to Michelle. I am still trying to figure out the board here!
Thanks again for all the support.. I am in need of it.. I am so depressed about all of this, I really need something positive to hold on to...
Tam

Tammy,

Tracy gave you excellent advice!  I just want to add one thing.

Obviously you're seeing a doctor due to your medications, but when was the last time you had a complete set of labs done?  You should make sure that you have no deficiencies and you're physically OK.

And tell your husband to forget the bread!   

Good luck!

Michele

Thanks!!! I did forget the 30/30 rule.. I must say a lot of the rules have gone to the back of my mind..sad isn't it. I tried to find all my post op paperwork to slap me some but I cannot find it :''( . I don't attend a local support group due to the cost of attending meetings. We declared bankruptcy and lost our home this year, and then our daughter was hospitilized and has run up all our medical bills AGAIN !!! That was the primary reason for the orginial bankruptcy... Anyway, that is another long sad story... the end result being every penny I currently have supports my 19 year olds 4 month baby girl my husband and I are raising and I just don't have any spare..that is one of the reasons I looked up and turned to you all. . Free, supportive and helpful all at one time! In answer to Michelles question, y es I have had a complete blood workup, and for that matter physical one too. Even am endoscopy a few months back. I am healthy.. at least physically (except for that whole weight gain putting me back the MO catagory). I try to incorporate excersize in my whole day but do not go to the gym or anything like that due to the onery little 4 month baby I have... thought I do do crunches and arm lifts as well as deep knee bends all day. Oh and climb the stairs to her nursery about a hundred times a day.. but as far as real 30 min plus excercise no I don't. I was trying to take her for a walk for at least 30 minutes but a) she lost patients for it and b) it got cold here. Ok so lots of excuses again but some really do count...I keep asking myself... why am I punishing myself? Why am I deliberatly sabbotaging my self?
Well tomorrow is a new day! Maybe with you all helping me hold myself up to reality will help. One thing that would really help is a set of the rules of the surgery post op..does anyone have them? Are they someplace on OH? I know every doc / nutritionist is a bit different but the rules are generally the same everywhere..
Thanks guys for caring enought to write back.. I am in desperate need of some friendship and help here....
Tam

Tammy, here's a few resources for you to check out about the pouch rules~

http://www.meltingmama.net/wls/pouch-rules-for-dummies.html

http://www.5daypouchtest.com/

http://www.mylapsurgeon.com/faqHamot.htm#General  (this is a link to my surgeon's website and includes many rules to follow after surgery)

Hope this helps!