OT - Need advice about how to deal with hateful woman

I have a co-worker who is mercifully leaving for another job. Yippee. We have worked together for 26 years, and in April 1987 (over 21 years ago), she got mad at me because her boss kept giving me work and she thought I was getting "brownie points." I didn't get sh** in the way of money or anything else, just got her work dumped on me. She is still fuming all these years later. When she walks into a room, it gets cold. When she walks, nothing moves. It's like she glides and all her muscles are tensed up. It's real spooky. I picture her with voodoo dolls under her bed and she sticks needles in them all the time, and I'm sure one has my likeness on it. I have tried a few times to smooth things out with her, but it can't be done. I've seen her do this to other people too, but I'm the only one that's been here long enough to know her true wrath. We're having a going-away lunch for her the last week of October. (Again, yippee.) Should I sign her card and go to the lunch? It's not like I'd have to talk to her or anything, but it is being held in her honor and I know she wouldn't want me there. On the other hand, all the more reason to go. She didn't even sign my sympathy cards when my parents died. There is no other word to describe her other than the "B" word, there's just not. What would you do? BTW, her last day is Halloween, sort of fits.

Hi Wanda,

I know how you feel, but remember she is the B not you!  So be the better person!!!  Make her feel real small by being nice to her the day she is leaving, while your feeling good inside that she is leaving, lol.  Good-Luck have a blessed day.

I would sign the card and go to the lunch just for spite.  LOL.

Wow, glad she'll be someone else's problem now, LOL!!!!

For me, it could go either way. I might go just to spite her or I might not show just to  make one last stand. I don't think you can be wrong either way~Just do what feels right for you. If you're going to go and be stressed and upset the whole time, then skip it.

At the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with you and your actions.  Think about how you are going to feel after, and let this guide you.  No point in cutting off your nose to spite your face, so chose the actions that you will be ok with afterwards.

Thanks everybody. I will probably end up going and try to sit at the other end of the table. Like Tracy said, I'll probably be stressed about it, but at least this is the last time I'll ever have to be in the same place with her.

Wanda,
It is a tough call but IF YOU CAN, be the better person and let her see her actions havent hurt you TO MUCH at all really and then she will be gone. Sometimes it heals either them or us by doing the right thing.
I have a very similiar situation here at work with a girl that I was close friends with at one time , UNTIL something she did ended all that .
We havent spoken in 7 years and I forgave her long ago ,,  she never did let go of it I guess.
I wish she was retiring or leaving .........slap me ,,, I didnt mean that :)
Shirley

Women can be such horrible creatures...I'm so sorry about this woman treating you this way. My opinion is to go to the luncheon, sign the card "Good to have known you." And just be glad she's leaving.

Other people will be there and you can be the "bigger person" and participate.

There are few people in my life I would do this to - but she sounds like one of them who wouldn't get any money for a goodbye gift, no name on the card, or my presence at the party. I wouldn't waste one more second of my energy on her cause I know she'd do the same for me.

Jenny

Wanda,  your post just made me laugh!  I had one of those witches in my office as well!  I just couldn't stand her, she was full of so much BS.  One day the HR person was taking a conference call in the (low walled) cube behind me.  The witch came and sat down in my cube, started crying about how she tried so hard, I hadn't trained her properly and it was all my fault she couldn't do her job.  She was literally crying!  After that, I don't think I said two words to her for 6 years.

A few months ago she was put the the surplus list.  I felt terrible because I truly didn't want her to lose her job, at the same time I was so relieved that she wouldn't be around!  Wouldn't you know, she managed to land another job in the company!  I was never so happy when I heard they made her move to another building!

As far as the lunch goes, you need to go.  YOU will still be working at your firm!

Michele