I'm still having trouble trusting my weight loss ... xpost

I brought my daughter to NY for a follow-up appointment with her surgeon. Great news there! Even after a bad fall because the other leg failed, which caused a great deal of soreness and swelling in the leg that was operated on, she is doing just wonderfully!

After Sarah's appointment we set off to do some back to school shopping for her and I decided to get a few things for myself. While shopping I was very aware of the fit of things and found that I was buying things a little on the 'big' side, so that when I gain weight, they will still fit. There is this part of me that is absolutely convinced that I will experience some regain of 7 to 15 lbs. I 'can' wear a size 4 or 6 in most of my slacks, but I bought size 6 and 8's because I don't know/believe that I'll be able wear them in few months. They are okay now, but a little loose. I figure if I gain some back, they'll be okay and/or a little bit tight. The clothes I bought will probably sustain that regain, if it happens...

I know that I've been concerned about continued weight loss that was occuring last month and that has stopped, but my the things and amount I've been eating to get my weight loss to stop makes me more than just a little bit nervous. I eat everything and anything and lot's of it. I pack in at least 2000 calories a day. I've been trying to gain and pulled out all the stops to stop the weight loss that was occuring last month... and it's worked, but it also scares me and I'm afraid that I'll start gaining uncontrollably, like all of the times in the past.

I haven't been journaling my food like I had before, so I've decided to try doing that again and Sarah and I will see about going to the gym after I pick her up from school. I'm hoping that these actions will help me maintain the bulk, if not all of my weight loss.

I think that alot of us think to much. I keep food and weight on my mind on everything I  do. And I am 3 years out. I am trying to stop thinking about it.

Amy

Hi Amy,

I appreciate your perspective and I think that you have a valid point. I also think that not thinking about what I ate, the consequences, etc. are in large part, what got me into the mess I was in when I started this journey. I don't want to be obsessive, but I think I'll always need to think about what I'm consuming, how much, etc... to be successful in the long run. I guess I'll need to get farther out to know for sure though.

Thanks for your response,

Barb

I understand your fear. I was losing weight quickly.. and amazingly, so I started relaxing on the "rules" and guess what? STILL losing weight, even though I feared the time would come that as I was able to eat more these bad habits would catch up with me... and they did..and by now they are just that, bad habits, and I now have 90 lbs to lose (after a 30 lb gain and not reaching goal). So your fear is real...don't start any habits that may be difficult to reverse. If you want to stop the weight loss try eating higher fat foods, ike butter instead of pam for eggs etc... because if you gain to much you can always go back to pam..etc.. but don't just eat everything and snack and think you'll "get away with it" forever...2000 calories MIGHT be a sustainable amount for you, but for me it causes me to gain. this far out.... so just be careful, I wouldn't panic YET...but be mindful but not obsessive..if that makes sense!

Good luck!

Hi Leslee,

Thanks for your candid and supportive response. I am being mindful of what I'm consuming and have done things like switching to higher fats. I've also altered my protien/carb/fat ratios. I'm not doing 'mindless' snacking because I'm terrified of the result that I might have and as you say it would be so much harder to make those changes. I don't know if a 2000 calorie diet is what I'll need in the long run. I've had an RMR done and that about where I seem to need to be, but I find it unnerving right now.

Thanks again,

Barb