7 years ago today - right now (2:30ishpm)
...I was getting up and taking my first lap around the surgical floor - beginning a new life as a "post op"...
I remember the following morning waking up in a panic thinking " "WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF??? I'LL DIE OF STARVATION - I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO EAT HOLIDAY MEALS OR _______" (fill in the blank - I thought it all...)
Having stabilized at a healthy weight /size for me... I have gone on with life - yes, I'm grateful that for me, there IS LIFE AFTER WLS!
I no longer obsess about what to eat...
or what NOT to eat..
or how often...
or what portion...
I now just "do"....
Not perfect by a long stretch, but I am grateful that I FINALLY had the sense to WORK at taking advantage of that "window of opportunity" that this tool affords... to WORK at learning new habits (boy do I mean WORK!) ... and to change my mind from "stinkin' thinkin" : that being so comfortable with "beating myself up for failing one more diet" by eating to medicate, or that "feeding my family is HOW I SHOW MY LOVE" (and feeding my face while prepping to feed them)... or the thinking that QUANTITY is how to determine value/worth re: eating out . that thinking that says "clean your plate - there are starving children"... or 'waste not want not" (so, again, clean my plate...)...
Highs?
You betcha.
Lows?
You betcha. Plenty. Physical: 6 weeks post: pulmonary embolism. 1.5 years post - complete bowel obstruction then galbladder then tendon / wrist/ shoulder issues... (hey - I abused my body for 40 years - I was paying the price!) Struggles. Emotional roller coaster of grief / joy re: the role I allowed food to play in my life...
Did I exercise like a fiend and get all "physical"?
Nope.
Should have - didn't.
But I just completed my 2nd Breast Cancer 3-Day. That's walking 60 miles in 3 days. A year and a half ago, Jan 07, when I committed to a CAUSE greater than "merely exercising" , I found myself getting up off the couch and walking, walking ,walking - and LO AND BEHOLD my body became a healthy MACHINE! WHO KNEW I HAD A MACHINE under this skin?
Now I walk because my body CALLS me to. Not because my head thinks "oh I should exercise".
Weird. Probably, but it's the mental game I play and it's working, for me.
I just wanted to write today, 7 years post op, to say: "there will be a day (for the healthy ones of us) that every thought will not be about consciously making healthy choices - because you will have RE-TRAINED your COMPUTER MIND / BRAIN to DO, automatically DO, to automatically MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES "most" of the time!! There can be a "normal" existance for most of us. Those with health issues, you are fighting a different kind of battle - I do understand some of that... but for others there IS LIFE AFTER WLS!!"
Here's to LIFE!
Judy G.
9/06/01
292 / 128 lowest (baaaaad) / now 159- 164 for 4.5 years
I remember the following morning waking up in a panic thinking " "WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF??? I'LL DIE OF STARVATION - I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO EAT HOLIDAY MEALS OR _______" (fill in the blank - I thought it all...)
Having stabilized at a healthy weight /size for me... I have gone on with life - yes, I'm grateful that for me, there IS LIFE AFTER WLS!
I no longer obsess about what to eat...
or what NOT to eat..
or how often...
or what portion...
I now just "do"....
Not perfect by a long stretch, but I am grateful that I FINALLY had the sense to WORK at taking advantage of that "window of opportunity" that this tool affords... to WORK at learning new habits (boy do I mean WORK!) ... and to change my mind from "stinkin' thinkin" : that being so comfortable with "beating myself up for failing one more diet" by eating to medicate, or that "feeding my family is HOW I SHOW MY LOVE" (and feeding my face while prepping to feed them)... or the thinking that QUANTITY is how to determine value/worth re: eating out . that thinking that says "clean your plate - there are starving children"... or 'waste not want not" (so, again, clean my plate...)...
Highs?
You betcha.
Lows?
You betcha. Plenty. Physical: 6 weeks post: pulmonary embolism. 1.5 years post - complete bowel obstruction then galbladder then tendon / wrist/ shoulder issues... (hey - I abused my body for 40 years - I was paying the price!) Struggles. Emotional roller coaster of grief / joy re: the role I allowed food to play in my life...
Did I exercise like a fiend and get all "physical"?
Nope.
Should have - didn't.
But I just completed my 2nd Breast Cancer 3-Day. That's walking 60 miles in 3 days. A year and a half ago, Jan 07, when I committed to a CAUSE greater than "merely exercising" , I found myself getting up off the couch and walking, walking ,walking - and LO AND BEHOLD my body became a healthy MACHINE! WHO KNEW I HAD A MACHINE under this skin?
Now I walk because my body CALLS me to. Not because my head thinks "oh I should exercise".
Weird. Probably, but it's the mental game I play and it's working, for me.
I just wanted to write today, 7 years post op, to say: "there will be a day (for the healthy ones of us) that every thought will not be about consciously making healthy choices - because you will have RE-TRAINED your COMPUTER MIND / BRAIN to DO, automatically DO, to automatically MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES "most" of the time!! There can be a "normal" existance for most of us. Those with health issues, you are fighting a different kind of battle - I do understand some of that... but for others there IS LIFE AFTER WLS!!"
Here's to LIFE!
Judy G.
9/06/01
292 / 128 lowest (baaaaad) / now 159- 164 for 4.5 years
Judy, I come and visit this board sometimes because I like to see how it is down the road after WLS (I'm only 3 months out). I am glad to know that after a while, you don't obsess over what to eat, how often, what to not eat or to eat...that's all I do right now! lol I enjoyed reading the journey that you've made to this point in your life, you sound like you really know who you are now girl! You look great and I hope to be a success like you are that far out!!
Happy Surgiversary!!
Happy Surgiversary!!
Hit goal weight of 140 at 13 months out from RNY!! 130 pounds GONE! 
WOW! What an inspiration! I will be out 3 years in November and I understand what you are saying by always having to do things because its "healthy". I want to feel like my body wants to and has to exersise to survive. For the past last 2 months I have started back to basics--eating protein, writing everything down, water etc...because I started to get a little ****y about what I ate. I thought oh I can have that its no big deal. Well, it is a big deal and I have felt better now that I am back in control. I am up to walking 2 miles a day and soon I would like to train for a 5 K. The 5K is a goal of mine since I had surgery. Anywhooo, congrats! God bless, Penni
My goodness girls, you (Christine AND Penni) are both absolutely stunning! The "real you" has emerged!! (don't you feel like that? I kept "her" hidden for too, too many years...)
Awesome! thanks for the support!
Oh... 5K will happen Then, then then.... ! You'll love how your MACHINE/BODY feels when moving! I'm proud of you for having a goal! (It took a sweet cousin getting breast cancer and me wanting TO DO SOMETHING to move me off my butt to train to walk (& fundraise)... that's disgusting it took tragedy of a loved one to learn to love myself...
Keep it up!
Awesome! thanks for the support!
Oh... 5K will happen Then, then then.... ! You'll love how your MACHINE/BODY feels when moving! I'm proud of you for having a goal! (It took a sweet cousin getting breast cancer and me wanting TO DO SOMETHING to move me off my butt to train to walk (& fundraise)... that's disgusting it took tragedy of a loved one to learn to love myself...
Keep it up!
Ms. Judy, you are AWESOME! I am a year out, just had my Tummy Tuck, and your words are so encouraging. I have gone from 282 down to 118 now. It is so surreal to be so small, sometimes I think I am going to wake up and it be over. I just had a bowel impaction after the TT. The Dr. said it was just from surgery...I am hoping so. That has been my only complication really. I have been truly blessed. My husband is in the Army and stationed in South Korea again (3rd time in 20 yrs). He came home on leave three weeks ago (for my TT) and he walked right by me lol. Did not recognize me after 21 years of marriage!! He says I am wayyyyyyyy toooo small and he does not like it. How did you gain some of the weight back? I find it so very hard to eat. What do you eat in a normal day? How many calories? My Dr. is telling me 1200 at least, but I can barely get in 700. I am concentrating now on protein for healing. I would like to be at around 125-130. Your story is so encouraging! I am so impressed with such long term success. I would love and appreciate any info you could share! Thanks so much and GOD BLESS!!
Wow, Kathleen - looked at your profile - woman you look fantastic!!
Okay, so you're recovering from the surgery (TT) which takes it's toll on your body so:
1) focus on healing... if you need to supplement your intake with liquid protein DO IT - try different kinds until you find one you like/can handle ... after my bowel obstruction surg I literally lived on clear Isopure protein drink - it was gentle to my intestines and helped me stay alive until I grew stronger, until my intestines could handle food again... you know, anytime the intestines are touched in surgery they become temporarily "paralyzed" - ileus. Those suckers wake up in their own time - FOLLOW YOUR SURGEONS recommendation - and communicate how difficult eating is.. together you can create ideas to help you ingest MORE calories... (calories for your body to burn for fuel- rather than continuing to burn IT for fuel!)
(also - realizing I was way too thin size 2/4 after the bowel obstruct I WORKED VERY HARD to regain! sipped with all my solid foods - created "soup" so I could ingest more calories.. took me over 9 months but I did it and am maintaining for 4.5 years now!- realize it could be a difficult habit to break - but to live - I had to do what I had to do!)
2) Your hub, like my eldest son, left & knew you one way - he came back and what he saw was so unfamiliar - unlike who he knew & loved... it's disconcerting- with the postopTT issues you've had you may be a bit thin, granted - but bottom line - YOU are SO MUCH different than what he's used to... it will take time... he'll eventually learn that you are you - just healthier!! and can be more active WITH HIM!! :)
3) you asked how many calories... I have no clue. I eat 6 small meals a day - about 98% of the time - some times 5, sometimes 7 :) I drink 1 homemade fruit / protein whey powder smoothie daily - LOVE IT LOVE IT! Usually sneak veggies in my egg breakfast dishes, in spaghetti sauces, etc... wow.. I really have no clue! That's where "reprogramming" comes in, - I did the work years earlier - now I'm in autopilot, I guess...
You keep working to fuel. I'm proud of you for realizing that you need to regain - you work that like you did the loss and you'll be strong & healthy before you know it!
Thanks for your support!
Judy
Okay, so you're recovering from the surgery (TT) which takes it's toll on your body so:
1) focus on healing... if you need to supplement your intake with liquid protein DO IT - try different kinds until you find one you like/can handle ... after my bowel obstruction surg I literally lived on clear Isopure protein drink - it was gentle to my intestines and helped me stay alive until I grew stronger, until my intestines could handle food again... you know, anytime the intestines are touched in surgery they become temporarily "paralyzed" - ileus. Those suckers wake up in their own time - FOLLOW YOUR SURGEONS recommendation - and communicate how difficult eating is.. together you can create ideas to help you ingest MORE calories... (calories for your body to burn for fuel- rather than continuing to burn IT for fuel!)
(also - realizing I was way too thin size 2/4 after the bowel obstruct I WORKED VERY HARD to regain! sipped with all my solid foods - created "soup" so I could ingest more calories.. took me over 9 months but I did it and am maintaining for 4.5 years now!- realize it could be a difficult habit to break - but to live - I had to do what I had to do!)
2) Your hub, like my eldest son, left & knew you one way - he came back and what he saw was so unfamiliar - unlike who he knew & loved... it's disconcerting- with the postopTT issues you've had you may be a bit thin, granted - but bottom line - YOU are SO MUCH different than what he's used to... it will take time... he'll eventually learn that you are you - just healthier!! and can be more active WITH HIM!! :)
3) you asked how many calories... I have no clue. I eat 6 small meals a day - about 98% of the time - some times 5, sometimes 7 :) I drink 1 homemade fruit / protein whey powder smoothie daily - LOVE IT LOVE IT! Usually sneak veggies in my egg breakfast dishes, in spaghetti sauces, etc... wow.. I really have no clue! That's where "reprogramming" comes in, - I did the work years earlier - now I'm in autopilot, I guess...
You keep working to fuel. I'm proud of you for realizing that you need to regain - you work that like you did the loss and you'll be strong & healthy before you know it!
Thanks for your support!
Judy
Happy Anniversary Judy and Congratulations on all of your success!!!!! You're an inspiration to me and I am so happy to hear that one day I will not have to think about everything so hard. I'm just 3.5yrs post op and many of my thoughts still revolve around what to eat, what not to eat, total calories, blah blah blah! I hope I can get to the place that you're at~being able to just be~be healthy, be happy with my weight, etc.
~*~Tracy B~*~
328/160 *** 5'9"
start/current
Hey Judy,
Thank you so much for this post. I am nearing my 4 year anniversary of WLS and have been beating myself up for the numbers on the scale. Although I'm healthier than I have been since my early 20's, the mental number game is still a struggle for me....
Thank you for your words of wisdom and congratulations for all you've accomplished.
Cindy D
California
Thank you so much for this post. I am nearing my 4 year anniversary of WLS and have been beating myself up for the numbers on the scale. Although I'm healthier than I have been since my early 20's, the mental number game is still a struggle for me....
Thank you for your words of wisdom and congratulations for all you've accomplished.
Cindy D
California
HI JUDY, SO HAPPY FOR YOU, YOU HAVE DONE A WONDERFUL JOB OF KEEPING IT OFF, AND EXERCISING. I AM GETTING READY TO CELEBRATE 7 YRS OCT 15, IS HAS BEEN LIFE CHANGING TO SAY THE LEAST, I HAVE KEPT IT OFF, UP AND DOWN AS MUCH AS 20PDS, BUT ALWAYS KEEP AT IT, AND EXERCISE AT A WELLNESS CENTER HERE IN FL. IT IS AN OPPORUNITY THAT I DON'T TAKE FOR GRANTED, I WAS ALMOST 61 AT THE TIME OF MY SURGERY RNY, BUT I FEEL YOUNGER TODAY THAN EVER. MY HUSBAND HAS HAD MANY HEALTH PROBLEMS, BATTLING CANCER RIGHT NOW, BUT I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I AM HEALTHY, AND CAN BE OF HELP TO HIM, GOD BLESS YOU, KEEP IT UP, US OLD TIMERS LOVE TO HEAR THAT WE, AND OTHERS CAN LOSE, AND KEEP IT OFF, BLESSINGS, SUSIE
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