cross post - my thoughts on reaching goal - and my energy level

my thoughts on reaching "goal"

when i started out i wt 270 pounds  

and had originally set my goal wt to be 150

when i got to about 180 i changed it to 135

so, i finally got down to 143

and now i am back to 150 and have maintained that for months now

since i cant seem to reach 135 i feel like a failure in that area

i wish i had never changed it

but, i dont really think i want to lose 15 more pounds i already think that i look too skinny on top - and of course not skinny enough on the bottom  

we are renovating our backyard

so, my husband and sons have been working hard on it and consequently have tracked half of the backyard into my house -

i have about 500 sq ft of tile and about that much carpet -

our little house is only like 11 or 12 hundred square feet  

i used to hire someone to do my floors cuz i just could NOT do them myslef

but, yesterday i swept all of my tile (twice) mopped all of my tile (twice)

and ran the hoover floor mate over the tile (twice)

then i vacuumed my carpet

there is no possible way i could  have done all of that before surgery absolutely no way  

i washed all of my rugs

swept the front and back porches

and rearranged my closet (tried on a bunch of clothes and got rid of them)

and cleaned one bathroom  

it is like there is no limit to the energy i have now

i get bored easily and dont know how i just "sat" around before  

i used to watch a lot of tv and now - it is just not a priority -

but, i do listen to it while bobby watches and i work from the other room -

it used to also bother me a lot when i would be working around the house and i didnt feel like he was "doing his part"

- but, now - i could care less if he helps me - i get it all done lickety split anyway  

thank God for Dr Syn and my RNY and all of my support system -

at home and on the boards

kf                       

Goals are fluid and dynamic.  They aren't set in stone.  At 270, you had no idea what 135 would look like or feel like.  Now that you are close, you have every right to evaluate your current situation and decide what's right for you.  Let go of the guilt and enjoy where you are!  You are doing great!

Wanda

thanks wanda

i am robbing myself by feeling guilty

i realize that now

kf

I agree, goals change, you had no idea what it would be like, so definately don't let yourself feel like a failure! If you're up to the challenge, go for it..but look how amazing it is right where you are!!

I was just thinking something similar today. i didn't get to goal, so i've been feeling aweful about msyelf,...yet really working hard this last month to get back on my way. But today as I climbed 90, yes you read that right NINETY FLIGHTS of stairs (stair master) I couldn't help but think back to the week before surgery when I had to rest half way up the ONE flight of stairs to get to my apartment. I mean..YES I want to "finish' what I started..but let's say WORSE case scenerio..I never lost another ounce, how amazing do I feel right where I am!! (and of course how amazing will I feel when I "finish" but right now we're focusing on success!) So go us!

It's fun noticing all the things we can do, that we used to not be able to do!

leslee

dear leslee

i am so impressed

90 flights of stairs

i cant imagine

if you go to nyc - maybe  you could take the staircase instead of the elevator to the top of the empire state building.

have you ever been there? it is amazing

kf

hahaha take the stairs, maybe I could! but why WOULD I? lol I am thinking I'd like to check into climbing the statue of liberty tho! so...one day maybe. Right now I'm preparing for a BIG hike in September, so I'm thinking lots of stairs will help similate that a little.  and help me prepare. I've hiked the mtn before at 280 lbs!!! But this time I want to enjoy it, not just survive it!  It's about 20 miles round trip. .But yeah, it felt amazing to know I could do so many stiars.. the first ten minutes is hard...but then it's just so exhausting you go into some sort of survival mode and I almost feel like I could just keep on going! lol My goal is to be able to do 250 flights non stop before I hike this mountain in Sept. If I can do that I'm sure this mtn will be a breeze!

250 flights?

that would be incredible!

i have only been to nyc twice and both times you could not go "to" to statue - you could only view it from the statan island ferry

do you live in scotsdale?

i have a friend who lives there - and i was wondering if you have a scotsdale phone book

kf

Hmm didnt think about that, i wonder if things changed after 9/11, when I was there like 15 years (or some long time ago) you could tour the Statue and climb inside up to her crown...I remember thinking "oh I'd never make that" but I've been 100 lbs over weight all my life, even as a 5th grade kid..I just looked it up and it's only like 30 flights or something..lol so yeah, I've already surpased that goal anyway! HA! I don't live in scotsdale or have a scotsdale phone book, but I look up everything on the online phonebook questdex.com. Maybe you could find her there? I don't think I even own a phone book anymore?...

Good luck!

her husband owns an orthotics company int scotsdale

and i havent been able to look it up by catagory on the net because i dont know the name of the business

got any ideas?

You look great in your picture!!  I can relate to being thin up top... I dont know why but my face and shoulder areas look small and then my tummy looks much bigger... maybe its that skin.  But to see me from the top youd think I was much smaller than the bottom.  I guess gravity works :).  As for that wagoneer diet I started today and so far so good.  And boy does it make me full.  Ive had 500 cals thus far and am full.  I have another 780- to go...and I was told by my dr today to do the mini meal route.  He said my BS dips are due to my RNY.  I got a b12 shot today so I feel better too.  The carb to protein ratio I think will really help me on the plan.  Will see.... Hope you are having a nice day!! Jess