self destructive behavior - am i "better enough"?

i have been doing pretty good - compared to my pre-surgery life  but, not so good for a post op - even at one year + out my wt is gradually creeping up because of poor choices i have got a "carb" problem i need to go to carb eaters anonymous i know it is self destructive behavior - and it feels like i am not in control of myself for some reason i dont think i have any more stress than i did before but, i am eating like crazy - dont know why i would really like to get to my goal but, it seems like i am  "better enough" does that make sense?

I believe carbs "begat" carbs. The more carbs you eat, the more carbs you want so it's a perpetual cycle...That's why the 5 day pouch test works so well. It's a cleansing, of sorts... Kind of like how I treat sugars. Icould probably eat that stinkin donut at work. I'd be sick the first couple of times but after a while...I'd be able to eat two and then three...And then I'd be 250 pounds again... You have to dig down and find the strength and keep the good fight. Cut out the white carbs or cut out just one...Just say no. And that one victory will get you looking to another one and then another...Just keep it up, you can do it...Seriously.

thanks dawn i get what you mean it seems like i dont have it "in me" to do what i did again does that make sense? i have looked at the 5dpt and thought - whatever! i know that sounds sarcastic and *****y of me - but, it just seems like - i dont have it inside to do all of that right now i dont particularly feel "blue" but,  what else could it be? laziness? self destructive behavior? thinking i have done enough? thinking that i cant accoplish my goals so it doesnt really matter? or maybe i just like to eat? seemed like i really did enjoy my meals more when i was "on" the wagon kf

But you do have it inside of you. You went as far as to have a drastic surgery to get control, now you're letting your head undo all that? Jump back on that wagon. You can do it...No one else can do it for you...You either have to do it yourself of decide that you had the surgery for no reason. That's too awful to think about for me. I just can't let "them" win...The people who said I couldn't stick to a diet so how could I stick to this? Those people who said 'Wait till you gain it all back." I'm never going to let them win over me again.  You can do it. If you want to.

thanks dawn you are exactly right thanks for your encouragement kf  ps - i love the name of the "town" where you live hehehe

Thanks. Since I'm probably the only person from my little dinky town on this board, I keep it to myself. Probably only 2800 people in this town.. We're all here to get encouragement and then pass it on. I was encouraged by people before me so I pass that along to other people.

Hi Kim, "Better enough" makes perfect sense to me!  The "carb problem" is one we all struggle with...they seem to find a way to sneak back into our eating habbits without our knowledge.  Frustrating and the will power seems to diminish 10 fold around "that time of the month".  You've got 8 pounds to goal...you'll make it!!!

its more than that now - i guess i need to change my ticker back i have gained 7 pounds i am currently 150 actually this morning it was 152 and i've been eating since i got up who knows what it will be in the morning kf

I find that protein throughout the day curbs the crave to eat...and carbs. I like wasabi peas, because that is a crunchy protein carb and better than chips. I try to eat small things that I can eat individually and that makes me eat slower. You know what you need to do. You can do it, and we can be here to help cheer you on. We all have good and bad days.....but the goal is more good than bad....and the victory is that you can see you are going off course, when before it probably would have gonen over your head!

thanks tami the idividual "things" to eat is a good idea that is one reason i like pastacios they eat slow and fill quickly  i like edemame also - had forgotten about that unitl i read your post you are right - the victory is in seeing things for what they are ahead of time kf