First date since surgery tomorrow

So I had RNY 9/06. I had LBL 3/08. Last Tues I went speed dating and had a match. The "dates" lasted 4 minutes each and I liked about 2 of the 14 guys. So I matched with 1 and we are going out tomorrow night. I am nervous cause I don't know how to tell him. One guy I was talking to actually said he felt sorry for me.. needless to say I never talked to him again. I want to be honest with him, cause I have never hidden this part of my life.. but I still have the fat girl mentality that I always had which is I am not good enough for anyone. I am trying to get out of that thought process and  realize I deserve to be happy and I am worthy to be loved. Wish me luck.

You don't have to tell the date right away but it is something that may or may not come up. Don't force it and it will be just as natural as speaking to a friend.. You are better than good enough. You are awesome. Look what you did in the name of health? Look what you did for yourself. I'd say most women would just keep being fat. We're a small percentage of the population here.. And exclusive group of individuals. Any man would be/should be thrilled that you would give them any time at all. You should be cherished and worshiped for the awesome strong woman that you are!  Sorry for you? PSh! I'm sorry for him cuz he's never going to know what an awesome person he skipped over..Loser!

Always remember that people should like you for you.  The surgery didn't make you the person that he agreed to go out with.   The person you are was there when you were heavier, maybe not as confident, but still... we do change with this surgery but I've found for me it has been for the better.  I love myself now , as I'm sure you do.  I agree you don't have to really tell him right away.   This isn't something that could distroy is view of you or ruin his manhood Hey and if you look at on the lighter side... Your a cheap date.  That's what my husband tell me.   The only time I think someone is going to notice is when you do go out.  And really we need to not worry so much about what other's think.  You'll do great!  Just stay true and honest to who you are and I'm sure he'll see that.  Good Luck

We've all got things in our past that nobody would want to come out at a first date! I'm sure the guy has a few things he'd rather you not know for a while. I would be absolutely terrified to have to date again. If I ever am a widow or get a divorce, I'll just have to stay that way. I am meeting new people tonight that I sort of need to impress (my daughter's boyfriend's parents), and I'm scared to death. Be sure to let us know how your date went.

Hi Shelly, Everyone pretty much said what I was gonna say,  just love yourself for who you are, and when that confidence shows.  You will attract a whole lot of men, as far letting him know about your weight loss surgery, I don't think it is such a big deal, and if he thinks it is, than he is not the one for you.  Good-Luck!!!

So we had our date and it went well. Turns out he is a Type 1 diabetic and let me know that before we got to the resturant so it was easy to tell him that i used to be a type 2 and we went from there. We had a good time talking, eating and playing pool.  We are going to go out again and see what happens. :) Thanks for all your advice... you guys are the best.

aaaahhh!! That's so exciting! Good job! yeah, I did a LOT of dating about a year after surgery, and in most cases it just came up...or I guess I found a way of making it come up, just pased it off as no big deal and matter of fact..just how it was, and for the most part they thought it was cool and were happy to eat my left overs ;) I didn't want them just thinking I was a finiky eater having only a few bites before I was "full"..I really WAS full!!! lol Congrats! Welcome to the dating world! Ok..so I left that world 6 months ago...but go**** was fun/miserable lol... good memories. Good luck with your future dates! you deserve to have the time of your life! Leslee