Sliding back..need help

So, at my lowest 6 months ago i was 158. Now I am 170. 2 months ago I was 165 and had an LBL. They took off 8 pounds... but i gained 5. I had stopped going to the gym as much in the last 3 months and started back yesterday. I know my food in take has not been the best. I have started with pieces of cakes and brownies... no sugar free... but I do make some sugar free stuff.. but then proceed to eat 3 cookies a day cause I don't want them to go bad. I don't want to fail. I lost over 100 lbs... i just spend $15,000 on plastics... I just have a hard time controlling myself. I was letting myself get into old habits of ordering out a lot and going out to eat every night. I am really trying to stop the temptations but it is hard. Yesterday I made brownies for work, cut them into chunks and had 2. I am going to start posting my food intake again on the board so any advice would be great. This site saved me after surgery and hopefully it will save me again. Thanks for letting me vent. ~Michelle

Hi Michelle,

My name is Kathy from North Carolina. Oh Michelle, I'm struggling so very badly, too. I'm afraid of gaining, gaining, gaining. My eating is out of control, also. My GBP was Dec. 1, 2005, my weight on that day was 284, I'm 5'2" tall, I did get down to 133 lbs, stayed there for just a few days, mainly my weight has stayed around 136 - 138 lbs for a couple years, right now I weigh, 146. It's not so much about the weight, well yes it is, but I'm so worried about my eating pattern. I know good and well I'm badly messing up. I 100% believe writing down everybite and posting it on this site "accountabilty" is the answer, every bite we eat every single day. We also have Friday Weigh In each week. But we have to be committed.  "Even though I overeat in private my excess poundage is there for all the world to see, how foolish I've been."  Yesterday, I did journal and I did post it, however I was up EATING off and on all night, that's what I need help with, night eating... Several months ago I had a tummy tuck, too. Hoping to get my arms done soon.  I can't believe how I'm eating, please, Michelle and all of  you "Grads", look out for me, look for my name. I need help, too. We should not ever let any FOOD boss us around, after what we've been through, right? We can talk, food can not, it is not calling our name, it's in our head! Missus Little,Carla and several others have really helped me. Kathy from NC

Hi kathy, I too have a problem with night time eating...sometimes I'm up eating as often as 5 times a night...or every hour on the hour..talk about a poor nights sleep!  I actually now have my husband lock the fridge and pantry, I put all food in those two places. This is just till I get out of the habit, but that might take a while...because it's almost uncontrolable, almost like I don't even know I'm doing it... the drive is so strong. But with it locked..I just mourn for a bit that I can't eat..then go back to sleep. We're going on night three, so I hope it keeps working. And i hope to start seeing the difference on the scale. I also got into day time snacking and drinking alcohol..see my post "dramatic? maybe. Effective yes!" I talk about it more there.. Good luck to us all!! Leslee

Gaining any amount of weight (2 lbs or 20 lbs) is scary for most of us here. I think you're on the right track though~you've identified the problem areas and now you're ready to deal with them and make changes where needed. It is SO hard for me to keep control too~some days I win, some days I lose. I hate it, but that's my life! It seems so unfair that alot of people can just walk around and never have to think or worry about what goes into their mouth, but for us its a constant daily struggle. I think posting/logging your food is a great start. I love thedailyplate.com for doing that~I also log my workouts there. We can succeed at this for the long haul, but man does it take alot of work and dedication!!! Keep us updated on how things are going for you!

Food logging will be a great start - it will allow you to 'face' in black and white exactly how the sugary snacks are adding up to your day. Getting back to the gym will definately be a big help as well. You may want to use the 'out of sight out of mind' approach with the sugar... while making brownies for co-workers is nice if you cannot control yourself around them then dont make them... if you have to bring something to work swing by the grocery store in the morning and pick up something pre-made. With the cookies... get them out of the house, same with the cake... I also have a hard time letting food go to waste but its better to tra**** then to put it into your mouth - bring it to work and give it away... give it to a neighbor or just put it down the drain if you have to... best is to not even have it in the first place but if it must be around then keep limited portions and make sure they are gone gone gone as quick as possible so you are not tempted.  Ordering out is also an easy habit to fall into... its just plain easier - my plan for myself is to eat out lunch only once a week and dinner only once a week... not only is it better for my waistline but also excellent for my wallet. I found sitting down and printing out recipies I think I would like helps... I also now cut/print coupons and look thru the sale ads and try to loosly plan my meals for the week. On Sunday I pre-portion what I can - my greek yogurt, cottage cheese, fruit, veggies etc so I can easily put my lunch together or grab-n-go a heatlhy snack. It doesnt take but a few minutes and it saves me a lot of time during the week and keeps me from eating out as much. 

I don't want to sound harsh but hon you need to stop eating brownies.  Get yourself off carbs.  Sugar is the worst addiction, and leaves you wanting more, more and more.  Sugar free crap is just as bad because it often has even MORE calories, carbs, fats, etc. I would get back to basics, follow the rules that helped you lose all the weight, and you will see it start falling off again. 

Wow...We have the same numbers!  I got down to 158...and then up to 165 and stayed there. I did hit an all time high of 178 over the winter...(some of that was severe bloating and constipation)  But I did gain a good 10 lbs in a few months...Halloween to New Years!  Bad time for me. I had little self control and just didn't much care. I wasn't weighing myself either so I wasn't aware how fast I was gaining.  My clothes told me! That's when I decided to do some heavy duty carb cutting and get rid of all the stuff I let creep back into my pantry shelves.  I lost about 5 on my own with exercise and cutting carbs...Then I did the 5 Day Pouch test because the cravings and hunger and gassy feelings were making it impossible for me to control anything...After the second day on protein drinks and liquids...I began to feel soooooooo much better.   I replaced all my chocolatey attacks with fruits and cheesy stuff made into desserts. I got a ton of recipes that are carb friendly from Eggface's blog  (Michele is a genius when it comes to making WLS friendly foods)  She's had WLS too and she posts recipes with photos and instructions! She awesome and funny too. Check her out  http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/    I am not joking when I say this...You won't need sugary desserts after trying some of her recipes and her ideas are endless. She was a real insipration to me because I am a cook and Italian too...I just never imagined I could cook light and make things taste as great!  So she taught me that good taste doesn't always have to be about bread and pasta and rice and sugar....Now I'm on my own and peek at her recipes once a week or so ...I need my Micheley fix!  She gives great snack ideas too with her ads and photos...I love her!!!  She really is awesome.   I struggle with fear of gaining too...and I am stubborn and a rebel and I totally sabotage myself on some days...Mostly on purpose...If I wake up and my feet hit the floor hard and grumpy...I'm gonna have a bad day of eating...SO...I just do...But I always do with the intention of ending it when I go to sleep and starting over FRESH and ready to be good the next day. I have to...You have to. You have to allow those bad days and just know that it's okay once in a while...I ate some 3000 calories one day...It was easy! I ate out and had desserts and junk.  But you see, I only know how many calories it was because I log my food.  Eating out. is enough to make me faint when I do the totals....OMIGOD that 's eye opening,.  No wonder so many of us gain weight...You can't believe how many calories are in food you eat out!  You can make the same meal at home with 1/3 those calories just by cutting some sugars, carbs and fat.  Stop making brownies...Just stop! Don't by cookies either...Only when you have company and then make them take them home!  Seriously! You have to stop that. (I say this with a refridgerator roll of Tollhouse cookie dough in the fridge as I speak!)  I have company !  LOL  But I don't dare make them while no one is here!   Good luck...Stay and post ...

I hear you on the not wanting the brownies and cookies to go bad...Let them go bad. Let them grow mold so you can't eat them...It's really hard but you can do it. If you can't give them away to friends; neighbors or co-workers (that's my favorite dumping ground), throw them away...crush the box, dump coffee grounds all over it and toss it.. If you absolutely must have a cookie...Have just one and get as far away from the others as you possibly can. Strength doesn't come all at once, usually...So find out what is "calling" you and deal with it one at a time...Cover the cookies so you can't see them. Put them in another room or in a cupboard when you are in that room.  You can do this, we'll be there to cheer you on...or kick your butt...whichever.

I've experienced a little gain myself lately, and I understand your frustration. I think getting back to the gym will help you focus on what you need to do. It's a matter of having your mind in the right place. After a while it's easy to lose our determination, after all that fun of losing weight, and then we have to work so hard to stay the same. It may also help you to look at old pictures and remember how things used to be. That might motivate you to keep from returning. From what I've read, it's normal to gain some weight after PS, from not being able to work out, but now that you're getting active again, I bet you'll drop your weight pretty quick.

Wanda - you look absolutely amazing!