It's strange to not have people recognize you... xpost

I saw several people today that I haven't seen in a while and to be honest they didn't recognize me at first. It's kind of odd when that happens. I know I look different, but I don't percieve that I look 'that' different. I 'feel' like I still look like me, but apparently, I don't. It's strange to have someone **** their head to the side and look at you quizically until the light of recognition crosses their faces as they hear your voice and realize who you are. The first few times it happened, it was novel, but as it continues I have to say that it's a little un-nerving. I guess in large part, because I am basically the same person I was a year ago, there is just less of me.

Have you had this happen? If so, how often does it happen and how does it make you feel?

Most of the people I'm around know that I've had surgery so it doesn't happen too often, but I have had it happen~mostly within the first year when I was in the rapid weightloss stage. It's a weird thing~I often wondered "is this a compliment or not?!?!" Just remember that you are the same person on the inside and the people that really know you know that! They love you for you, not for the external appearance!

Tracy,

Thanks for your always thoughtful and supportive responses. I do 'know' that I'm basically the same person I was before and I believe that almost everyone I've come across has felt that way too. I think it's the incredible surprise on their face that catches me off-guard, especially if they have seen me in the past few months. I guess I didn't so much difference in the last 30 lbs; apparently, there was more than I thought. I haven't posted photos for about the last 10 lbs. I think I look very much the same, but from the reactions I get, I must look different.

Thanks again,

Barb

When I was in the first 18 months post op, it happened often.  My husband talks about the mean looks he would get around town because people thought he was with a different woman. Then it ebbed off for a bit.  This past year I went back into an industry and saw many old clients who had not seen me since my surgery.  It was disconcerting at times since the newness of the rapid change is so yesterday's news now.  But the compliments of how great I look continue to be thoughtful and welcomed. Don't read anything into people's words of surprise and good wishes.  They often will say something before thinking it through.  They generally mean well but have a hard time expressing their thoughts when surprised.  If someone is truly being nasty, you will have no doubt about them. Vicky

Vicky,

Thanks for your lovely response. I have been very fortunate that the comments I have received have been very kind. It is just somewhat disconcerting sometimes, because while I do 'know' that I've lost a great deal of weight I still see 'me' when I look into the mirror. I guess I don't really look at the whole of me, I see my eyes and my smile; maybe that's from years of not 'looking' at the whole me. I do know that when I was recently in NYC walking down the street and seeing my reflection in the windows, I was surprised at slender woman looking back at me. It will probably take a while for me and my friends and family to adjust to my new appearance.

Thanks again,

Barb

Barb, I just wanted to share......... I was at a support group meeting and a woman in the room looked so familiar.  I kept staring but couldn't figure it out.  At one point she spoke and I KNEW!  It was a former client I had not seen in four years. Well she was amazing.  We visited after the meeting and shared similar stories.  She was about 2.5 years post op and I was about nine months. The next day at work I was relating the story about not recognizing someone I had worked with daily for several years.  A co worker of mine commented, "Vicky, people think the same of you."  I was stunned!  It was one of the first times I realized how different the outside really was to the observer. I am about 2.5 years post op.  I am still shocked by the visual when I catch a sight of myself unaware. Hugs. Vicky

I dont even know you and I wouldnt recognize you from your old picture  Wow It hasnt happened to me in a long time but every once in a while I run into someone who hasnt seen me since Ive lost weight and they think I am my sister   we basically have the same head   she just had a 100 pound body her whole life :-) when it happedn alot it make me feel great   I loved knowing I looked different and just because people think you look different doesnt mean they think you are different BUT I can tell you that almost everyone treats my 195 pound body differently than they did my 360 pound body      and that makes me nuts Diana RNY 9/17/03 360/195/forever aiming at 180

Hi Barbara, This happens to me all the time, and people KNOW that I had surgery and lost weight, in fact I'm in the public eye all the time!  The most hilarious thing that happens is when someone walks up to me at my business and asks me if Shadoe is here.  I'm Shadoe. Shadoe

Hi Barbara

This happened to me a few times....First experience was when I went to see my psycho therapist.  I was in the waiting room, she was passing by, she looked at me and I at her and I said hello and she answered with a hello like who the He** are you?  Then she apologized when I went in form my appointment.

Second time, I was in the food store and a young woman I knew from my husband being in the volunteer fire department looked at me with bewilderment and confusion on her face when I said hello and told her who I was.

Like you, I too don't think I changed and that I look the same as ever----guess I don't; even though when I look in the mirror I see the same obese Marianne I was before my WL surgery even though I am 120 lbs lighter.

 

 

 

This happened to me a lot also during the first 12-18 months post op.  I have like the best story ever about this.  We went to the air show on base (hubby was still active duty then)  and so we go to the squadron booth with the kids to get some water.  Now the kid running the booth had met me like 50 times, but I hadn't seen him in about a year, I guess I had lost like 90 lbs or so by this time... (also I cut my hair real short) anyway, so he and I are chatting, hubby and kids walk off, so after a few minutes I say, "Well, I'd better catch up with them."  and the boy says, (HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS)   "I'm so glad you're here, the Chiefs last wife was a real (rhymes with WITCH)"   LOL LOL   I swear, to this day that is the best compliment I have ever gotten.   Oh, the girl working the booth with him must have told him the secret, cuz about 3 weeks later when I went to hubbys shop he saw me and lit out of there like someone had set him on fire.  ha ha ha ah Poor kid. Traci 303/131