I think I have a problem, OK I know I do, deep post

Sorry but needed to delete this post, I'm terribly embarassed.

Does what you're doing seem reasonable to YOU????

If you're concerned about landing yourself in the hospital...why would you consider even trying it??? I'm sure you KNOW that menu is WLS UNfriendly or hell, anyone UNfriendly. We would all like to be richer but is it worth going to jail by robbing a bank?? Probably not. You may want to see a therapist that specializes with WLS pts. No matter how much smaller your size gets, you'll still want more. Best of luck to you. April

Hmmm, I have so many thoughts I'm not sure where to start.  First off, I understand the wanted to get thinner and thinner~I feel that way too. Its like nothing is every good enough. I am 5'9" and have been maintaining in the 150s' for 2yrs now~but would I like to be in the 140's, Yep! Then once I hit the 140's I know I'd like to be in the 130's~it would be a never ending cycle for me if I let myself begin so I fight off the urges and try to stay focused and happy with where I am today~at a healthy, maintainable weight! I know I "could" drop down pretty low, but I also know I would "not" be able to maintain that low weight for very long and then I'd be unhappy with  myself~why set myself up for failure (even though that's not really a failure, its reality!).  I know that you know you're on a slippery slope with the drinking and the proana websites. I am not anti-drinking~I enjoy a ****tail myself from time to time~but if you're replacing food with alcohol then that's a problem. The diet menu that you listed is so low in calories that I know I wouldn't be able to lose weight on it~I'd be in starvation mode within 2 days and my body would fight to hold on to every ounce! I lose better when I keep my calories higher, push protein and water, exercise, etc. If you tried these menus you probably wouldn't end up in the hospital, but I don't know that you'd reach what you're looking for. Anyway, I feel if you want to be 135, there's a healthy way to get there. We all know there's no cutting corners when it comes to weightloss~it takes alot of hard work to achieve whatever our "ideal" is.  I hope you talk to your therapist about all of this. You CAN gain control over these feelings and live a happy, healthy life! Good luck and keep us posted on how things are going for you!!!

I usually read all the post...  but I got stuck on one thing and pretty much the rest went out the window.  You said:  "Yes, I am sometimes drinking alcohol, I googled the calorie count and it looks like I am drinking around 650 calories a day from it at times."  Dang girl. What in the heck are you drinking?  If its mixed drinks, you need to get yourself some sugar free recipes and learn how to make them, and even customize them for when you are out in a restaurant.  I have margaritas and they are 67 calories for the one shot of tequila, sugar free for the rest, maybe 10 calories as I use 2 Crystal Lite packages.  IF you are going to do it, then you should find a substitution so that you can get your calories from food... NOT drinks, NOT alcohol!  Alcohol will cause you to stall and not lose weight, even cause the blotation and make your tummy look larger.  I only drink 2 a week and that's all I can handle because it makes me so blah and bloated. My tummy pokes out even though I weigh the same.  As for your desire to lose a few more lbs, you didn't say how tall you were.  Look up a bmi calculator, key in your height and weight, and if its in the normal range, then I would say ok.    Sounds like your goal weight is reasonable... just do not let yourself get below the "normal" range on the bmi scale... 

Is this a mental "want" or a physical "want"? Because watching the number go down on the scale makes me happy. When it goes up, I get depressed. That's mental because I'm already in the low range of normal on my BMI. I LIKE it when people tell me I've lost too much..It's all mental with me now and let me tell you, it's a fight to keep from losing more weight just because I like that new drug-feeling.. Drinking too much is a new-drug-feeling too. Switching addictions is a real thing for wls patients.  You may already be at the right weight for your activity level/muscle tone/height...The number on the scale is just that: ONLY A NUMBER...What's in your head is what really really counts.

WOW. My stomach just turned. This has got to be one of the saddest posts I have ever read and I am too overwhelmed to even say what I really want to. You need help. If it's invisibility you want from getting a lower number on the scale then just be patient. Your current lifestyle is slow suicide and you'll be invisible soon enough because you won't be around anymore. Please seek outside assitance with this. Anoreixa and/or bulimia along with alcoholism is a recipe for disaster. You're putting yourself at tremendous risk and you need help to stop it. We here at OH do not have what it takes to support you in this matter. You need a serious intreatment facility to work on these issues.   I wish you all the best.

Really the only thing that needs to be said here is if you are googling *proana* websites you need to get yourself into therapy, quickly.

Pro-Ana= Please get help and consider confiding in a professional right away, K?

Hi Melissa :) I am sure you are gonna say "uh oh" here comes the other Melissa out of the woodwork.  We had a chat back in the day when all you were eating was 300 calories and no more b/c "you couldn't get anymore in and doc didn't allow shakes".  I told you at the time you needed to do whatever it took to get your protein requirements in or your body will rob from its own tissues/muscles and organs. ok gonna break down my thoughts on all this... 1) I have a husband who is 6 years out of RNY.. he transfer addicted to alcohol 18 months postop and it almost ended our marriage several times.  So I have strong emotional ties with this being "the other" person and how it affects us.  I was devastated.  It costs us lots of money and him a record on his drivers license and a stamp of DUI.. twice.  It sucked.  I won't go into the details but getting a job wasn't really an option neither was driving and we had moved to a new town far away from my roots.. u can imagine the pressure.  After his 2nd strike.. he got help.  I gave him an ultimatum.  He knew the door was gonna hit him where the good Lord split him soon if he didn't get his act together... b/c I wasn't gonna tolerate it.  He has been sober now 3 years.. it took counseling, lots of soul reflecting and hearing his own family tell him how disappointed they were in him.  But HE had to make the decision.. nobody could make it for him.  I don't tell many people this story, I am not one to discuss skeletons in my closet but I just put it out there on a national website for the world to see b/c I want you to get help.... if it helps you its worth the world knowing my dirty laundry. 2) eating that low of calories and inadequate protein will rob from your organs and tissues.  we have discussed this at length before.  Also.. I just went to a diabetes conference. Alcohol is the FIRST line for energy.  There is also almost 7 calories per gram (unlike the 4 in regular carbohydrates) for alcohol.  Our bodies will go to this source FIRST before carbs, fat and protein.  So you aren't gonna lose weight my dear b/c your body is using the alcohol for energy b/c u provide it with that first line of energy.  Especially if almost half your intake is coming ethanol.  You stopped that and even kept the calories at 1200ish you would lose weight.. especially if you had a good amount of protein and less white carbs.. you would be surprised.  You are killing your own weight loss.  That diet example you provided.... you know its inadequate in many areas. Very inadequate. You are a smart girl, I feel this post was a cry for help and I am sorry to call you on that.  I have called you out before. I myself have my own "issues" post op (relationship issues with food) and I get the help I need.  SO in no way am I saying I am perfect, b/c I am far from it.  Heck most of us had WLS b/c we were far from it and will struggle in some way daily as a postop but we can do our damndest to live with it through support and therapy.  I congratulate you on coming here today and posting this.  Sounds like you aren't willing to give up your "friend" right now but I hope you can find a way to come to terms with a better relationship with it b/c its doing u a severe injustice both mentally and physically. Take care..