Depression

It definitely does seem that way, though I am hoping it's not true.  My problem is that I have been hurt so badly by friends lately that is is difficult for me to trust anyone enough to form new relationships.  It's a shame, too, because I know I am just further isolating myself.  It's funny that you say that you don't want anyone else's man.  I, too, just want my own but it was months before I could convince my HUSBAND that I didn't want another man.  I'm not sure he's convinced even now!

I was on Wellbutrin and Lexapro prior to surgery.  My depression resolved, I was able to come off the meds.  I felt great.  Til the winter.  And til now.  I am thinking I need to go back on an anti depressant.  I hate to..I have so much going on in my life that is great, but why do I just feel agitated, sad, just this feeling of "ick"?  I am beginning to wonder if I don't need to go back to anti depressants.  I hate to if this is just a passing feeling...  I am trying to ride it out.  There is no crying spells, or feelings of despair.  Just these feelings of not being happy when I have so much to live for.  I want to be happy. 

I totally understand not wanting to be on the meds.  This was a HUGE step for me because I used to be one of those people who didn't believe in them.  I am now a great believer.  I think I have truly discovered the difference between sadness and depression. Sadness is part of the human condition, and it passes with time (ie. there is a cause for it and you work through it).  If you are depressed, there is no way to pull up by your bootstraps and shake yourself out of it, regardless of what everyone else says, and regardless of how hard you are on yourself for not being able to.  It is an illness, just as diabetes, but one with a heavy stigma attached to it.  I think we feel ashamed when we have to seek treatment for it, which is sad, because, if the issue were cancer, we would not hesitate to seek immediate treatment, if not for ourselves, for those who love us.  Like any other illness, if left untreated, it has the potential for becoming worse.  Mine started out slow, with a feeling of unhappiness that I couldn't explain, but within a few months of not being able to pull up by my bootstraps no matter how hard I tried, I was a shriveling basket case who could not take care of herself, much less her precious children.  I know for myself that I do not want to get to that point again.  I'm not ecstatic about the meds, but at least I can function and compartmentalize some of the things I am grieving for (and work on pulling up some of those things I was unaware of).  I think if necessary, I would take the meds for the rest of my life, just as a diabetic needs insulin.

Reaching goal was a bit of a let down.  There were no trumpets, the sun was not brighter, the birds didn't chirp any differently.  In some ways you might expect the journey to be over; but, it really only moves into a different phase. Now I just live life and work everyday not to return to where I might have been.

So true, so true...I am still waiting for the big ticker tape parade, hehehe!!!  It IS a huge letdown.  I'm not even terribly excited about shopping - I didn't enjoy clothes before, and I don't really enjoy them now.  I expected to love shopping!  And to tell you the truth, I am starting to resent everyone telling me how great I look.  I wish everything wasn't about my appearance.  I am an intelligent woman with two degrees and lots of interests, but all anyone can talk to me about is my weight.  I guess it still is a journey, albeit not as much fun as the weight loss phase of it!  I'd love to talk to people 5-10 years out.  I wonder if this is like all things in life, and this too shall pass?  I am to the point of obsession about not gaining this back!  I think you eventually get to the point where this evens out and becomes a way of life.  I hope so!

Hi... I tried to respond to your post so many times...I can't..So I will just say this...You are not alone. Not at all.  I personally did my soul searching 10 LONG years prior to WLS...so my mind and heart was already healed. (I'm still twisted and warped...trust me!)  LOL  But nothing prepares you for standing in a crowd wearing this smll person that you always felt you were inside....It's like standing there inside out. Talk about odd...and you feel like people should be staring and they DON'T And its disappointing.  You think with all the negative attention you got being heavy that the opposite should happen being thin...and it doesn't!  LOL There's no red carpet or spotlights...No introductions...You are just finally an average person and it's just not what you thought. All this time...being thinner is not all the bells and whistles....You become "just average"... I'm glad you are getting help for your issues..That's a LONG road sweetie...a long long road...Learn to love yourself and heal...You are well on your way.  Enjoy your blessings for what they are...health and a new found happiness with your hubby...Let that grow and bloom and know you are not alone....I promise you that!  Hugs