Still have THOSE days....

I just want to know that I'm not alone.... I'm 2 yrs out from RNY  .. had plastics Oct 07... have done really well... lost about 170 from original weight and am now fluctuating around 130 lbs... I'm a member at a gym but have excused myself this week because I am just exhausted... Sometimes I feel like I stress myself out because of my food struggle & pushing myself to get to the gym... I dont sleep well and feel like sometimes it's because I'm so stressed about what I've eaten during the day or that I didnt go to the gym or what I'm going to eat the next day.... I feel consumed by my weight issues sometimes.... Does anyone else feel like this?  Sometimes I wish I could just cut myself a break but I'm being even harder on myself now because I have allowed myself more snacks lately so I feel so guilty for doing that!!  I am so afraid of gaining the weight back!!!

You're not alone!!! I 'm sure you'll hear this from others, but, I have the most trouble when I'm exhausted. Relax and give yourself a break, you have done a phenomenial job!!

I'm having some similar issues myself, Candice, although not exactly the same thing.  I've become pretty rigid about what I eat and I make a food plan every day.  I get stressed if I have to attend a function involving food where I don't have control or choice over what's being served.  I'm going to the gym about 10 hours per week and I schedule that time before I put anything else on my calendar.  So I'm spending less time with family and friends, and more time at the gym.

I sometimes feel like my whole life has become about having lost the weight and having to work to keep it off.  I feel like if I make one too many bad choices that I'll regain what I've worked so hard to lose.  And that's just not okay with me, so I stay very focused on maintaining my loss. 

I'm trying to figure out how "normal" people maintain their weight.  Sure, I know "normal" folks who spend a lot of time at the gym, but are they tracking everything they put in their mouth and weighing themselves every day?  Maybe, but I honestly don't know.  For me, I feel like where I'm at now is too extreme in terms of how much time and energy I'm spending on food and exercise issues.  But I'm afraid that if I let the pendulum swing the other direction to try and find a better balance that I'll go to far backwards and start to regain. 

I don't have a solution, but I thought it may be helpful to know you are not alone....

{{{{{hugs}}}}} and good luck on your continuing journey -

Kellie

You're not alone! I have often described it as "exhausting" b/c sometimes it is. We have to worry about our food choices, gaining weight, taking our vits on schedule, drinking enough water, getting in enough protein for the day and not too many carbs, working out, blah blah blah...........I could go on forever, LOL!!! Its mentally exhausting some days! I give myself permission to obsess about it b/c I feel I'm being vigilant and this will help me in the long haul not to regain weight, but that could just be an excuse to obsess, I don't know. I suffer from OCD anyway,so give me an inch and I'll take a mile! We have lost about the same amount of weight and its scary b/c the thought of regaining any weight is extremely stressful to me. That being said sometimes we need to give our bodies a break~time to regroup, relax and refuel. Don't stress over taking a break from the gym~its when we start to take the extended breaks (where 1 week rolls into 4weeks)that we have to worry. It looks like you've done a fantastic job in the last 2yrs and I'm sure you will continue to do so! Congratulations on all of your success!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you are taking your vits and supps...and getting yearly labs!  Being tired is one thing...being "exhausted" (your word) is not something to ignore!  I promise! It might be a matter of just taking an extra vitamin to make you feel better! If you haven't had labs in a while, you might go do that soon... But I totally understand the stress of a daily challenge with food and exercise and comsuming ourselves at every moment about maintaining our weight. I almost can't handle it all anymore. I cut back on some of my obessiveness and I feel a little stressed from not keeping track of every calorie that goes in my mouth but at the same time...I am beginning to feel "unchained" too.  So I'm trying to focus on daily activities and making lists of things I want to do rather than things I want to eat...It's hard! It's draining...I totally understand. It feels like a sickness sometimes.  Nope...you are not alone...For SURE! Hugs

I am religioius about taking my vit. & supplements & I have been going to my surgeone every 3 months for labs which are perfect every time!  Which is really what is so frustrating sometimes is that I'd like to find a problem that can be fixed!!  I am glad to know everyone else struggles with this!! I feel so obsessed/crazy sometimes over my weight struggle.  It's almost like constant anxiety that I can't control.

I know what you mean...sometimes I think it would be easier if I could pin it on a derned good reason...But fear is what it seems to be.  Fear of gaining...Fear of losing control...fear of failing just one more time. Fear of this being a short term cure...Fear of what complications I might end up with...Fear that if I give in a few times to many will I totally lose it.   Yeah...:::Sigh:::I think this is normal...I'm here 4 years later trying hard to realize that "hey, I'm doing it so what's the problem?"  4 years maintaining and a few close scares and weight gains that I get under control...But the fact that I push the boundaries enough to gain 10 lbs scare the holy mother of pearl outta me! LOL I guess people like us (most of us) just need longer to trust ourselves and more time to know ...WE CAN AND WE ARE DOING IT!  We need to give ourselves a break...but that's when I lose it, it seems...so how do you give yourself a break when you know...you are more complicated than that???  :(  :::snarls:::  Who said this was the easy way out?  At least we all have each other for support when it gets tough...and as long as I know that I have you all...I'm okay until the next panic attack!  LOL Hang in there sweetie....  

I can't exercise in the evenings cuz it gets me all revved up and I can't sleep. Then I'm tired and can't function the next day. I've found that just stretches at night but keep the cardio workout to the early morning only...If I can only do the stretches, oh well.  I have a lax additude about cardio workouts...Stretches and weight training are better, in my mind.

I have a mantra: Never Again I am concerned about weight and weight myself twice a week.  I happy if I'm under 195 and unhappy when I'm over.  I haven't been over 198 in many months but I still watch everything. Recently I started running and was expecting my weight to drop.  I was VERY shocked when it did not.  So much so, I did a couple days of food logging to look for trends.  Nothing unusual in the food log AND I was eating less that I thought (2000 calories vs 2400) My guess is, it will take a few years to get comfortable with the new lifestyle.

I'm about 5 months further out than you and had plastics around the same time. My husband gets on my case when he feels I'm being too obsessive and since I've been within 4 lbs. of the same weight for over a year now, I am starting to be able to trust him that I have this under control. Also, I travel about two weeks a month for my job, so I don't have the time to be able to obsess nearly as much as I would like to. The parts of my schedule that I couldn't control forced me to find a better balance. This is how I deal with it: 1. I eat the same breakfast every day. Less obsession because I know the nutritionals, it's easy to travel with, etc. 2. Instead of jumping on the scale every day, I try to go by how my clothes are fitting. I still weigh probably 3x a week, but by breaking the scale addiction, I can be gone from home for a week and not panic about the scale. A few weeks ago I was traveling on business and on Thursday morning when I put a favorite pair of trousers on and could hardly keep them up, I knew that I hadn't eaten nearly enough all week. Sure enough, I got home on Friday and was down 7 lbs. 3. Give yourself a range. I allow myself 128-131. If I'm in that range, I don't worry as much about everything going in my mouth. If I'm at the higher end of the range, I start to restrict things a bit more, be more diligent about the work outs, et****il I'm back down to 128. If you're not successful finding a better balance on your own, please consider counseling to work through some of the obsession issues. Believe me, it can help.