Allow me a pity party here for a minute.

Girl, get up and dust yourself off and give yourself a big ole hug.  I am sure you look wonderful and I am sure others think you look wonderful.  Wouldn't it be nice to be able to see ourselves through the eyes of our friends and loved ones who think we are so great?  Even if it is only for a few minutes just so we can know what we should truly be seeing in ourselves.  I have been through some therapy since my WLS, and part of it concerned body image and self love.  My therapist had me get up first thing in the morning with no makeup and bed head and look in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am and how much I love me.  Whew!  That was a tough assignment, but it did help.  LOL. Hugs coming to you from Mississippi!  Have a great weekend! Melissa  

Thanks so much for the support. I think that's an excellent idea about telling yourself you love yourself. Did he make you start small like "I don't absolutely disgust myself today." ? That would be me...No actually I think I'll be okay but it's sort of a process where you have to actually see how bad it is in a shocking situation before you do anything about it.  When I was young I always thought it was horrible that my gorgeous sister got out of bad situations by batting her big brown eyes and flashing that skinny super model smile...when I had to think myself out. I figured I was the brains and she was the beauty. So I do love myself but it's because over the years I've decided that I'm pretty damn smart. Beauty isn't everything. It's fleeting and will fade but smart goes on for a long long time. And I can pose for a camera okay. That's like a snapshot, moment in time. But the video was about 30 seconds...I said smart things on the video and I was good with that but...Well, you know.  For now I think I'll just try and smile more. That, at the very least, will help..

I had that same experience a couple of weeks ago after my grandson's birthday party. I kept seeing that skin on my arms, that butt hanging low, the wrinkles. But then I remembered that I couldn't bear to watch a video of myself before at all - I have yet to watch my son's wedding video when I had to walk down the aisle with a vase full of sand, and then it got me from the rear climbing steps, all at 340 pounds, I just can't imagine what it looked like. So compared to that, the skin and hanging rump look OK. I think we're a lot more critical of our bodies now, and I'm sure you look a whole lot better than you think you do!

I felt okay about my body image as long as I didn't see myself in more than a snapshot or an occasional glance in a mirror...When i was fat, I didnt' allow mirrors or pictures of me at all...Now I guess I need to get my mind wrapped around it.

My dear friend....hugs....you are not hideous looking. I know that when I went to my lowest 113-120 I thought I looked great, but in reality I looked gaunt. People didn't tell me that because they saw how happy I was, but when I see pics of now and then, the extra pounds really helped me. So perhaps, you need to add 5-6 lbs? Now about the hair. Did you know you can go to a hair salon that deals mostly with negros hair, and get some hair extensions? Yes, I did this j ust recently in fact, while I was waiting for my hair to thicken and grow. It did not hurt to put them in and they did not come out. Had to get them readjusted about every 4-5 weeks. You go to a hair supply place like Sally beauty supply and find real hair for extensions to match your hair (straight, curly, etc.). Ask the girls there to help. Pick a length you would like. I promise you, you will love how your hair looks! My cost was 75$ each time I had my extensions put in. Pick clothes that emphasize the positive. If your arms are saggy, wear short or 3/4 length sleaves. Don' t wear short shorts if you have lots of thighs skin. Do you wear makeup or lipstick? A little blush and lip gloss goes a long way.... So pamper yourself a bit, make changes that you can, and practice loving the new you. We are always more criticle of ourselves, but show the pi c to someone you trust and ask them for their honest answer about how you look...then adjust what you can. Don't give up on yourself, or let the perception of looking hideous overshadow t hings. The truth does set you free.

Gaunt...that's the word.. I think what scared me the most is the skinniness and the gesturing that looked like my GRANDMOTHER>...Yikes. I do need to add 5-6 more pounds and I'm trying to do that. it's not happening too fast but I'm working on it.  I'll look into the hair extensions and I have a recommendation on something to help it be more conditioned and moisturized...maybe it's time to cut my hair again...I did some years ago and let it grow back. it's longer than shoulder length right now and I keep it up cuz it's so thin...Maybe time to trim it back...Maybe this week... I'm working on my own self image..It's harder than i thought but thank you so much for the suggestions.

Aww....Bet you never thought you'd mutter those words..."too skinny"...But did you ever think you'd ever be "so healthy"?  I know I didn't...even with some health problems...I feel so much better than I ever imagined I would again...The mirror is just a reflection of who we really are...behind the reflection is so much more than just a physical body... You are a sweet and awesome lady.  I don't know you well...but you are a pleasure to read everyday!  LOL  Look from the inside out and not the outside in...That's where your real beauty is...and always will be...I've never seen a photo of you and I think you are just lovely... Hugs

You hit the nail on the head with this post Anita.  There are so many people on here that I have never seen their face before, but I think they are just lovely and wonderful.  It is what we project from the inside that makes us likeable and beautiful.  And you are right.  Missus Little is very lovely and offers loads of support to others. 

Have a great weekend!

Melissa

 

Hey sweetie, I have to agree with everyone else, you are being way to hard on yourself.   I'm sure this was not really how you look but how you see yourself.  Darn why do we have to be so hard on ourselves?   Remember where you came from and how healthy you are today.   I agree with Tami on the whole getting to my lowest weight and looking gaunt.  I didn't see it then and thought I was still fat.  My hubby and parents were concerned about me.  Fast forward a year and about 5 extra lbs and I must be honest with myself I look so much better. Hang tough, you are such a wonderful person, I enjoy reading your post.

This is such an awesome place to post concerns and troubles.. I knew I could get some kind words and support here...And good ideas too.  The idea about the hair got me to thinking. I'm going to cut it. That's what reminds me of my grandmother. Her hair was thin and wispy so... off it goes. I'm going to get it cut into a layered medium bob...And then see how I like it. Someone said it would take 10 years off..I dont' need or want to lose 10 years but hey, sacrifices have to be made