Need help and support please advice mainly

I am three years out almost.  I know I could say oh I know what to do, but it is harder to do then say.  I am stressed a lot because me and my husband argue way to much and it gets old.  I have gained two pounds but I have 16 to lose in two months max.  I hopefully will have surgery in June or July and want that weight off before my surgeries plastic surgery that is.  I have three children 4, 3, and 8 mths so I can't just go to the gym all the time and I teach piano lessons on mondays, I also do college fulltime and obviously a stay at home mom.  I am stressed and need to know how to lose this weight.  I constantly feel like I need to eat.  Not to mention I am anemic and get dizzy so I think I need to eat because before that I was low blood sugars because I did not eat enough so now these symptoms are the same.  I tend to throw up more then twice a week due to over eating or eating the wrong things.  YOU WOULD THINK I would say ok not going to do that again, but oh no.  So I guess I am the one just being dumb and it is my fault. So I guess I am ranting over and over again A lot of times I think my husband liked me when I was fat/or obese I should say nicely.  I am skinny now but have excess skin and I hate it, I miss my round face not saying I want to be heavy again but it just sucks right now. need advice and support.

Hi, the long-term maintenance for me has been harder than the early times after WLS.  Just a few things that I'm finding help me. 1) Journaling your food intake in one of the free online programs...... fitday.com, sparkspeople.com. 2)  Coming to the boards to see what and how others cope with the times we are struggling. 3)  www.5daypouchtest.com to regain control.  I have done it twice and will start it again on Monday because I like the food choices I'm making right now. What you are feeling is normal.  Sorry you and your hubby are arguing.  Marriage issues post-op happen, I think our spouses, significant others feel threatened by our weight loss and the attention we get from others.  They felt comfort before in their marriages (most of them anyway) and WE felt insecure in ourselves.  The self-confidence and self-esteem we have now and if you are like me less patience for BS does show and they oftentimes don't know how to deal with it. Communication with your spouse is important, reiterate to him you do love him.......he needs to know. Good luck!

I have to agree with Dana~maintainance is WAY harder than actually losing the weight was after surgery. Its a daily struggle sometimes to make the right choices~its exhausting at times!!! I agree that journaling and coming here helps so much~sometimes its reading what some else is going thru that helps or being able to help someone else sparks something. Just hang in there and remember how far you've come!

LOSING WAS EASIER THEN MAINTANING WHAT I FIND HELPFULL IS FINDING TIME FOR JUST ME EVEN IF IS FOR ONLY A FEW MINS.  A DAY TO  CLEAR MY HEAD AND COMFERT MYSELF

Yep I agree with the others, maintenance is hard. Period. Now that being said, you have to keep yourself and y our health primary. I know as a m om and grandma that I can get lost in "responsibilities". For you its teaching and college, and being a wife and mom. But you cannot lose yourself in all this, or use these as excuses. I am not coming on hard, just being honest with what I tell myself too. I hate exercise, and journalling, but I do it because I have to. I do it for me. So if that means, you schedule piano lessons around working out, walking or whatever then so be it. If that means you miss a lesson, well so be it. Get the picture. If you are happier with yourself it helps with all issues. and when we are unhappy, its easy to go back to our hiding place of food and fat. But its not hiding and its not a happy place is it? So, we are here to cheer you on, and tell you YOU CAN do this and get things back under control. Don't make excuses, look at things honestly and realistically and make changes before you get out of control, make sense? Anyway, you are not alone, we are here for you!!!

The others have said most of what I would say, but I have a couple of things to add. First - don't look at 2 months - look at it one day at a time. I just put myself back at the basics of my doctor's post-op plan so I could lose 5 lbs to get back within my 5 lb window. I took it one day at a time and I drank more water just trying to keep from snacking. One day at a time turned into a week and by the 5th day I actually didn't get hungry before lunch! Second - if you already own, have access to, or have the money to buy, get a Wii. Even the basic game that comes with the system will get you up and moving - boxing kicks my patootie!. The middle of May has the Wii Fit coming out that has a balance and yogo program among other things and will track you BMI. In your house fitness and with kids, especially that young, I can understand that you need to fit it in when you can.  Good luck and don't beat yourself up too much!

Hi, TL... Maybe you should wait a bit to stabilize your anemia, as from what I've heard it seems to cause additional bleeding during surgery.  What I'm feeling is that somewhere along the way, you seemed to have gotten "lost" in the confusion of "everythingelse".  I agree with the others; all sound advice.  Just take care of YOU now.   Ro

TL- All I have to say is freakin holy crap!!!!!!  Lady  you're way too busy.  I read your posts and agree with all the responses however you need to know that the leading cause of weight gain in women is ......hello......STRESS!!!!  Honey, you're supermommy!!!  FT mom, FT school, teaching piano, OMG!!!!  I would like to give you big {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} and tell you - you need to relax, meditate - take some time for yourself.  I am currently raising twins however, recently left a 60-70 hr week job managing a restaurant.  My family suffered as well as I during that process, and I lost myself.  Can you slow down a bit?  Easier said than done right?  As for your DH, I UNDERSTAND B/C MY DH AND i argue a lot.  I know it's because of my weightloss and him feeling insecure - and you're so busy - (like i was with the restaurant) and they feel like we have no time for them!  Come on - give yourself a hand honey, and realize you're not crazy, just really busy.  I am proud of what you're accomplishing - and I don't even know you.  All I can say, is through all the craziness - you can't lose sight of yourself and your health.  If that's being jeopardized, than you need to reevaluate and maybe put some things aside for now until things calm down.  I know as a mom, I always put my kids first but sometimes you need to come 2nd (or even 1/2 way between 1 and 2).  Sorry I am gong on - hugs to you!

Get yourself a food scale!  Weigh your food! Don't make yourself sick.  Over eating can be totally avoided if you keep your entire meal somewhere between 7-10 ounces with 4-6 being lean dense protein and veggies and no white carbs or sugar.  Good luck...your stress is more than you can handle. (you made me tired just reading your hectic schedule)...and it's good to talk about it even if you have to rant!  Rants are good and I know most of us don't mind at all!   Maybe you'd knock off half that stress if you decided to wait on the surgery til things calm down for you. That alone might alleviate much of your immediate worries and let you focus on school and little ones. (And getting you anemia fixed too) Then you and hubby might even find less to argue about without letting all these worriful things feed your moods... Good luck!