Obsessing and Wondering

Michele  ,  Thank  you  so  much  for  posting this  topic  ...  I never  had  support  of oh  or  the  support  group  till  I  was almost  at  goal  ..  I  have  found  that  I  have  to  have  the  support  groups and  OH  to  be  able  to   deal  with  maintance ....   I  know I  need  the  support  more  now  than  ever  its  hard  to  find  others  that  understand  the   WLS   life  style ... Thanks  for  everyone  that  posted  ... Be   encouraged  everyone  !!  Tami

Michele, I'm like Tanny...didn't have any support at all and was doing quite well on my own. I battle 10 lbs up and down in the winter.  Haven't been to a doc...Had no labs done in a few years and felt fine for the most part... I did start some bad habitsthis winter but for the most part, nothing major or uncontrollable.  I personally didn't get any support because the live group support was two hours away. (With the traffic in Wash DC...I just couldn't do it)  Four years ago...This board was quite different and I could not relate to anyone here Pre-Op... For me personally...I feel I have been both blessed and possibly cursed at the same time by not being here or in some kind of support group.  The blessings are that I didn't hear all the horror stories and all the negative outcomes. I was not afraid to have my surgery. I was very confident that I could do what was expected of me in order to succeed. I didn't pay attention to the failures and just assumed that it was random and probably stemmed from unresolved issues of that particular person. I had a smooth ride for 4 years...So for me, I have nothing but positive things to say to people about the surgery. I also try to be as honest without causing someone fear. I truly believe that this surgery saved my life. It did. I'm the type of person that depends on experience...hands on...I have to get most of my information from myself...Trial and error...and being aware of my changes. I learned what was a new "normal" and what might be something to worry about. I rely almost wholy on instinct and intuition when it comes to my aches and pains and problems. I always did. But the difference between maybe me and someone else is that I did as much research on eating/and what to expect as I could. I worked really really hard at learning to cook and eat vitamin packed foods (above and beyond what i learned from my Nut) and live my life as normal as possible and I always ALWAYS knew that the surgery was a "tool"...I honestly don't think that many people understand that. After 18 months I knew I was on my own...When the weight stopped...I knew I had to take over and maintain.  I tried very hard not to push forward and eat more than I could or try to "feel full" ...I can eat...I can really eat if I want to. I learned that this winter.  I also learned that I can handle sugar/ bad carbs if I spread it out and graze. I learned to get bread down with no trouble... The thing about coming here 3 weeks ago...might have actually saved me (even though some of the stories/problems scare the bejesus outta me) I also learned that I was starting some pretty bad habits that I may not have gotten under control alone.  I've done really well. The fear of gaining has always weighed on me...but it was a healthy fear I think... After reading so many weight gain stories...I must admit I am a bit panicked...and it's caused me to become as supportive as I can to as many people with fears, because I have been successful and I have to believe in myself...The more I do....the more I get back control and lose the panic.  I refuse to let it win....I know once I start doubting myself...I give up. (When it comes to weight)  It's the one thing, I just cannot do alone.  I feel a little vulnerable here...but I also feel helpful in sharing success and fears...and somehow between the two...I am finding peace again...That 5DPT was amazing...Gave me back all my confidence.  Now I just have to be patient and less lazy when I slack off... Sorry for making this long...I have so much to say...4 years alone! LOL I'm just hoping that my labs (next week) turn out good...I tend to go into medium to deep depressions from time to time...and I think you'd all see me panic if I have bad results. I am confident that I am still good, but after learning about some of the horrors...I have a little self doubt, because I'm soooo not perfect. I was one that was totally healthy and happy as far as I knew....Didn't really want to hear the bad experiences...now that I have...Oh my...I just want to hand out hugs and reassurance. It breaks my heart to hear people suffer and fear with so little hope and self assurance..and if I can just give someone a little confidence to try harder...I'm there! Hugs, Anita

I do know that if I had NOT had the surgery at my age 61 now, and 470 lbs I would have wondered what was going to happen next. I think with the surgery you really have to way out which would be more serious. The no surgery and the complications or have it and deal with what may come up. I am some depressed because I THINK I AM DONE LOOSING. I AM 16 mos out and I have weighed 298-304 for the past few months. I have severe arthritis and fibromyalgia and exercisiing is very hard. But I am NOT 470+ anymore and no high BP or high thyroid, or high sugars and chlosterol so I guess if i do not loose any more i will be happy with the results... But some days i just wanted that 250lb,goal.