I finally fit in a middle school desk!!

Today has been one heck of a Valentine's Day. I'm 37 years old........single.........and had to go back to middle school today. Eighth grade to be precise. My day actually started out ok. A little after ten I got a phone call from the school. My son, who is 15, does not like school. Has tried to convince me to let him quit........the whole nine yards. Since none of that has worked he came up with another theory. If he was a troublemaker they would suspend him. Well he was messing around in the computer lab tossing his memory stick up in the air and catching it. He misses........probably on purpose.........and it hits the window. Did no harm but the teacher was fed up and sent him to the office. The assistant pricipal called and said they were suspending him until Tuesday. I told him they were actually just giving him what he wanted in the first place and asked if we could come up with something else that would keep him in school. He said he would check into it and call me back. Five minutes later he calls me back and low and behold..........I'm back in 8th grade. They decided the only way they would let him stay was for me to come out to the school and be with him in all his classes for the rest of the day...........and the whole day tomorrow. Needless to say he was far less than thrilled to see me walk in. All manner of promises, wagers, bribes and bargaining have been going on from him trying to keep me from going tomorrow. It's going to be a long night at my house. BUT.........on the bright side.............I found out today that I can fit quite comfortably in a middle school desk now. Something I couldn't even do when I was in middle school myself.

That is cool that you fit in the desk, but sucks that your kid is dealing you a load of s***. I had a similar problem a few years back with one of my boys, at that same age.  After a couple trips to the school and dealing with all that, I finally came up with a solution: "The next time I have to come to school due to your infantile behaviour, I am going to show up in fuzzy slipper, my bathrobe and pink sponge rollers in my hair" My kids (I was a single Mom also) already knew how crazy I was, and he knew this was no idle threat.  I would have embarrassed him beyond recovery!!! LOL Thank god he took the bait, cause I really didn't want to do it, but I WOULD HAVE!!! Good luck to you, Cindy

So glad to hear about fitting in the desk!  I know what you mean.  I remember how terrible it was to go to a restaurant and sit in some booths!

Now, the other subject.  I hope it works out with your son and school.  I am not sure that the school administration is making the right call requiring you to go to classes with your son.  Let us know how that works.  Have they tried finding out just what makes him tick?  What might make him more excited about learning?  A mentor?  Is there a learning problem?  He is too young to give up on school!  I am sure this is very difficult on you as well.  Remember you know your son the best and you are his best advocate!

Until I moved up to high school this year, I taught middle school for 10 years.  One of the most effective behavior control modifications was the parent shadow.  It was usually effective for a couple of weeks with the kid, but more importantly, it showed the teacher that the parent actually cared about their child's behavior in school.  I had a bunch of parents last year (and I had well over 150 students!) that just didn't care if their child misbehaved.  The most common response to a call home was "Why are you calling me?  S/He's not my problem when s/he's in school." which is just plain sad. I commend you for figuring out that your son is better off staying in school than being off on suspension.  Keep in communication with your son's teachers.  I know I prefer email to phone calls, but you'll have plenty of opportunity to find out on your day of observation. And HOORAY for fitting in desks!!!  That was such a trip for me last year!  Now I can sit anywhere. Good luck on your day tomorrow, and you're being a great supportive mom by showing the tough love and following your son around.

YAY!!!  What a fantastic wow moment in what is an otherwise stressful situation. I think it's great that the school are will to look at other options to suspending your son.  Hopefully this will help him realise that you are serious about him staying in school.  Do you know why he wants to quit school?  Maybe there are some other creative ways to 'encourage' him too.  Sometimes we have to think outsie the box to find the right solution. Congrats again on the desk!

Yeah for fitting into the desk, but sorry your son is giving you such a hard time!!!!! I hope that maybe this "punishment" will help him to see the error of his ways. I give the school credit for trying to come up with something other than the usual suspension~especially since that's what he wanted anyway.

Yep...My son was a royal booger from 14-18 years old.  It's so great to see you not giving up on him and playing the tough love part that so many parents find hard to do. You have to and not give up.  I know so many times I almost gave up. Soooo close. They just move from one bad friend to another...and one bad habit to another. If they think for a moment that you will not give up when all their friends begin to fall away and you are still standing there in their corner (not happy, but still there) trying to love them and make them understand...they finally get it. I never thought I'd see my son alive by the time he was 21...unless it was behind bars or in a morgue. My daughter is the complete opposite. Some kids just have to learn EVERY freaking thing the long hard way. And then one day, they just "get it" ...all your persistance and especially the 'tough love" mean something and they thank you and go off to make a life for themselves.  My little rebel turned into my biggest hero. Joined the Army and got engaged to a stunning young woman...It was just over night...Something snapped and he just began to undertand what I had been trying to teach him when I called his friends parents in the middle of the night looking for him (I had no shame...didn't care if I upset anyone)...or when I showed up at parties and dragged his butt out...Or when I took him to court to sign a contract between him and the law to follow curfews and parents rules. Oh yes I did! They call the program "CHINS"  Child In Need of Services...Yep, it got that bad... Don't give up. They eventually come around after you've pulled all the hairs outta "yer" head and ground all your teeth down to nubs trying not to say something you'd truly regret!  LOL   As for being in the eight grade again...That's just awesome!  Did ya ever think in your wildest dreams that first you couldn't fit in a school desk and then...suddenly you could!?  LOL  It's almost one of those double wow moments!  I remember sitting in one of those folding metal lawn chairs and my butt was spilling out the sides and so I had to kinda sit forward a bit so not to get hopelessly stuck and the legs bend and collasped on me...I've been afraid to sit in one since!  LOL You are doing so good! I just sit here nodding "yes yes yes"  Good for you...every time I read your posts lately!  You are a strong determined woman! AND MOM!  Kudos to you! Hugs, Anita

Off Topic ~~~ There is NO WAY Anita, that you look old enough to have a sone that old hehe...looking good girlfriend.