Pre Op Rant I guess

Hi all,    As a pre-op, I have never posted on this board before but I do have a question. I was peeking over at the revision board and saw there are those who had significant regain after their RNY. Some of the procedures were done years ago and the surgery has changed some since then. I am scheduled for my RNY surgery on 7-7-08. Please stop me if I am wrong but I don't see how regaining can be the fault of the RNY itself? I mean only that it is our mentality that keeps us from eating and eating after surgery and the surgery itself merely is a tool to help us control our portions and aid in malabsorbing certain elements of consumption. I know several people who had the RNY surgery and have been very succesful 3, 4 and 5 years out. I also know a few who continue to eat "junk food" and then complain that they are regaining. I do hope that I do not regain but I am trying to tell myself over and over that this is not "magic" and I won't be able to eat unhealthy and expect to maintain a healthy weight. I know it sounds like I am being a b*tch but I want to know what people's personal experiences with regain are. I just don't understand how blaming regain on your procedure is right. It isn't there to magically allow us to eat whatever and whenever we want, right?  I hear people telling me not to even bother having surgery because I am destined to regain so I have taken it upon myself to start working with a behavioral therapist and nutritionist to work on the mental aspect of eating different...not just the physical changes being made to my insides. Thanks and I apologize if this was taken the wrong way

~~~3rd time editing to make this more paletable~~~ Ok ABOVE ALL...you must do the following: *Comply with Dr's orders for life *Sweat your @ss off 5-6 days a week (weight lifting and sweaty cardio) and you WILL have the hard body of your dreams after a little reconstruction. If you skip either one of those steps you'll regain. What you blame it on will be up to you.  Also, If you want to know grad's experience with regain is feel free to browse around the forum. Take a peek. You sound resourceful enough and after all you *are* a nurse in training! So, read through our posts, struggles, challenges, regain stories and learn from them!!! I'm not going to rehash the sorrdid details of my own 15 pound regain. **** happens as a postop and we bounce back. Some of us blame it on our procedure some of us get our butts to the gym and swear off of chips and salsa. Everyone here has a story. Look around and learn.

Ok, now I am replying to myself here, lol. That's ok, I went back and re-read your post and now feel like you really ARE trying to ask a question. I'm just not sure what it is...So, what is the question? How may I help? Are you truly asking us to recount our struggles with regain and asking that we once and for all own up to the fact that in many, many cases it is our own damn fault? Is THAT what you are asking?  Just wondering.

Niddy21, I am so glad to hear that you are preparing yourself for surgery and yes, it does begin between your ears, in your mind that you must decide that this is a lifestyle change for good. You can't play games because at 18 months you will start to gain and it will snowball. I am soon to be 3 yrs. out and I have gained maybe 5 lbs back but it comes right back off, something to do with water weight or not exercising. My husband is one of the ones that eats everything he wants and exercises - he has only gained 10 pounds back, but he is great about walking everyday for an hour. He is 2 yrs. out, so to say the least - it makes me mad as all get out that he can get away with that stuff, but I had to learned to let it go and love him anyway...after 30 yrs - what can you say? He's a keeper. So it is not my business what others do or not do but it is my business that I keep myself straight. That is the choice I made at the beginning and I will stick to it. I don't judge others for what they do, nor do I police what others eat. So just keep up what you are doing and have a great surgery. My surgeon said I could have up to a 20 lbs gain back...and I pray that doesn't happen that is why I am so careful to follow everything that they tell me to do. Take care and let us know how your surgery has gone - God bless.

Great points Deb, oh, and you are very kind to respond to her in such an informative and loving manner. You are awsome, LOL!

Hey ....you are just being honest...and you are smart for asking people who have actually had the surgery this question before you let a doctor cut you open. Absolutely. (Non- WLS people don't know what we go thru...no matter what they think they know about being thin) However, while some of us do gain because we fall off track, some of us have legitimate reasons and complications. (Me...I have no excuse!  LOL) Did you ever buy something that needed to be put together?  You get the instructions and a buncha pieces and parts and a little tool to put it all together?  Some of us are just the kind that will try to put it together without the instructions...Some of us skim the instructions and maybe miss something important...Some of us will follow the rules to a tee and it still doesn't come out perfect...and some of us just ignore it all and succeed anyway at putting it together. It's kinda like that with WLS.  Some say..."it's the easy way out"  As you have seen...it is not the easy way out or everyone would be thin.  So yes, you are right, we have to work hard to maintain. And some of us let temptations win. If you think it is easy, then you wouldn't have asked. So to be brutally honest here. Yes...we are perfectly , normally, humanly flawed.  All of us.  Including you. We make mistakes and we make bad choices and we forget and give up. Not just with weight loss but with life...with marriages...with raising children.  People who tell you not to have the surgery becuase you will fail...is like someone telling you to not fall in love and get married because everyone gets a divorce sooner or later... Sweetie...everything is work...It's a rare person that has the perfect life dropped in their lap. And the crazy thing...some people do EVERY THING right...every thing by the instrutions and use the tool right...but their body (the product itself) just can't handle the changes. It's a risk... And it's your choice.  I'd do it again and again...Even if I gained 100 lbs back and it was my fault or not...I would not give up these last 4 years of good health and happiness that I didn't have being fat and sick.  There ya have it.  The truth. Good luck in your decision.. Anita

There are definitely folks that regain due to: non-compliance, returning to bad behaviors, and/or grazing throughout the day such that calories in exceed calories out. But there is a small percent that have mechanical failures... like staple line disruptions or stretched stomas.  Those folks will get hungry too fast almost as if they haven't even had the surgery.  In those cases, it can be a failure of the surgery rather than the "operator". Sounds like you are going to be going into the surgery very knowledgeable and in the right mindset with good coping skills.  Good for you!! Kathy

Oh and my husband and I have both had a regain in the past year.  We both take full responsibility for it too.  Lack of exercise and not using the tool we have.  Period. It has been a rough year for us (I had 6 surgeries all but 1 for breast cancer) and his dad was hospitialized for two months and then in a nursing home for another month and a half (we both visited daily) and died well before we expected.  Our lives were not our own and we made poor eating choices because it was quick and easy.   We are both doing better now and trying to get back to using the tool as we know we can. Kathy

First, of all, good luck with your upcoming surgery.  You seem well-versed in some of the hot-button issues that come up for longer-term post-ops. You've already answered your own question, I think.  The pouch isn't magic.  It's just a tool to help with behavioral modification.  Anyone who eats around it by grazing and eating "slide" foods that aren't filling, and then doesn't exercise on top of it, will likely regain.  When the patient population is mostly people who overate and underexercised as pre-ops, regain will always be a risk. What fascinates me is the notion that there's a weight loss surgery out there that will let you eat whatever and however much you want and not exercise and still wind up healthy and at a healthy weight.  No such surgery exists; even the most vocal DS advocates don't make that claim (though some seem to come irresponsibly close to promising an endless free lunch). I just hope that those who seek revision really work on pinpointing what a second surgery will and won't achieve (just as you've pinpointed what the RNY will and won't achieve).  I would not be surprised to learn that many revision surgeries are disappointing. Obesity is a b*tch.  Suzy C

I'm not in the least bit offended by your questions/comments! I am struggling w/ a significant weight gain . . . no excuses . . . I got lazy & complacent and let the bad habits, poor choices, & grazing creep ever so slowly back into my lifestyle.  I don't for a minute blame it on the surgery--although as Kathy mentioned above, there are true, legitimate problems that can & do happen w/ some people's procedures, even way post-op. I was so-o-o excellent at following the rules for the first 1 1/2 yrs. post-op and pretty darned good for another year after that.  I thought the good habits & lifestyle I'd developed were (cross-my-fingers) going to be permanent.  Wrong.  It happened very gradually, but the old addictions & bad behaviors got ahold of me.  Very, very hard to "get it back"!  When I get a grip and get back to basics, which I've been trying to do since the holidays, my surgery still works . . . but it's much more difficult than before, and the effects aren't nearly as dramatic!! One thing--very important for maintenance--exercise!!  That is the one thing I have been pretty faithful to.  My past year has not been nearly as consistent--nor the workouts and/or other exercise as comprehensive--but overall, this is one area I have tried very hard to hang in there with.  If it weren't for this, my re-gain would have been worse. I hope the very best to you with your journey!