Just a little rant

I dont understand, I see all these posts about how people transfer their addiction from food to something else. I on the other hand almost 4 years out still can't fight the food addiction. I do ok for a few days and I find myself eating the SAME CRAP! I know that when I had my surgery I was young and I realize now that I wasn't fully prepared, but I can't seem to trick my mind into doing it right "now". I know I am not the only one feeling this way, so for those who fight the food demons, how do you convince yourself that you don't want the crappy food? I don't get it, sometimes I wish I had half the problems with addiction transfer that other people have just so I'd stop eating. I feel so alone most of the time. My boyfriend finally bought a gym membership today so that we can both go, but that usually only lasts 1 trip before I don't go back and with my knee problems it's difficult! it hurts so bad sometimes. I just need someone to kick me in the @$$ and someone to help me through this :(

You are NOT alone there are a lot of us out here.  I know what you mean about food addiction.  I've never used drugs so I really don't know but I've always said that it must be easy to kick drugs compaired to kicking food. You don't need the drugs to live but you still need to eat the food to live.  I do want the 'crappy' food and I do give in at times. That's part of the reason I've re-gained some of my weight.    There are days where the bad foods win then there are others where It doesn't. It just depends which is stonger. Me or the food.  Good luck to all of us who are trying to deal with any addiction.  Robin

To put it simply:  Mind over matter. Really :-) I was 100% fully prepared when I had my surgery.  I was committed and knew all I had to do and was ready to change my eating habits and my life. And I did. For a while. Then I started forgetting... So, I never reached my goal... And I started gaining weight... And I finally woke up one day when I realized I'd allowed myself to be over 200 pounds again... something I had SWORN would NEVER happen! So, since I've always been so good at knowing the theory of what I am supposed to do, I am finally truly and honestly putting it into practice.  It really is about how much you want it.  I fight the temptation every single day, but I have decided to do this the good "one day at a time" way... and I finally feel back in control and even if I didn't lose a pound, THAT is the best thing to come out of my re-commitment. Good luck!  What you need is inside you! Angie

I am a food addict, always have been always will be....For the first two years I did great but this past month I have really been dealing with the issues.  Also the fact that I am an emotional eater does not help.  I am so ready for the change in weather, I think that has really played a big part on my issues this past month.  I go to work when it is dark and I get off when it is dark (and cold).  My kids seem to want to do their own thing in the evenings and my husband works late or out of town during the week.  I come home climb into bed (to get warm) and munch away on food not necessarily junk.  This is the pattern that got me heavy and and I so don't want to go down that path again.  My weight has gone up about 2 lbs and I have been below my goal but I want it down again.   Although I don't understand the addictions to drugs and alchohol, I know those are things you don't have to have in the house but I have to have food in my house, he** I have to have food to survive.  I really think food addictions are the worst, funny thing they are the most not understood addictions. Good luck to you and all that have this addiction, I know it is so hard to deal with.

Hi... I love food too. But I think I had to love myself more and not be so selfish. When the same behavior doesn't work, over and over again...it's not going to change.  Knowing this, I decided that if I was going to let someone cut me open and rearrange my anatomy...then I had to rearrange my eating. The first thing I did was accept one day at a time...and started each one like a new sun rise starts each day...Gentle and lovely at first and scorching by mid day...but at the end of the day, no matter what kind of day it was...I forgave myself and rested...and like the sun set and ready to rise to a new day...No looking back... Second thing I did was go to the book stores and look in the recipe book section...I went thru a buncha books...on several trips...Borders has soft leather chairs where you can just sit and read and I did!  I decided to learn how to cook gourmet healthy meals. I learned several years ago that if you put love into everything you do...you cannot fail...I apply that mentality to everything i set out to do....and this applied to cooking too.  It starts at the grocery store picking nice fresh and healthy foods...Just looking at the veggies and fruits and all the natural foods on this earth was far more exciting to me that the freezer section and the cardboard boxes and foil wrapped goodies.   So, I mixed my knowledge of what I needed to eat (mostly protein) and I discovered what things have proteins and from there looked for recipes. I make the most amazing bean soups. I substitute pastas with beans or cauliflower. If I make italian sausage , and it calls for a side of garlic buttered pasta...I steam cauliflower and make the garlic and butter sauce for it.  It's little changes that make a huge difference.  If I had too many carbs for a day I might wrap ham and cheese around a giant pickle for a large crunchy lunch...It's as filling as a sandwich with bread and chips....and just as crunchy...Get creative...Cooking doesn't have to take hours...either...You can make crock pot meals that you just add water ingredients and leave for 8 hours ...come home and dinner is done!   So, think about the bad foods you love and ask yourself, does this food love me back?  If the answer is no...FIND something to replace it.  I just made a dip with Fage Greek Yogurt and Knorrs Dried veggie soup mix...Then I got some nice carrots for the crunch...better than chips and dip. Yep...I put it in a nice bowl even though it came in it's own little plastic cup...and I set it out for everyone to dip (so I didn't eat it all myself)  LOL  I love my food and my food loves me! LOL Try it! Old habits die hard...I know.   Hope I gave you some cool ideas...if nothing else...Here is a quote for you to think about. (I'm a quote fanatic) Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.  ~James Baldwin So that's my two cent's. :::shrugs::: OH...and the gym membership is better than I am doing for exercise!  Good for you!   Big bear hugs! Anita

Wow, do I understand how you feel!!!!! I am a food addict and an emotional eater and some days are SO damn hard! You got some great response already and I have gained so much from reading them. Food is still my friend~some days I have the greatest control over it and other days I have no control at all. Like you, I can do some well for like 2 weeks and then BAM! For no reason I will eat like crap for a week and blow all the hard work that I did in those 2 weeks before. I don't know why I do it~it makes me crazy!  I was 36 when I had surgery and I was well prepared, but I honestly didn't realize until about 2yrs post op that I needed therapy. It has helped some, but I still struggle with the same demons that I did before surgery. Some days I win and other days I lose~so far I'm just lucky that most days I win! I do wonder in the back of my mind if that will one day change and I will begin to gain weight back and not be able to do anything about it. I know I have free will and have choices to make, but it scares the hell out of me that I might wake up one day and not have the energy or desire to fight the good fight anymore. So, yes, I understand and you're NOT alone!!!!!! The worst part with food addiction is that we NEEd food to live, so we can't just "quite cold turkey" or "give it up for good". We have to eat to live, unlike cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, etc. We can't put it down and walk away from it forever. It will always be a part of our daily lives and we need to figure out what will work for us to keep control over it.  HUGS!!!!!

Thanks to everyone for the great responses. I know that this is something I have to fight and something that I am going to fight to win. It's hard living in a home with other obese people who do not understand what I have done to my body and choose not to care, I have taken over the grocery shopping but I am still forced to buy "their" food. Even my boyfriend who had DS a year before I had my surgery eats the same crap. Donuts, cookies, and he loves fried food :( it makes me angry to see that he can eat this and not gain anything, but when I fall into eating it to, I gain more than I could imagine. I try wheat tortillas instead of bread and have come up with some really awesome recipes for lunches and what not, but like everyone else I am an emotional eater, and my emotions seem to get the best of me right now. My family is going through a very hard time and there is nothing I can do to help, because financially I do not have it. Alot of my emotions lately have been my moms cancer, my mom and siblings being evicted from their home (because of an untrusty rental company) they now live in a 5th wheel, which isn't big enough for 3 adults and 3 kids and my step dad was laid off yesterday. My mom can't catch a break and I have always been the one tohelp her, but I am not in a position to do so. I take on her problems and make them my own. I have realized I am an emotional eater but I dont know how to get past that. Sorry for the whining but it seems this is the only place I can talk and get support. Thanks everyone

Life is certainly not easy for you right now, I can see that. It's not normal that it's easy for anyone, really. You should have seen us some years ago. We were reminded of it just today when the power went out for four hours. We had to make dinner and keep the house warm without power and it was rainy and cold outside. I was telling my son about when we had trouble doing this when we first bought the property. we had propane only. We would heat up water on the stove and bathe the girls (age 4 and 13) in a large pot on the kitchen floor. We used the kitchen stove for heat too. I took the iron and cut the cord off of it and heated that on the stove to iron my clothes and did the same to my step daughters curling iron for her hair..That went on for 15 months like that before we got power and a septic tank (no toilet either). Yes, we lived like the 1800's all over again but we lived through it. Those girls are 23 and 32 now. I'm surprised they remember it so fondly but we do too. When life is the hardest some of our best memories come from it.  That being said, you have to take care of yourself first because so many people count on you for help. You can do this and live through it and come out a better person "on the other side."

So, after surgery and losing down to about 152, I bounced to about 158... and became a bulimic.  I fight the same five pounds all the time... by throwing up or by eating healthily.  It is the most insane thing on earth.  I look in the mirror and think about what an idiot I have to be at all times.  So I got a counselor and it's been a while since the behavior, but it is a constant and hellacious battle against a neverending demon to keep that down.  I put all my emotional baggage on the eating disorder instead of putting it on myself.  I got this book and I know you're thinking, what the heck good is some dumb book going to do for me?  I mean, we've all read books, right!? I've read like a million books too.  But this one really was different for me because it is all about how we put all our emotional crap on the food.  We keep eating and stuffing the way we're feeling on the food because if we just eat we don't have to deal with the other stuff going on in our lives, no matter what that junk is.  The book is called the Feeding the Hungry Heart by Geneen Roth and it is not a diet book, so I don't want to make you think that.  I'm not trying to sell you a book though.  I'm just saying it's really helping me and I feel like I know where you are coming from b/c I am definitely a binge eater.