How Do I Put This? OH, I Know, I Messed Up!

I am sorry you are dealing with family matters that are beyond your control......try to remember that.....as for dealing with food and emotions, I believe the majority of us have this same problem......I am a terrible night time snacker (boredom eater), a continuous work in progress. How do you control it........I believe being aware of the situation (which you are) and then making yourself visit the porcelain thrown (sorry) are factors that will help you remember NOT to pursue comfort from food.  There will be good times when yo can say no I won't do that, then other times you will seek the food.....it doesn't make you a failure or a bad person......it makes you human. Again I am sorry and pray that the family issues get better soon.

Thank you so much cajungirl.    I'm grateful I'm aware this could spiral down a slipperly slope and I'm just not going to stand for it.  I never want to live like that again (if you could barely call it living).  I was given a gift (this surgery) and I need to respect and honor it. THanks for your condolences. *hugs*

Hello, First I want to congratulate you on a job well done so far!  Great job!  I had a very traumatic year last year and got very familier wit 2 psych wards (100 miles apart) 4 emergancy rooms and 3 family members attempted suicides,  a sister almost murdered in a domestic abuse situation which resulted in reconstructive plastic surgery and another sisters battle with a methamphetimine addiction.  I have the wonderful duty in my family to be the point guard and the STRONG one.  Did I handle it well?  Well I didn't end up in the psych ward but I did put on an additional 30 pounds in that year.  It was a hard year but I made it.  Everyone in my family is better today and we are slowly healing from all that trauma.  I am really trying to gain control of my life and not be the super hero of the family.  It is just too stressful.  I wish that I would have reached out for help while all the trauma was going on and perhaps I would have had an easier time.  I am glad that you are reaching out here and you will get a lot of support!  Don't beat yourself up for yesterday.  Today is a new day and you already recognize what you did and that you don't want to do it again and that is a great start.  My thoughts are with you.  Keep on keeping on!

I'm so sorry you had such a horrific time.  :(   *HUGS* If you don't mind, I'd like to stop in and see how you all are doing too!  In all honestly, with everything going on,  I've been very sporatic on the internet since December.  I need to catch up! Thank you again , so very much, for your support and sharing your story.

Thats what we are here for!  Hugs back atcha!

I am so sorry you're having such a tough time right now. I can totally relate to those out of control feelings as I am an emotional eater too. I have been in the exact same spot you were in and its terrible to do that to yourself, it doesn't help anything and kind of makes things even worse, BUT you live and you learn! Don't beat yourself for making a mistake~pick yourself up, dust off and try to do better. I have worked on this thru therapy and have made great strides~although I know at any time I could very easily revert back to my old behaviors. I don't think your therapist will be angry with you~I think that's a good place to turn for support and guidance. My best advice is to forgive yourself and move on. Remember that we are always here to support you or to just listen. Good Luck to You!!!

Thank you, Tracy.  Your heartfelt post meant a great deal to me.  You are right, I have to forgive myself or the cycle will continue.  Good luck to you as well!

Thank you for putting yourself out there . . . I know it is so-o-o hard to make yourself vulnerable to an "audience" of people you don't really know! You asked what we do when going through a serious, difficult period of  time--how to cope without using food as a pacifier, "anesthesia", etc.  This is so very hard for us--in a way that people who have never been obese can't comprehend!  I am 3 1/2 yrs. post-op and have not had any cir****tances that are UNUSUALLY stressful, but I still struggle very much with "normal life" stresses and emotions--and how they draw me right to the "comfort food"!  Even though I had read and heard about "long-term life after wls," I really couldn't imagine that it would be this hard.  I lost the weight pretty easily and maintained comfortably for about a year after losing the weight,  I have  struggled big-time with maintaining since then.  I believe I am back on track now and am working hard to lose some re-gained weight, but I know I will forever battle my food addiction. So even though I (fortunately) am not battling any MAJOR issues, I still feel & share your concern, fear, and uncertainty about how to live and cope with emotions and cir****tances!  I know that everyone, even "normal" people, use food inappropriately at times, so of course, so will we; but unlike "normal" people, we have to be ever-conscious of the danger of doing that! I know the weather up there is horrible; one of our daughters lives up in Chicago (Lincoln Park).  It's really nasty down here in south-central IL too!  Snowing like crazy right now at 12:15 a.m. and supposed to continue through the night/morning. Keep coming back to post with us Grads! Jo

Thank you so much, Jo.  I was scared I would get flamed to high heaven.  I KNEW what I did was wrong, but I was so distraught at the time I didn't care.  Becoming too familiar with the bathroom for five hours I think is punishment enough. This is an addiction, and my mom is heavy. my  maternal grandma was heavy , my aunts on my father's side battle weight, too.  Coming here has helped so much today and I hope to be as much help to you all as you've been to me today. *HUGS* Congratulations to you for your wonderful success! :)

My heart goes out to all of you...and to myself too. I had a particularly crappy day at work today--but reading some of these posts makes me realize it isn't that bad. I wish I could hone in on some strategies that really work well for me, when I feel the need to nurture myself. Sometimes I think it's stuff like taking a hot bath, smelling good stuff (I'm really olfactory--I know that's kinda weird), taking the time to do something I enjoy--sewing, reading a good magazine--or better a good book, watching one of the millions of movies that are waiting for me, etc etc... Other times I think it's more substanitive stuff--like meditating, trying to find a spiritual center for myself--doing the "real" work--whatever that means, etc. Then it occurs to me that just being here on this site and reaching out for help when I need it--and being touched by others' stories and struggles IS the work...do you know what I mean??? Thank you all for your kindness to me and each other, and for your rawness and honesty. Today it has nurtured my soul--in a way I couldn't do myself. Peace Kim