I need to go back to work

I'm 3 1/2 years out.  I weigh between 158 and 162.... I want to get down to 145 still.  I am flabby... just flabby... I don't exercise... I eat too much.  I'm complaining... I'm basically a big pile of crap and I'm bad at everything I do.... and I"m obsessing because I'm trying to get off anxiety meds.... ugh... so I can get pregnant and get even more FAT!!!! I took a year off work to finish school... so now I have my Bachelor's degree.  Other people take as long as I took to finish school... but they are called doctors.  I, on the other hand, am only qualified to work the fry machine at a Burger King apparently.  After 10 years of supporting global executives as an assistant, I am apparently not even good enough to do that anymore. So, I'm stressed out and thinking, do I just drive off a bridge or what?  What is the answer to life's persistent question?  What do I do with my life now?  My husband seems to think life is just dandy.  However, he is totally in shape and gainfully employed.  I have lobs of spare fat hanging from my stomach, thighs and buttocks.... my boobs hang like rocks in tube socks... and I'm only 30 years old.  I feel about 65.  Do I just resign myself to feeling like crap? OK.... I've had it for now.  No more internet job searching today.  I give up for the balance of the day.  Time to read a book or something.  I'm officially depressed.  Sorry if I brought anyone else down with me. Blah, Rachel

You made me laugh and it certainly wasn't at your expense... It was that you have your whole life ahead of you ( newly married, only 30 yrs. old, ready for motherhood) and I was feeling sorry for myself until I saw that I have alot of my own whoa's me.  I'm almost 3 years out and still have 15 lbs to get to my goal, I will be 42 years old in a couple of months and I still like to eat and always feel too tired to exercise. Don't worry about the job thing, it will happen and it may change many times. I went to college to be a police officer, ended up as a counselor for domestic violence victims and now I'm a sales account executive for a foodbroker.  When one door closes another one opens.   There will be no jumping off any bridges. I'm not loving my saggy skin either but I especially hate that my once 36 C's are now a small 34 AA which look like a walnut  in a child's size tube sock. My 13 year old daughter and her 2 size larger cup thinks this is hilarious and points it out often.  Perhaps a yoga class?  Something that brings you peace of mind and maybe some inner strength?  I've never tried the class myself, always too tired or too busy, or ........ I do find journalling helps but I usually only make it through the first half of the day.    I wish you all the best and I hope the blahs leave you soon.

Oh, Rachel!!!!!!! I am so PROUD of you!   Let's take one thing at a time and LOOK at it -- objectively! You're 3.5 years out from surgery and within 13 pounds of your goal. === If you never reach your NUMBER goal, you've reached goal anyway.  I'm certain you had goals of being healthy and desires to be able to sit in a chair that you don't have to worry will break, to be more mobile, to no longer shop in Women's clothing, etc.  You've accomplished ALL of those things!   According to WLS statistics, you are HUGE success as the numbers are 60-70% of excess weight is lost.  You have far exceeded that!!!! A pile of crap?  I doubt it!!!  I'm certain that you are way too hard on yourself!!!!!   You most certainly can't be bad at everything you do -- you graduated from college and have a gorgeous husband AND you and your husband are looking forward into the future to do something soon to expand on your love for one another = have a baby (yahooooo), which I will address now more specifically.  It took you longer to obtain your undergraduate agree than most?  Would you like that stats of women who actually graduate from college?  I can look it up if you request but I can assure you that it is a much lower percentage than you expect.  I and like you in that I have enough college credit to hold a Ph.D. and we have NOTHING.  No, we have TONS.  We had to opportunity to have experiences that billions of people do not.  We may not have the certificate we wanted as soon as we wanted, per say, but we have the experience and the knowledge!!!!!!  No one can take that away from either one of us!!!!  And, you're ahead of me!  :-D   LOL A baby -- Erma Bombeck said that she had wished she understood what it meant to be pregnant  -- that is was a chance to assist God is a wonderful miracle!   You spend 10 years supporting global executives as their assistant!  WOW!  You must have some wonderful memories and stories to tell!  What a wonderful and blessed experience!! Skin == better some extra skin than to weight 250 + with all the humiliation involved?  Perhaps there will be a time in the future where you are willing and able to proceed with elective surgery.  For now, try to see all of those things as a badge of honor of sorts.  You were extremely courageous and for that alone you are to be commended!!!! You're only 30 years old.  That's a GOOD thing!!!!  You haven't lived even half of your life!!!! To address all of these positive things that you see as negative, I suggest you visit with a therapist.  If you're in therapy, it's not working with the person you see or I suspect you would not feel that way.   You are a highly brave person.  It must be difficult to tell these feelings to anyone!  I commend you for that!   Are you taking your vitamins?  Are your thyroid levels in check?  Your TSH should be under 3.0 (the labs haven't caught up and still read 5.00 as acceptable).  If your TSH is between 2.0 and 3.0 and you have symptoms of hypothyroidism, the disease should be suspect and you should be considered for treatment.  Perhaps, it would be wise to have a visit with your PCP quickly!!! If you have experienced these feelings of hopelessness, desperation, sadness for more than two weeks, please seek the advice of a mental healthcare provider.  You may have a chemical imbalance.  There are MANY medications that can help depression and anxiety and are considered harmful to a fetus!!!    Please don't drive your car off a bridge!  And, as hard as it may be, you should tell your physicians that you are having these thought as certain medications and/or chemical imbalances can produce "odd thoughts" that you've not had previously. I have information on my profile regarding both hypothyroidism and depression along with links to take you to informative reading. I hope that my note helps you somehow.  You are a beautiful woman.  You're just wanting to BLOOM a bit more than the *universe* is providing or allowing for now but your time will come at just the right hour/moment!  If you'd like to email further, you are more than welcome to PM me! I wish you all the best!!!!

Hello,  just read your post and had to write... YOUR BEAUTIFUL, GOT A HUSBAND WHO OBVIOUSLY LOVES AND ADORES YOU AND YOU GOT A BACHELOR'S DEGREE,,,you can do alything you set your mind to, not many of us would or could have made it that far in school.. Sometimes we see ourselfs different then the ones who loves us do.. Yes i feel fat alot, got the skin and rolls also, boobs now different sizes,  But have a husband who loves it all Or at least says he does wich makes me feel beautiful..   I never got to goal and used to feel like a failure, but I no that i am not it is all in my head..   Please take a step back and write down and focus on all the good you have done, you want to be a mommy, do you realy want a corporate job, where you will hardly have the time to mother and wife?? I put my job on hold for now to focus on my husband and 2 wonderful little boys, the job can wait (i work 2 full days a week) and people give me grief that i am not working a corp. 9-5 6 day a week job.. I wouldnt trade this for the world,,  Please be kinder to yourself, stop listining to the bad thoughts in your head and start telling yourself the positive things. I think your BEAUTIFUL just from seeing your picture.. just a side note, i started walkiing again and looking around at the beauty outside, and it helps me to stop feeling like crap.. take care, smile and today will be a new day..