Did anyone see the Rachel Ray show this morning?

I had posted when the show first came on. They had a lady on that had WLS in 2003, has lost 200 pounds and in the meantime lost all her freinds and family. The story is the Rachels website and it was very interesting. I think when we are going through all the changes we dont realize sometimes how its affecting other people. I know from my experience that I was consumed with my losing weight, how I looked, dropping sizes, just ask my husband. He is of course the closest person to me and had to hear about it constantly, not that he didnt care, but I didnt realize that I was being like that. This morning when we were watching the program he was kinda pointing at me like, I had been doing alot of the same things this women did. Although I hadnt told anyone I was having surgery until about 3 months after ( besides my husband ) thats why he took the brunt of it. This lady was bragging to her freinds and family about her weight loss and most of them were also overweight, and they eventually pulled away from her.I know that I have a couple freinds that are overweight that I dont hear from anymore, maybe I need to call them. Sometimes we dont realize that others feeling are hurt and they are affraid to say something, or that they are jealous. What do you think?Debra

I did not see the show, but I've heard about simliar situations.  A good friend of mine paid me a great compliment a few months ago, and I don't know if she realizes just how much it meant to me.  What she said was that she was so happy that I hadn't become "preachy and self-righteous" like other people she knows that have finally made some positive change in their lives that was much needed (think losing weight, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc.).   I think some folks are well-meaning, but they don't realize how they are coming off to other people.  Although I've been successful with my WLS journey, I lived through many failures to get to the point of having surgery to lose weight.  Who am I to tell others what to do, how to live, what to change?  We all have to come to our own decisions in our own time frame, and it's not my place to tell someone what to do, or brag on my successes.   As for contacting your old friends, I say pick up the phone and call them both.  Often there are misperceptions that can easily be remedied with a well-meaning "I'm sorry we haven't talked in a while; let's catch up..." Kellie

Its on here in half an hour (3pm) and I am going to watch it and dvr it in case I need to show dh. I am very interested in this topic as I went thru a very difficult time with a few people~especially my sil. She is not obese, but probably a size 14, always talking about how hard she works out and eats right, constantly brings up weight related things which is and never was me. Heck, I just wanted to blend in with the walls at 328lbs, not talk about weight! Even after I began losing I was very careful with her~Most people do walk around on eggshells around her anyway b/c she is self proclaimed as "very sensitive"~I wish I could use that excuse just once! I'm sure I did change maybe b/c I got more of a backbone, although I was never quiet about my opinions, but maybe I just got way more vocal, who knows?? Anyway, as soon as I got into a smaller pants size than her she was terrible to me, started talking about me to everyone, claiming to me that everyone was talking about me meanly behind my back, etc. It hurt~she hurt me and it sucks that I have to put up with her to some extent b/c our kids go to the same school and I have to see her at family events. Our relationship is finally somewhat on the mend after about 1.5yrs of me not speaking to her, but I'm deep down still hurt. She has never to this day apologized for how she treated me~an apology would sure go a long way to easing my personal pain. Maybe some day she'll get it, but that's doubtful. I'm sure she would tell you how much I changed, how my personality changed, blah blah blah. I'm self confident now, I like myself now, I feel good about myself most days now~if that's bad than I'm sorry, but I am now healthier and happier and I refuse to let anyone take that away from me!

Tracy, YOU GO GIRL> I am very proud of myself also and alot more confident than before. Im not sure if I bragged or went on and on about my weight loss,  my husband says I did,I really cant remember. If I did, I didnt mean to. Although I am very proud of what I have done for my self. Tracy I think you are awesome, I always respect your responses to my post and look at you as an inspiration as a WLS grad. I hope you get to see the show and hope others do also. Debra

Debra, thank you so  much for your kind words! I watched the show (actually my 2 sons ages 7 and 10 watched it with me, LOL) and I thought it was a good segment. I do believe that surgeons should have a stronger focus on therapy before and after surgery~not just for getting approved for surgery, but in preparation for the many changes that will take place after surgery. I sure wish I wouldn't have waited until 2yrs post op to see my therapist! I too asked my husband if I bragged or brought it up too much with others (of course I talked his ear off about it, LOL). He said no, the opposite was true for me~I rarely talked about it and if someone complimented me I would shut down, get embarassed, quickly change the subject, etc. I am fine talking about it with other wls'ers or with someone that wants info about wls though. Anyway, thanks for posting about that yesterday b/c otherwise I never would have seen it and I think I gained some valuable information from watching it!

It's coming on here in a few minutes, so I'll watch it.  Instead of cleaning the house, as I should be doing, lol. My friends have all been so wonderful and supportive as I was going through the losing phase, but I think they are pretty burnt out on hearing anything about it now.  If I am struggling with emotional eating, as I am right now, I don't think they want to hear about it.  My coworkers have had it tough, as I work in a small store.  Many times in the last couple of years someone would come through the door who hadn't seen me since I've lost weight.  The old acquaintance would want to know my story, and I have always been very honest and forthright about how I achieved my weight loss.  I'm sure my coworkers don't want to hear the story one more time.  Same thing with my family when we are out in public, and run into someone.  For example, when my oldest daughter was home for the holidays, she had a dentist appt.  The dentist made several very positive comments about how good I looked, and my daughter is just tired of hearing it.  I don't know how to prevent these situations for them. I am one who processes my feelings by talking with my friends, and I have worried that they think I think too much of myself.  I am very proud of the hard work I have done, and what I have accomplished, but I hope I have learned to not talk about it too much.  I hope anyway. Debra M.

I've come a long way baby and if my friends can't handle my weight loss then they weren't friends anyway. I do not talk about my WLS (new in town) so no one knows, but I do run into folks who knew me from other town and they make comments and I feel embarrressed. But.. I did loose a 20+ year friend because I had WLS.  She had her jaw wired shut. :(