cross post from main board: so then why do i feel like such a little piggie??

ok, you guys remember me posting earlier this week/last week about how i've lost so much and eat constantly yet i continue to lose? well i decided last night that i was going to cut back on the snacks until i could completely eliminate them and i was going to concentrate on the things i "need" again instead of straying off course and possibly sabotaging myself in the long run. i know y'all remember seeing my pics from yesterday (on the main board) but i'll post them here again because the big question is, "WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SUCH A LITTLE PIGGIE????"


so, this is what i've eaten so far today:

1/4 cup kraft shredded cheddar cheese
24 crackers (one serving) club puffed multi-grain crackers
1 container dannon activia light peach yogurt w/fibersure added in
3 hershey's kisses
4 peanut m&m's
12 oz. can diet dr. pepper


and this is what i still have left to eat for today:

bumble bee brand bbq chicken breast
3 oz. tuna w/fibersure added in
strawberry flavored 50 gram slam
1 cup chef's salad
12 oz. milo's splenda tea
2 16 oz. bottles of water


and that makes my intake look like this for the day:

825 calories
19g fat (21%)
58g carbs (24%)
110g protein (55%)
20g fiber
72 oz. fluids



according to everything i've been taught, this is absolutely PERFECT (minus the m&m's, hershey's kisses and the diet dr. pepper of course...) so why, if i'm only eating these things today and if it's RIGHT and if i look like THIS... WHY do i feel like such an effing PIG!!!!!

so why, if i'm only eating these things today and if it's RIGHT and if i look like THIS... WHY do i feel like such an effing PIG!!!!!
Because sometimes the "fat" thinking never goes away inside of us.  I still see all the imperfections that I have (cellulite, some saggy skin etc.) and feel like a big fattie quite often.  I've been to therapy, both before and since surgery and it is still there.  I still on occasion head toward the womens section, I order jewelery with the "large" bracelet because my wrist is still big in my mind.   I don't know what else to tell you.  It is a continuous conscious effort for me to see myself thin even after all this time.  It happens to many of us.

 

Traci

303/131

Just a question.. ya know we have chatted before on here.. why are you keeping your cals at 800 something?  I just had my basal metabolic rate tested and I burn 1681 calories just sitting still and breathing.. no reason you should be this low if you are below goal?  Did someone advise you of this or are you still trying to lose?  You have done great and to answer you question we will always have fat eyes and fat brains.. we came from obesity but in time it does get better.  My husband is 6 years postop and his brain caught up with his body at about 3 years postop.  Hang in there girlie.

no it's really mostly because my pouch is so tiny and it's difficult for me to get very much in at a time and well, then i just get bored with eating. i guess i feel "piggish" because i'm constantly eating and eating and eating, not really because of how i look but i DO still have "fat eyes" for myself most days. but the reason my cals are so low is because i simply can't get very much in so i guess my question really should be, how do i get MORE CALORIES in me without messing things up and without having to add more actual FOOD (since i don't have the capacity****rtainly don't want to lose any more! BUT, i also don't want to GAIN any weight either. (but i wouldn't cry too much if i happened to put back on up to 15 pounds. anything more than that and i'd flip out though.) edited to add: when they did my testing at my one year post-op appointment they said my bmr was 1224 so somehow i need to get in AT LEAST 1224 calories a day, and that's with me being completely sedentary.

Try adding nuts which are high caloric and not so filling and lots of cals.. good fats.  Also peanut butter, soy butter, drink milk.. shakes.. u can get your cals in.. I just chatted with Jeremy Gentles today from OH (hes the fitness Guru expert on here) and we talked about people only consuming 800 calories at over a year postop.. it just isn't good, you will lose too much muscle mass that your body needs, not to mention the nutritional deficiencies that goes a long with it.  I am eating between 1200-1600 a day right now and maintaining just fine.. I understand its hard for u to eat that much but then u are gonna have to go to the "pouch rules for dummies" and there is a section that talks about those that loose too much.. u have to start breaking the rules.. drinking with  meals, snacking between meals.. etc.. I know u don't want to do that but u can't continue on 800 calories, it isn't good for you.. try nuts, peanut butter, cheese, milk, shakes.. good foods yet high calorie.

actually, i do! i usually eat a couple peanut butter crackers a day (just didn't yesterday) or else i'll have some almonds (LOVES those things!), i have a serving of sharp cheddar cheese nearly every day, i don't really drink milk too much because i'm somewhat lactose intolerant at times but i do have a container of dannon activia light yogurt a day so that i'm still getting some "milk" in. oh, and my protein shakes are the 50 gram slams from gnc so that's a milk based protein as well. and lols, i've been breaking the rules from about 3 months out. i started drinking sodas at 3 months out because i was HOPING to stretch my pouch out so that i'd be able to eat more at a time. no such luck. (not yet anyway.) and i really don't believe that i ever actually stopped drinking with my meals. i went from liquids all the way up through the phases and was drinking something all the time to help wa**** down. i started making it a POINT to drink with meals though about 6 months ago, hoping i could actually wash the food OUT of my pouch quicker so that i'd be able to eat again sooner but it really doesn't seem to make a difference at this point. as far as snacking between meals, i really don't have "meals". since it's so difficult for me to get very much in at a time i can't very well sit down and say "i'm going to eat for the next 30 minutes and then that's my meal. that's it, i'm done, no more food until 2 hours later." what i have to do is portion out everything that i need for the entire day first thing in the morning or the night before and make sure that everything balances and that i'm not getting too much of one thing or not enough of another thing. then when i get to work i start eating. and i eat. and eat. and eat... until everything i brought to work with me is gone. and that takes all day. some days i even end up taking one or more things home with me to finish. (some days i am not able to finish but i try very hard EVERY day because i know how important it is.) BUT, even though i don't have any between meal time to snack, i DO snack. i plan the snacks in with everything else and some days i get to them, some days not. i worked really hard yesterday though and ended the day getting in 1028 calories 31g fat (27%) 81g carbs (27%) 118g protein (46%) so, it wasn't the 1224 calories that my bmr says i need BUT, it's certainly an improvement on the 825 or whatever that i had originally planned for. but again, it took an entire day of constant eating in order to get all that into me. (i even had to add in a half a bag of potato chips and some cake to get it that high!) i don't like to have to get those extra calories from "junk" though. i mean yeah, we all DO need a certain amount of fat and carbs and sugar, etc and overall i was within my goal ranges on everything for yesterday ~ even WITH the junk. idk, i just kinda feel like i'm maybe doing something wrong here and i'm not quite sure what the solution is. i'm going to keep trying and i'm going to keep asking for suggestions whenever i run out of ideas and hopefully there's an answer out there for me. i guess it's just a matter of trying different things until i figure out what works.

I wish i had your problem, or so i think...but probably would be just as worried. Ways i suggest getting in calories... Beef has more calories, whole grain carbs, they also make you crave more carbs, The trick is more calories, while still choosing healthy foods. Grazing may not be such a bad thing for you. Nuts, are good calorie dense as is cheese. Both which don't overfill the pouch. Good luck, I can see why you don't want to get any thinner. It's not just about size, but muscle and bone density and health in general. How tall are you?

i'm exactly 5'0" so at 108, my bmi is still "healthy" which is a good thing. and i'd like to keep it that way, lols!

Hang in there and keep trying to get in more cals the healthy way.. you can do it. If I can be so blunt.. Im on the thinner side myself wearing size 4's (i am pretty muscular) and weigh 134.  I wear small/medium tops and I am thin enough.. 130 is my OH sheeeet weight.  If you were to ask me.. you are there and try very hard to maintain from here.. I am not just saying that.. I seriously think you don't need to go an ounce thinner.  Good luck.

oh i toooootally agree! thank you, i'm gonna keep trying, lols