Update on the "date" and "body" issue..

Okay, so I took the advice I was given on these boards regarding my issue with my own screwed up body image and the new guy I am seeing. I sat down and talked with him..as things are moving very fast for both of us and that "bedroom" time is coming up quickly. He is definitely a winner because he said "if that is the only reason you've been holding back..then you have nothing to worry about." We are going on our 5th date tonight (keep in mind, we started dating last Saturday) and I'm giong to his house this time. Along with the "body image" talk, we also discussed where all of this was heading. I know that the 4th date is not typically the "where is this going" chat..but the whole "upcoming coitus" kinda led to it. I told him that I really liked him and did not want to screw anything up by having sex with him too soon and wanted it to be more of an emotional connection than just physical. I said if we are going to just hang out together and remain friends..thats fine too, but if thats the case then I'd like to cool things down a bit.  Well, I did not hear from him all day yesterday (that was Wednesday night) and I kinda thought I blew it, but was relieved too that I found this out early on so I don't get too hurt.. Anyhow, I got an email from him today, and he has asked me out on date 5...which I am taking to mean that he's on the same page..and is heading in the same direction. :) And he invited me to his house this time... so, just had to share with you all, and wanted to also thank you for the wonderful emails and support I got with my post yesterday. Thank you all. This is truly the greatest board.  Huge Hugs to you all -  Jess

Hi, I really should put a pic up.. anyways, I TOTALLY understand where you're coming from because the skin issue got me too!  When I was 'attractive" for the first time, guys started to ask me out, etc.  I was not self conscious about it, only because I figured it this way:  if a guy cannot understand where I came from, or if he is too immature to understand me, then he is not worth it.  That is how I weeeded them out!  Also, I think that you may be more self critical, and may be thinking about this harder than need be.  He may not even think anything at all?  I think, we've come too far to think about what "Someone" else thinks.  I think that we deserve to shine ALL THE WAY.  And be proud!  Girl, you're 130!!!!!!!! I would LOVE to be 130!  And you're also attractive!  So don't worry, and have fun on "date 5".  No worries! ;)

Hey Jess! I'm glad you talked and feel better about things. I hope date #5 is great!!!

have fun....and guard your heart above all else.  Remember, you don't need him to validate you as a beautiful person inside and out.  You are that whether he or anyone sees that or not!  Your choice to move on sexually is yours alone, but remember he may tell you what you want to hear, or what he thinks you want to hear, so be sure so your heart won't hurt later. merry christmas blessings, Tami

Best of luck , Jess.  This dating thing is strange.  I went out on my first date in over 30 years last week.  I was with my ex since I was 16, so missed all of that.  Anyway, he was a nice man, not for me, but I was thinking before hand, "what if I really like him and things progress, could I let anyone else see me naked?"  Im still worried about it, but it sounds like you have found a great guy.  Good luck hugs, Helen