Dating after WLS..and a separation..

I met my hubby online--though not through a dating service. It was an accident-- we met through internet relay chat 13 years ago. We have been married for 10 years this July. When we met I was 32 and recently seperated with two little kids. He is a total dreamboat---at least to me! He moved to Texas from Wisconsin to be with me--but not until he had a good job...then he moved around the world with me---from Texas to Germany and Germany to England...he raised my kids with me---doing things like planning cooking activities to do with them when they were tiny--before we were married--and we used to go see him for the weekend. He taught them about safe sex--and most of their friends, too--he's comfortable talking about anything with anyone. He's intellectual, kind, thoughtful, fun, hardworking, interesting, witty AND gorgeous! I never thought any men like him existed that weren't either spoken for or gay---SOOOooOOOo I'm not saying this to make anyone jealous...just to let you know that there are such guys out there---and as my mom says "Every Jack has his Jill... Now we're growing old together :-/ But we're having fun doing it! One kid is a sophmore in college and is back in the states--and the other is a sophmore in high school---and my sweetheart is with me every single step of the way---dealing with picking up kids from softball, dealing with disappointment at not making the basketball team---and trying to raise the one long distance too! We're happy gypsies traveling the world--and life is sweet :-)

Lucky for you Kim! thats excellent. If we all only had your type of good fortune. :)

Im not sure about anyone seeing me naked now, its terrifying!!  I was married for 28 years, and am now divorced, and havnt been on a date yet.  I dont know where to find the men.  I went on a dating site, and had lots of interest, but I couldnt find anyone that I wanted to meet.  So here I am still dateless and not sure when the time does come how I am ever going to trust someone to see all the skin and scars etc.  Its all too scary for an old girl like me! hugs Helen

Jess, You are not alone... Girl!  About a year PO I started doing the online thing too.  Isn't it wierd how much different they look in person!  LOL!!!  I talked with them for at least a week out on the phone before I even met any of them.  Yes you have to weed through the bad ones and be careful, but I met some good men too, and I'm still in touch with a couple of them.  I went a little date crazy there for a year and dated 28 guys (yeah I know... whew), but I had a BLAST!  I was worried about the excess skin thing too but realized that if they really loved me or cared for me it really didn't matter.  Don't be self-conscious just remember how much better you look and feel now.  I'm sure that "jock" has some issues or areas he'd like to change about himself also (they're just as self-conscious as we are).   I don't do the online thing any longer, I actuallly found my prince in my back yard (well here on base at least).  We've been dating 1 1/2 years now and things are going well.  He thinks I'm beautiful (he needs glasses... lol!) and my excess skin doesn't bother him at all.  He's a sweetheart!  Best of luck!!!!!!  Have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That guy sounds like a real a$$ and you shouldn't be bothered by him at all. My first husband was like that, always criticizing everything wrong with my body and he thought he looked like Zeus, and he was hairy everywhere except his ugly fat head and shaped really weird. I can't imagine having to date again. You'll probably run into lots of disappointments before you find a good one. I mentioned to you before that my daughter is also going through a divorce (she's almost 26 years old and is very pretty). I dread seeing what she drags in.

Thanks for posting this Jess.  I have thought about posting this same thing on the Sex Before and After board to get their reponse. I have dated MANY guys since I lost my weight.  And you know what I have discovered?  MANY are superficial and are (unfortunately) only looking for that bikini model.  I try to tell them after a few dates (if we get that far) that I have had the surgery and have skin issues, but many don't believe me because I do look decent in clothes.   I have decided to keep on dating and only put my energy into the ones who I know are really ok with my skin issues (because if they can't get past that, then what's the point??).  I don't have the money to continue my plastics yet (I have had boobs and arms done and am dying to get the rest) and I now know from experience that there ARE decent men out there that are there for the total package ~ you just have to keep looking and not give up hope!