True Confessions of a Weight Gainer - 5 years post-op

True Confessions of a Weight Gainer: Okay... I'm putting myself out there!

I had surgery on November 8, 2002.... FIVE years ago.

My starting weight:  305 My lowest weight post-op:  162 My current weight:  202-204

I can personally attest to the "grazing" theory.  I can also tell you that you "can" cheat your surgery by eating a little now and waiting a little and having more.  I've managed to train myself back into some really bad habits, and it really scares me.  I know that if I want something sweet, I can have a couple of those tiny crunch bars now... but in an hour, I can have a couple more.  I graze too frequently on crackers, pretzels, popcorn.  I also drink waaay too much too early after I eat and this just makes everything like soup.  I just am so thirsty sometimes, I can't help it. 

I am not holding myself accountable 80% of the time.  I'm spiraling out of control.  I'm frustrated, scared and extremely disappointed in myself.  I don't exercise.  I have two jobs and both require me to sit at a comptuer all day!

When I decide I'm going to "diet" again, I generally do soooo well while I'm at my full-time job all day.  It's at night that the gremlins come out.  I painstakingly take 1 or 2 days out of my week to cook several healthy meals and freeze them using my food saver (which I love).  I have the healthy meal ready to heat up, I eat it... and two hours later I'm jonsing for something to eat.

Here's a typical day's diet for me:

Breakfast: Cottage Cheese and Almonds or a Fruit   OR My Low-Fat Breakfast Frittata Lunch: Tuna on Whole Wheat   OR Ham & Cheese on Whole Wheat Snack: Cottage Cheese and Almonds or a Fruit   OR 1 oz. Low-Fat Cheddar with Almonds or a Fruit   OR 12 oz. Whey Protein Drink Dinner: Small Chicken Breast 1/2 c. rice 1/2 c. peas or green beans Evening: This is where I spiral out of control.

I'm really tired of cottage cheese and nuts, and I'm pretty sick of this meal plan.

I try to keep the garbage out of the house, as my husband also is trying with me to lose some weight too.  We are horrible for one another in this respect, because if one of us has a craving, we're jumping in the car and heading for Kroger which is only a mile away.  We've tried to keep one another accountable, but it just doesn't last.  We are so tired of the roller coaster.  It's like an addictive emotional eating pattern.

I'm constantly scouring the web looking for something.  Advice, a new diet plan to follow... something.  I've thought about joining Weight  Watchers, I've even thought about going to my doctor and asking for some appetite suppressants.  Through all of my pre-op days, the suppressants were the only thing that really helped long-term to help me to lose weight.  It helps with portions, cravings, desire to eat and keeps my hunger pangs at bay.

I feel like I have no options.  I'm embarassed.  I didn't tell many people that I had this surgery.  Only my immediate family... not even my inlaws know.  I was sparing myself the humiliation just in case I ever gained weight... and here I am...  5 years later and have put back on almost 40 lbs. 

Anyway... I hope this helps someone else out there that thinks that this surgery is just the end-all.  It's not... you HAVE to learn new habits, you HAVE to stick to them, you HAVE to exercise, and you HAVE to listen to your surgeon!  I haven't.  I've paid the price.

If anyone reading this had any advice for me... or any diet plan recommendations... I would be extremely greatful!  I'm not a picky eater, but I don't eat fish, and I eat beef only once or twice a month.

I admit, it is hard for me to check the forums frequently as I have a few other work-related forums I read daily and I work two jobs.  I will try to visit as frequently as I can.  In the meantime, I appreciate your reading up to this point and thanks in advance for any suggestions or advice.

I can also be reached at michiganwls at gmail dot com

Heidi

I'm replying to my own post, because I just wanted to say that I just saw the link for the Surgical Weight Loss 5-day Pouch Test at http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html and I'm going to give it a try! Still would love some replies :) Heidi

Heidi,  WOW this really hit home with me.  I feel your frustration!!  Hang in there!!  I know how hard and stressful life gets and for me the easy way to make myself feel better is to eat.  I too have a hubby that is trying to loose wieght.  Prior to my WLS we were eating buddies and we are starting to slide into that habit again.   I'm not working 2 jobs, but it feels like it.  I work full time, about 55-60 hours a week, and I'm working on my masters.  I'm tired when I get home and don't want to cook healthy meals and certainly don't want to work out.   The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results... in others words what I'm doing isn't working...time to kick it up a notch.  So, like you I'm going to check out and try the 5day test thingy and I'm going to join the health club again.  This morning in fact. Also I tried Weigh****ches this past summer and it worked well for me... if only I'd stick to it. 

Heidi,  I just want to let you know that in my eyes, you are not a failure...You LOST 100 POUNDS! What a great accomplishment! So don't think you've failed.  You've caught yourself before you fell completely and now it's time to re-adjust and get back where you want to be.  I am not an expert (there are quite a few here) but I can tell you I have a couple of ideas for your diet for variety. Try some malto meal in the morning. It has alittle protein and no fat if you make it with water only. Butter buds and some splenda and it's yummy..AT least I think so. AND you can add some protein powder to it and that changes the flavor to whatever the protein powder flavor is. If you have a trader joes near you (you probably don't but you might find some somewhere) they have frozen buffalo burger patties and those are like beef on steroids (in a good way) HIGH protein. I usually don't do much fish either because hubby and son don't like it much but I do like thawed cooked frozen shrimp tossed into a small salad occasionally. Even for dinner this is an idea. I don't do the rice (or pasta or bread at all) but discovered roasted dried green peas...Like soy nuts only green, I figure. In the evenings, what do you tend to "cheat" on? I'm out 16 months (in a day or so) and I have a big cup of something warm but if that doesn't help, a piece of sugar free candy usually does it for me. Maybe you can find an alternative that will give you the same feel in your mouth but not on your hips (so to speak).

HEIDI-I am 5 and 1/2 ears post-have ALOT in common and alot I'd like to share with you-I'm on my way out the door to support group meeting but wanted to post real quick and let you know I'll be posting more to you later--There IS hope--the THIS is the place to find it!!! In the meantime-do read up on the pouch test-and Kaye Bailey's whole website-it has been a GODSEND to me--after YEARS of frustration--really pay attention to what she says about "slider foods"--like cottage cheese-"talk" to you soon!

Gina AKA Nurse Diva

You are not alone!  Your story could be mine - the nighttime grazing, etc.  I did the 5 day pouch test and was VERY happy with the results.  It's amazing how your pouch will still work!  It's not easy...  I struggle everyday and I know many of us do.   What really drives me crazy is that I overeat even though it makes me feel BAD.  If I follow the rules, I feel better physically, emotionally, every way!  Shouldn't that be motivation enough???  Still overeating satisfies something in me, something really messed up, that I cannot figure out.  I read somewhere that we actually override our physical discomfort to stuff ourselves...  what kind of sense does that make? I wish you success with the 5 day pouch test.  It was a great experience for me and honestly, I plan to do it again soon.  I lost 8 pounds that week and felt such a difference when I went back to eating - by the rules!  I've since fallen off the wagon a bit again but not for long. It's a lifelong process  and my motto is Progress, not Perfection! Take care, Laina

Everyone gave great advice!!! I wanted you to know you're not alone. Im 2 yrs out and have some of the bad habbits you do. Im trying to loose another 10-15 but not being to successful. I to can do awsome all day, but when im home at night the grazing monster gets me.

Hang in there, try new things, come here for support, and never give up!!

i to fill like am starving all the time and i was remind to do the protein drink 6 time a day  @ 30g with only 4oz of water and it is helping  am eating less and most of all am not starving eneymore i only get hungrey when i think i should eat or fix food for the family  and check your lab to just in case it might be part of it good luck and i to am 4 year out and gain 40 pl back to and it bother me very bad

Heidi I have been down the same road you are traveling and have made it back.  I am 6 years out and went from pre op 365 to 175 (6 ft tall).  Then over time I gained  back to 230.  In January of this year, I recommitted to the basic pouch rules and cut out sugar completely.  I now follow a low glycemic diet.  It was tough for the first few days, but after day three the cravings for sugar was gone and I have no desire to eat sweets at all.  This in its self is amazing since I was a serious lover of chocolate.  I am now down to 155, which is actually 20 lighter than my previous lowest weight.  I had to make the decision to look at it like an addict, I know if I give in a little bit I will be back down the road to gaining.  I hope this helps, it's really never to late to start using the tool we have been given again.   Take care and good luck! Terri

Terri, Seriously, that is truly inspiring, as I am a sugar addict, and have gained back 40 lbs.  Thank you so much for your insight and hope...