Why does the mind get stuck

Why is it that I am at 120 pounds and well within my ideal weight range and still all I can think about it not eating, watching my calories, looking at diets.. I am even considering going on the pouch diet... Why do we do this to ourselves. I am terrible. I can tell you what needs to be done but will I do it. I fight tooth and nail to lower my calories even though I know I should be raising them. Now I am on a kick to drink protein drinks instead of eating cause it is less calories.. Does anyone else do this to themselves? I wish there was a switch to turn off my need to diet off and turn on the need to maintain button. I drive myself crazy with it.

Carla

Im right there with you Carla...I've thought about doing the pouch test but keep catching myself before I start it. I weigh, I measure, I obess over every single crumb I eat...Probably because I want to maintain so bad. I've never done it before and I'm a fish out of water on that...No clue.

Just today I actually made myself a lunch that was mostly carbs (stuffed peppers with rice and veggies and cheese, no meat but 2 ounces of pork from the stew...) I'll make it up at dinner, I know but I think about food all day long. I plan meals in my head and think ahead two days. (I have a salmon dish all fixed in my head for tomorrow night. Pop those pouches on the grill and make some veggies...We're eating) Mentally get rid of all the pork in the freezer because it's too high in fat, not enough protein to make it "worth it." In order to raise your calories you need to eat something, albeit protein mostly, every two or three hours. I drink something first, like a 24 ounce bottle of water and THEN eat, just so that I make sure I get my water in. But seriously, you're helping me on this so I shouldn't be coaching you, of all people. I'm the rank amateur. You've been there.  Is it because I've been so out of control in the past that this is the only way I can feel "in control'? I live my life under my own thumb because I'm terrified to lose control and gain "it all back." Like I could do that in a day! It took me over a year to lose 120 pounds. It took me years and years to gain it all too so why should I obesess? Am I just a sicko control freak? Questions. No answers. Sorry.

Though I'm not yet at goal, the situation you describe is exactly what I think I'll be facing once I get to that point - not the obsession with the "diet" mentality because I'm not really "dieting" even now, but the mental crossover from spending ALL of my adult life thinking "reduce, reduce, reduce" - and now having to suddenly think "maintain, maintain, maintain"  That's not wired into my thinking - and honestly, I think that's a bigger struggle than even taking off the weight to begin with.  If could have just "maintained" years ago when I took a significant amount off, I might have never needed surgical intervention. But you know what?  You have to let those things roll off - you're human.  This is new territory relative to life prior to surgery, and it's going to take some getting used to.  Trial and error and the "safety net" of letting the scale be a guide for a little while, whereas, before it was something we're told to back away from.  The most successful people who took the weight off (regardless of surgery status) and maintained their weight the best are people who weigh frequently after getting to goal.  It's not because they're obsessed with a number, but they get a feel for how their eating and activity fluxuates, so they learn to have the confidence to take in a few more calories, or that they don't perhaps "need" that extra 40-minute treadmill run today to burn off the "big" meal they had the night before, that kind of thing.  They don't have to count every calorie, but they get an intuitive sense of when they're sticking to what works, and what doesn't - if this explanation is making sense.  They know they can have an extra 200 or whatever calories a day(another yogurt or piece of cheese or bag of popcorn, etc) and it won't cause the scale to creep up and up.  Or if they do have that extra "something" - maybe they'll just have to run an extra 10 minutes on tomorrow's jog so it doesn't settle in, that kind of thing.  It's scary, but it's an important transition.  Hopefully you'll get some maintainers chiming in, but I wanted you to know I'm glad you posted this - it's something we all face at some point, and I'm probably going to be in your shoes in about 6 months or so.

i thought i was only having this issue, i was actually thinking about doing the 5 day pouch diet, i mentioned it to my firend and she said that i will end up looking like a " crack -head" if i lose anymore weight. i dont want to add any weight so to me it seems like the only logic thing is to get down to a smaller size so when i do add weight it wont be tht bad...whatever that means.."smaller size"  because i am at a small size, compared to the 285 tht i was 20 months ago  why  i keep checking my food intake calculation on sparkspeople.com all the time, i dont know, i will check it atleast twice when i make an entry...not tht it moved anymore or anyless.. i guess its the demon tht most of us have to deal with and pray tht we will be okey and let it go. Be blessed

Dear Carla, Although I don't have this problem exactly, I wanted you to know that I feel in time you will be able to get this situation under control. I know you know what you need to do, you are always giving the rest of us such good advice and support. This is new territory for us all. We all are terrified of gaining back the weight.  YOU CAN get in the maintance mode and out of the "diet" mode(I hate the word diet) and into a healthy balance of eating well and maintaining your weight for life. Don't make yourself crazy. Sher

I haven't had surgery yet (18 days and counting) but i've thought about this a lot.  I think for most of us there's a strong connection to food and emotions.  WHen we're overwieght food is a way to self medicate and usually food is one of the few things we all have "control" of in our lives. So after surgery it switches from eating to satisfy a need, to not eating to satisfy a need.  Food shouldn't rule our lives.  It ruled it when we're overweight and we let it rule us when we obsess over it when we're not.   I can't say how i will be when i've gotten to a point where i'm near goal or at goal..i hope i'm not obsessing over it.  I want to just be happy that i'm not huge and that i'm healthy and ALIVE and if i'm eating right i shouldn't really need to count calories right? I dunno. I hope we all get to a point where we can just live life..not live for food. (or the absence of)

Carla, I compeletely understand. I started a thread last week I think about my "obsession" with all of this and got tons of responses~ if you want to check it out there was some good advice and alot of understanding out there! Nothing is ever enough~I want to lose more, look better be a smaller size (I wear a 6 or an 8 depending), I obsess over what to eat, exercise~is it too much or not enough, on and on and on! Its exhausting! When I first had wls I think I believed that I would hit goal and just live happily ever after~LOL~well its just not that easy. I've never been good at maintenance and it scares me! Heck, I've been successfully maintaining for over a year now,but I still don't think I'm doing it right. I did the 5day thing last week and was successful so I'm already thinking about doing it again. Anyway, I have no answers for you, but I do understand the struggle. Hang in there!

yeah, i do it. my excuse is that i still want to loose some weight to get to 115lbs. still, at 132lbs with BMI 22.7, i know i shouldn't be that obsessed. old habits die hard, i guess:)

[quote] Hopefully you'll get some maintainers chiming in[/quote] A 'maintainer' chiming in!    There's been a couple threads this week along similar lines (1 year Surgiversary and What's Wrong with being a Size 16) and I've replied in both of those.   I honestly believe that this surgery is as much a mental thing as a physical thing.   The tool will help us get the weight off, but if we can't get a handle on the mental part of it  - then we can sabotage the tool.    Now, I'm not a psychologist, but I am a certified Reverend and do counsel and mentor women:  so I do have some experience in this area.  I can tell you that it all goes much deeper than what we look like.  It's a deeper need of contentment.  I personally find that contentment in my faith in Christ - others may find that in their chosen faith or in other things.  Some of those chosen things may be beneficial, some may be equally as destructive and as addictive as food (like shopping, sex or drugs) or approval from others.    WLS didn't fix that.  YOU have to fix that.  It may take some counseling or therapy to work through it.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!  If you find yourself having lost all this weight, you look and feel great, and yet can't get your "head in the game", so to speak and are still battling the mind games of what size you need to be and what the scale says - then why not complete the cycle of healing and first, get plugged into a real-life support group (yes, online is great, but it would help, in this instance, to physically see people and connect with them) and also talk with a counselor or therapist to help you move past this mind road-block to your contentment with yourself.    I don't toss around the 'go to therapy' thing lightly - because I'm truly not a huge fan of everyone run off to therapy.  I'm really not.  But, there is a time and place for it.  And I believe this could be one of those times.    How long did we all stay obese - suffering.  Why would we continue to do this to ourselves with this mental thing on size, what we weigh, have we failed in our weight loss goals, etc......:  if you can't move past that, if you're struggling as a post-op, then stop it right now.   And if the posts on online forums like this aren't enough to really help you; then talk to a therapist who can help you work through it.  Or, perhaps explore your faith or reconnect with your faith roots.  Whatever works for you!  If you keep doing what you've always done:  you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. So if what you're doing isn't working, then do something else until you find what works for you.