What's wrong with a size 16 anyway?

Hi All, I will be 8 years out in December and I will 39 in a couple weeks, both of which are really prompting some soul searching for me. I also, finally am in therapy which is long overdue. My highest weight was 374 and I was a size 28 jeans. I am 5ft 7 and the smallest size I obtained was a size 12, BUT I was no longer following the rules with Vits, water etc. and became sick. My Dr. diagnosed me as malnourished and I almost landed in the hospital. I got it together and although it took some months I regained my health and went back to a size 14, which for the most part I was happy with.  I gained some weight the last 4 years and am a size 16 now and have been for quite awhile. SIZE 16!!!!!! Well, when I had surgery that was actually my goal, not a number on the scale, but to be a size 16. I am on a vigourous exercise regimen which I started to get back to a size 14. What has happened along the way has nothing to do with a size. I am getting so strong, and I feel amazing! I have just had a complete physical including stress test and echo of my heart. I am in the best health of my life!  What has occured to me is that is the real prize, not a number on a scale or a size. I consider the fact that I have kept off 150 pounds for years and I consider that a success. I have a wonderful life and a marriage that is "sickeningly (sp?) Happy" as our friends put it. I REFUSE to let these numbers, doubts, negative thoughts and poor self esteem still my joy anymore. I may NEVER be anything but a size 16, which by the way my husband thinks is just too sexy because I do have a classic hour glass shape. I am HEALTHY.  I know so many of us struggle and the fear of getting huge again is so scary, but I am confident now that I will not let that happen, so hey size 16 will be just fine with me if that is where I am suppose to be. For those of us struggling, trust me I know the feeling, but *try* not to let it steal your joy. Hugs,

Great post Donna You are an inspiration to me...I hope I continue to have as rosy an outlook on how my post-op life is when I reach 8 years and more post WLS... Alesia

  Amen girl!  I had this surgery to get healthy,  and since I no longer have diabetes or high blood pressure - I've accomplished my ultimate goal.   The only weight goal I set was to have a normal BMI - and I have that.  So I'm good. 

You are definately where I want to be...Not a location or a number on the scale or the tag in my jeans but mentally...THAT's What it's all about... Cheers to you!  Dawn

hear hear, well said

You are so right.  And it is ashamed it takes such soul searching for us to finally figure it all out.  I know that I originally got down to a size 4-6.  But I didn't stay there for very long, and my surgeon had even told me not to get used to that size as I would probably not stay there.  He said that for my family history and my structure that he figured I would settle into a good sized 8-10 and that would be my healthy set point for my height and build which is short LOL.  But I tried and tried to stay in that 6 which was so hard and I was starving.  When I finally let go and ate normally like I was supposed to and exercised like a normal person and not in excess, my body was able to find its set point which is a size 8-10 (I'm a shorty).  And I don't have to work to stay there.  I follow my rules and exercise and the scale and my size stay stable.  And I feel great.  So, no I am not a size 2, but I am a happy, healthy, and normal size 10 which works for me and my height.  So, I don't worry about what size everyone else is and how small they are.  I am healthy which was my goal in the first place when I had this surgery, and somehow I got side tracked with a stereo type size, but I found my way back to my original goal and am fine where I am.  I have been here for almost 2 years now.  So, I am so happy for you to come on here and post this today as you are a beautiful person inside and out.  And I think you look great the size you are.  You are always so supportive on here, and I am glad you can now come out and support your own success.  You are a success.  Actually you are an amazing success.  Coming up on an 8 year anniversary and being able to say you have kept off the weight is truly amazing and a real inspiration to the rest of us.  You go girl.

Melissa

 

Thanks so much for this post Donna! I needed it! I am 60 years old and for the first time in my life I am healthy! My family calls me skinny, my husband thinks Im sexy and my friends cant believe I weigh 195 pounds. But I havent been satisfied, cause I never made it any lower! I wear a size 14-16, some 12 tops. But I have tried and tried to get lower, and I guess my body too has found its set point!! The lowest I reached was 191. When I asked my doc what my goal should realistically be for my age,,he said my body would decide, and that it could well be 190 pounds! Yourpost made me stop and reevalute why I had this surgery. Like you, I too said if I could just be a size 16 I would be happy!! I guess I forgot that!! So, I think Ill go take another look in the mirror,,and in my closet, and in my medicine chest that is empty of any and all medications I used to take,,and be thankful for the gift I have been given! Thanks again,,you made my day!! Blessings Betsy

I'm glad to see  this post, because I see people talk about how bummed they are because they are now up to a SIZE SIX and it makes me crazy! UP TO! SIZE SIX!

I don't care what size I am as long as I'm healthy. Well, okay, I do care some, but my size now is around a 14, and I'm good with that. I actually have this weird body that needs a size 12 in the hips, but needs a size 18 in the waist (my hips and waist are almost the same size).

But hey, 3 years ago I was a size 5x.

Hi Donna,  I hardly ever come here and read any more since I am 2 years out and pretty much have a life that I used to not have, but I decided to today to see what the diet pill of choice was here for old timers. Instead I saw your post. I am at 140 pounds 2 years after surgery. Last month I was at 136 pounds. The 4 pound weight gain is driving me crazy. I feel so fat, all of the 4 pounds went to my tummy I think. It is really discouraging to put on jeans that were loose last year and they are now tight.  After reading your post I realize that I am truely blessed. I am in a size 8-10 and I am doing great healthwise. My fear is that I will continue to gain more weight. So I feel like I need to take control now before it gets out of hand. Am I wrong for thinking this?  Tina

Hi Tina, Oh my gosh, no you are not wrong for thinking the way you are. I have been at my current size for years but if I gained more weight or got to a larger size I would really be concerned. We all have to decide where we are and where we need to be happy. Don't get me wrong, I am ALWAYS on guard about what I eat and that along with the amount of exercise I do is what I attribute my good heatlh to. I have just spent too much time CONSUMED by getting to a certain number or size and I may not. There have been so many days that I let bad thoughts about myself ruin entire days. I think the main point I was trying to make is that size 16 just *may be* where my body wants to be and I am done with obsessing. That's what is right for me, not for everyone. I think you are doing wonderful! It is  definitely a life long commitment to not lose or to get back control. The monster is always there just begging us to be MO again and we have to keep our guard up. Do what is best for you, just enjoy your life along the way!