make myself dump

Hi all, I have a problem. I'm 2 years out and I pretty much dump everyday. I make myself dump because I make horrible food choices.  Deep down, I don't feel like I have the right to be "skinny". I've never been skinny in my life, until now.  I wear a size 10, and I weigh about 165 pounds. I never really made it to goal, but I've never really focused on the actual numbers.  Why in the world would I do this to myself? It's not a pleasant feeling - by far. I'm sure I need to go to a therapist and I'll work on getting an appointment. I guess I just wanted to know that I'm not the only person feeling this way and wondering what you've been told about feeling these type of feelings. Thanks, Farrah

Farrah I too make lots of bad food choices. My problem is none of them make me dump. I want you to know that you are not alone and that their are a lot of caring people on these boards to support you. I don't write in a lot because I feel like I failed but I do read the board and will give you any help I can. Debbie

Farrah,  I wish I could dump!  No not really.  You know we started about the same time and maybe even met once.  But the fact of the matter is you need to try making the right choices.  Some day those bad choices will catch you with a weight gain.  You do have the right to be skinny and be proud of it.  you worked hard at getting the surgery.  Think of your self as a success.  I eat to much carbs and you know what that does to a body but it is a very bad addiction and i try daily to deal with it.  Please take a fresh look at your self and tell you you do deserve it!!  Sheila

I'm still battling some food addiction. It's not nearly as bad as before, but still, I'll eat something like potato chips just because I love them so much, knowing that if I eat more than 5 or 6, I'll get sick off them. But I eat them anyway. I'm sure you're not alone in this. When I had my psych eval before surgery, the therapist let me know that most WLS end up seeking help after they've lost weight, and I'm beginning to understand why.

I struggle from time to time. Its like I can do great for just so long and then I jump off the deep end for a short while. I'm happy that I've always been able to get back on the wagon quickly, but do fear the day when I can't get it back together again. I am in therapy currently and working on it.  It takes alot for me to get to an actual dump, but I have made myself have an upset tummy many times after making bad choices. I'm not sure why we can't just be thin and be happy~why do we self sabotage? Ahhh, it drives me crazy too! Good Luck to You!

Do you mean vomit? Dumping has nothing to do with bodily fluids actually leaving, since it's more like a blood sugar reaction (Shakes, heart palpitations, confusion, weak knees, etc), So, I'm thinking that you are actually speaking of bulemia? Like self-induced vomiting after meals?

I don't know anything about true eating disorders, as such, but would highly recommend you see an eating disorder specialist, not just any "shrink", who may or may not have personal biases that can make you feel "judged" when you need to feel "helped".

Although those are not my issues, I feel for you and hope you can find the help you need to be ok with yourself and be ok with you when you make good choices and blow those up way bigger in your mind than the booboos we all make from time to time.

No, my dumping includes an increased heart rate that feels like my heart is going to take off out of my chest, my face gets red, my hands gets numb, and I get tired (but not tired enough to sleep). It's when I eat too many carbs/sugar. I don't have bulemia.

OK, so you are saying you actually are eating too much sugar over & over and can't figure out why you can't stop?

OR are you getting hypoglycemic episodes?

BTW: hint on sugar = wanting more sugar. It's part of our physical disease. You're not nuts.

Well I am nuts, my psychiatrist says so. I'm going to try the 5 day pouch test, to get off carbs and try to get back in touch with myself. I'm also going to try to limit my carb intake, because I agree the more I eat, the more I want to eat.

You know, I was looking at that and it would send me off on a carb binge that would never end. Way too many carbs there and no satisfaction in slider foods.

But I did manage to lose my sugar regain (how do you think I know about sugar??) by eating ONLY protein foods. My doc is specific, "If it doesn't walk, swim or fly, don't eat it." and I don't like meat or fish! So, salad? Nope. Nuts? Nope. So, I did one meal in meat and 3 were half protein bars (carbs under 2g total), as well as my 6 protein drinks (180g), made with water, so no hidden sugars there. If I was hungry, it was a whole protein bar. I was not hungry AT ALL during this.

it was miserable at first, because every cookie and piece of fudge in town was screaming my name! But with my jeans cutting into me, I managed to persevere and it got easier and easier. I did lose the wt and basically have managed to stay off sugar completely since 4/1. I'm talking not even one TEENSY celebratory bite of XXXX. Somehow I even escaped birthday cake frosting at a party!

Now, because I broke my arm and then was off food (due to pain), I lose 21 of the 13 I needed to lose. BUT I lost 9 of those by doing this protein only thing. Then I broke my arm and wished for oblivion.

But since then, I have regained my appetite, added normal carbs back into my life and am maintaining that 13# loss I needed. As much as half my brain says I needed to keep the extra 8 off, my clothes also didn't fit that way, so I'm back where I belong at my 112 where I've been most of these years. BUT NO SUGAR. It's a slippery slope for this girl and if I have a little, I want a lot.