Something that has NEVER happened to me before, not sure if its good or bad.

Okay gang, this is primarily for the women out there, because I would NOT want to offend any men..I"m not sure this story will, but it might. Its a true story of something that I have never experienced before in my life... and it makes me continue to wonder if I'm missing a whole 'nother world out there.  Last Friday night I went out drinking with a girlfriend and it was just the 2 of us. We went to a pretty busy bar/pool hall that had a huge, diverse group of people from all walks of life. Anyhow, we started drinking, and I was trying to take it slow because I found once the shots start..its all over for me..  Anyhow, I'm chatting w/ my friend and not really paying attention to anyone and then I see this guy gesturing in my direction. He's kinda cute, not really my type..a bit skinny and short (i'm a tall, broad shouldered man lover). Anyhow, I did the whole double take... you know..the whole."there is no way he's gesturing at me..."  when in fact he was! I immediately lifted my left hand revealing my ring finger and pointed to it to indicate that I am married. Well, apparently that was not a deterent. He came over and said "you are so beautiful, I know you're married..but would you make my night and let me dance with you? I promise I'll behave". I told him thanks, but no thanks and I was hanging with my friend..and then my friend said "go ahead..its just a dance, we are here to have fun, I've got your back"... and since I've never in my life been asked by a guy to dance.. I went and danced with him...and had a few more drinks..and then he and his friends wanted to go to a different place. I did not want to go, but for some reason I did agree to give him my phone number instead of just saying "no, but this was fun"... so, trying to be coy and sneaky..I intended on giving him 1/2 of my cell and 1/2 of my work number..so it was a 'fake" number... but, I was too inebriated and ended up spouting out my work phone number..the correct one. So, they left, I went home and forgot about it.. completely.    I get to work this past monday and there is a VM on my machine at work from this guy asking when we are showing up to this other club.. YIKES.. So I deleted it and vowed then and there to stop drinking outside of my home and I am now my groups designated driver.   I thought it was over.. and then YESTERDAY I answer a call at work and its HIM! I of course told him he had the wrong number, which he knew he didn't, but he was a gentleman and let me off the hook...but HELLO!!!!! never in my life have I had anyone "call me back"... I've given numbers at clubs back when I was single, and plus sized...and never  call back...but now, I'm totally flattered..and freaked out at the same time! I mean, on one side, a total stranger found me beautiful and approached me and also had the courage (and I know its hard to take that step) to call me back a few days later. However on the other side, I feel awful!!! I am married, and I have no business being picked up on by guys at clubs, and I feel like the worlds most horrible wife. I also feel horrible, like one of those skinny chicks at the bars that just use men to buy them drinks and lead them on...although I don't believe I totally led him on, I was upfront from the get go that I was married and he kept saying "we'll just be friends".. yeah right!, But, I had NO business giving him my phone number..even if I had intended to trick him and give him a fake number..I should have just said.. "look, it was fun, you made my night, you've totally flattered me but I am married as I've said before and I am not comfortable giving you my number."...   Please don't flame me too bad...but my friends say that i should take Pride in the fact that a guy 1. walked across and entire club to come talk to me  2. was so into me that he asked my number knowing I was married and 3. called me back 4 days later!... But do I want to listen to those friends???  I dont' think I do, I need to focus on my marriage..so, this is why I am vowing to not drink in public unless I'm with my husband and if the girls want to go out, I will be Designated Driver....  I am a bad person aren't I?? :(... I don't like myself on a regular basis...but I really dont' like myself now. My friend Joe tells me that I am being waaay to hard on myself and it was a mistake and I should just learn from it and move forward...but I have this strong desire to tell my husband about it.. but I know it will hurt and upset him. The thing is, we've been having a lot of problems lately, many of which i've voiced on this board..and this will not help them. The thing is, I dont' want to hurt him..but I know if I am going to grow and find out who I am, I have to leave him. He wants things to stay just the way they were pre-surgery, but I'm not that person anymore. I have drive, ambition and motiviation now...  Am I off my rocker??  I cherish the feedback I get on this board, but please don't flame me.. and this was a first time thing..and last time thing.. I'm not a cheater.. I'm still married and will honor that vow..  but damn.. it sure sounds appealing right now.. to throw caution to the wind and see what comes my way...  I feel like i'm screwing my entire life up.. throwing it away.. destroying other lives in the process...  however, I am never regrettful of having WLS... I just worry what I would do if I really just let loose and left... is anyone else going through this? experienced this?? help.

It was nice and it was flattering but...Like you, I would run like heck the other way. Just when you have things going just the way you dreamed they would is not the time to mess them up with something like that.. But that's just me. You're a big girl and know what you want. Trouble or ???

There-in lies the problem..things are not "just as I dreamed"... but I know it will get better.. it has to. Life has ebs and flows..this is just another "eb".

Flattering he noticed you from across the room - you betcha! Not very flattering for HIM that despite knowing you were married... he sought out your number AND called it.  Not very flattering at all! Change even for the better can be hard when folks are used to things being certain ways.  I hope that your husband can grow with you. 

Good luck, Kathy

You've got a point there.. I actually was so busy being embarrassed and feeling bad about spewing out my phone number (as un-intentional as that was), that I never took a second to think about the fact that he knows I'm married.. I told him numerous times.. So yeah.. when you look at it that way... its not so flattering..  Possibly he thought I am in the market for an adulterous affair..but nope..thats not me.. I feel guilty enough just with what happened!

Oh yeah! What is he expecting? Not a permanent thing at all...Just alittle fun and flick, you're gone...I'm definately not in the market for that, even if I was in the market...

OT: That is one cute puppy in your avatar...Beagle?  I know what you mean by it has to get better. It's not all roses at my house either. Hubby doesn't get it, kids are troubling, things are never all peachy but I would still run like heck away from throwing it all away. it's still better than the turmoil that something like running off with Mr Dancer would cause...Yikes. It sounds like a blast but sooner later, that party's over.. I saw a poster on one of the other boards who was troubled with the fact that they knew a couple where the wife had the surgery and found someone else and left hubby dearest, leaving teenage kids at home...Now she's having the surgery and that friend is supportive but her hubby is very very worried...Do you blame him? My own husband told me he's afraid that I'll get skinny and be too good for him and leave him. Not this girl. I've just got him semi-trained...Not enough sexy guys in the world to make me want to train another one after 17 years. Now the thought of leaving the teenage kids at home would not bother me at all but having to train a new hubby...Yuk. No stomach for that.

Yep, its a beagle. he's my best friends dog, so he's my puppy-nephew.

dont kill yourself over this, as your friend said,learn from this and move on. go out have fun, and as u learnt no "trying" to give phone number out at that state of having a few drinks, for us is alot, should be glad u didnt give the house #. Have fun and take care

So I'm just popping up all over the boards and saw your post.  I'm sorry to hear that everything in your marriage isn't as you'd dream it would be post-op.  That said. It is flattering to get attention from a total stranger.   Next time take the attention for what it is continue to be upfront and be married and committed to your marriage, but girl please don't give your number or even a fake number.  Believe me when I say just don't do it.   Be polite and firm,  "I enjoyed dancing with you but as I told you before I am married"  end of story.    So go out and drink with the girls but no more attempted number giving!!  Enjoy your life, set boundaries for yourself,  and have fun! Ms Shell