6 years of new life - today...

A couple of days ago it hit me - I used to be obese.  I had forgotten. No kidding, I had forgotten. Then it hit me that my surgery anniversary was 9/6/01 and that was just around the corner. Wow.  Has it been 6 years already? This time (1:00 a.m. Central time) 6 years ago I was just laying down for a couple of hours of sleep before my surgery. That day:  45 years old, 5' 6" tall, 292lb - uncomfortably in size 26 , married,  mother to 2 boys. My husband adored me - he just wanted me "alive"... My baby son (then 8) loved me and was already grieving knowing he would not be hugging his  "cushy" momma for much longer... My adult son supported me, but only knew an obese mom all his 21 years- AND was moving to California and wouldn't even see me for over a year post op... I chose the surgery because I truly believed it was my last , best shot at living an active life for my 8 year old. I chose the surgery because I HOPED and PRAYED my outside would, for the first time, begin to reflect the "me' that had been so longing to show up - but had been so well hidden within the moat for so long. The mechanics of the surgery were typical.  Ouch.  Pain pump. Walk and walk.  I purposed to follow aftercare protocol.  I did not get my guts cut opened and rearranged to fail. Nope - failure was not an option - not this time. From clear liquids, to liquids to puree to soft foods to solid foods I struggled to learn and took good care of my pouchie.  She did not get teased with sugar.  Not tested. Nope.  Haven't had refined, added sugar since 1 month prior to surgery .  I've had fructose or sug alcohols, sure, but no white stuff.  I was always too afraid pouchie would like it and I'd be doomed.  I DID tempt her with some select fried foods like 2 or 3 french fries or 1 chicken tender - INFREQUENTLY, but for the most part, my new pouch was treated like the queen she was.  I chose to "honor her" and treat her with respect. Okay, I'm well aware to refer to my pouch as "her" may seem wacky, but at the time it was easier to care about "her" than to care about "me".  I had years of self-medicating with food.  Years of dieting and failing and beating myself up in that vicious cycle of self-inflicted pain - eat more, guilt, driven to eat more, guilt, etc.   When my "pouch" became my new best friend, I was able to care more about the new-baby-healing than me...  I honestly believe by regarding my "pouch" as an entity, that it helped me NURTURE me better. Complications set in - life threatening, but each overcome with an intense desire to LIVE LIFE more ABUNDANTLY! 1. Bi-lateral pulmonary embolism - 6 weeks post op - BUT the 40 lb lost saved my life!  40lb no longer crowding my lungs allowed me to breathe when the clots were trying to suffocate me. 2. Bowel obstruction 2.5 years later.  28% mortality rate (gee - the RNY was 2%!) - weight dropping so low - I looked like a skeleton - size 2/4. 3. Gall bladder with hernia & obstruction 1 year after 1st bowel obstruction. All cleaned up, surgically removed any junk  healed and that is HISTORY!  I've lived at goal for over 3  years now - from 26 to 2/4 back up to a healthy size 10/12 where I've remained for 3.5 years!!! This 51 year old gal (that I am) completed the Chicago Breast Cancer 3-Day, Aug 10 - 12.  That's 60 miles of walking in 3 days for Breast Cancer awareness. This formerly - non-athletic person is now an athlete.  I love to move and sweat and treat my body like the machine she is and was created to be. I eat to fuel.  I drink to hydrate and realize that if I'm thirsty that I'm already DEHYDRATED - so I drink!!!   I have been AMAZED at what this machine can do!  I can walk  from town to town  & am amazed at the distance!!  My legs are strong and my heart is healthier than EVER - the leaky tri-cuspid & mitral valves overshadowed with HEALTH. (my cardiologist is so proud!) What I am declaring is this:  the ME that I always believed I was inside - free, active, joyful, capable, confident - IS, indeed the real me.  I am becoming what I was designed to be from the beginning and at 51, am truly realizing that "these are the good old days"!!! Now being paid to say words (how cool is that - to be paid to talk! woo hoo!) I'm working on a book and am blogging my oft times crazy world at:    www.judeswords.typepad.com I'm eternally grateful for this life.  What a gift! I am posting here to say:  I KNOW I would not be here, today, were it not for the WLS.  It not only saved my life - it RESTORED the life I was destined to live...  The challenges of learning how to navigate in the post-op world PALE by comparison to the joy of living a healthy life.  How cool is that!

Thanks for taking the time to write this and share it. Just two years out myself, I wonder about life at 5 years...10 years...20 years. And it helps to see your success.

What  a blessing  for  you  share all  you  have  been  through !!!  Thank  you  so  much  you  are  an  inspiration  to  many  and  a  encouragement to  everyone!!!  We  are  so  glad  you   choose   your  surgery  and you  are  a  fine  example  that  one  can  do  it !!!!  May  book   be  a  blessing  to  others  also !!!  Thanks  again  for  sharing  ...  Tami

Thank you so much for sharing your story.  I'm almost two years out and just this morning was wondering if I would ever feel "normal."  I still live my day-to-day life with the mindset of a post-WLS person.  I can't quite quantify exactly what that means, but I'm mindful every day about the fact that I had surgery and what that means for me.  I've been wondering lately if I'll ever have a "normal" relationship with food and just make the right, healthy choices out of real habit.  Today, it's still a conscious choice every day and I know I could still slip back into my old, carb-grazing habits.  I someday hope to achieve what you have, and again, thank you for sharing your story. Kellie

Kellie, I've been watching "normal" people for awhile now - those who are thin and I've learned that most "normal" people (never obese, never sickly skinny - just kinda average) actually DO make conscious choices "to" or "not to" eat/drink something.  I've got one friend - always a "healthy size" - not skinny just LEAN -  who counts out M&M's to put in her snack baggie to take to work.  She COUNTS out  whatever her portion size is and that's it.  I've learned by watching her.   It gets to a place where we make NORMAL choices and go on: not with a pre-op mindset or  post op mindset - but a Human-being  gotta fuel sometimes gotta enjoy the food sometimes mindset who desires to CONTROL her/his desires FOR THE MOST PART. How cool is that.  We are learning what so many people already knew - but we're LEARNING to make those good CONSCIOUS choices! By the way - the day to day is exactly how I reached 6 years - one day at a time!  Just think - if you consciously have made pretty good choices for almost 2 years now, that means that you've probably made over  (at just 10 choices per day) over 7000 + CONSCIOUS choices .  You are REPROGRAMMING your amazing "computer brain" - daily - with EACH little "good decision"!  That's awesome!!!! I'm proud of you!

You're a real inspiration. I'm a little more than one year post-op and I love to hear success stories. You actually walked 60 miles in 3 days? My moher died from breast cancer a couple of years ago, and I've considered doing the walk myself, but I'm not quite up to that yet. I'm going to attempt an 8-mile walk a week from Saturday, and I'm scared, but I think I can do it. Thank you so much for your post.

Wanda, my heart breaks for the loss of your mom to breast cancer.  It is a nasty thief that kills someone every 13 minutes of every day, of every week of every year...  The love for my 47 year old cousin - battling stage 4 w/ 4 kids  - moved me to DO something.  Even after having lost the weight and maintaining - I was still not regular w/ exercise. But, LOVE is a funny thing.  Love is a powerful thing.  My love for Karen moved me off the couch to train.  My first walk was only 1 mile. then 1.5, then 2 and...  Each step praying for her health and the eradication of this disease. What happened transformed me - I began truly ENJOYING the activity. I loved feeling so strong and physically powerful.  What began for someone else now continued for me. Train - in honor of your mom.  Walk, knowing you are raising awareness and are "doing" something.  You'll find transformation in the journey - as you grow stronger and more passionate in the fight.  You'll also look back one day, and realize that YES you DID complete 60 miles - 3 - miles at a time - and you did it with thousands of others  who were moved by love to DO something... Wanda, you might check out my blog titled: "You CAN teach old dogs"  about a friend by the name of Abby-Jill and her battle to live and her participation IN THE 3-DAY WALK!!! (5 days after chemo!)    If you're interested I'd be happy to email the link to ya!        If Abby-Jill (given 1 year to live - 2 years ago!) can walk - ANYONE can! Listen to your body on your upcoming walk - don't expect her to do much more than what you've trained her to do -  train a few times between now and then - then GO!  If you're not already -  research "walking training schedules" online - there are numerous resources out there! I'm proud of you!   Let me know about the 8!

Happy Anniversary and Congratulations on all of your success! You give me hope for a future of maintaining well and living a full, healthy life for a long, long time! Thanks for sharing!

Tracy, you are a vibrant example to this board of successfully maintaining - doing your very best to insure that FULL, HEALTHY life for a long, long time!  Thank YOU for always faithfully supporting those who look up to your shining example !

Wow, how inspiring a story of your success at WLS surgery in spite of some set backs.  I truly believe God will never give us more than we can handle (1 Corinthians 10:13) and that we can grow and learn from what others would call set backs.  I am glad you are doing so well and can be a walking (running) testimony to the success of WLS and what is the result of following the "pouch rules".  Thanks for sharing....