Keepin' it REAL! I am off the Rollercoaster!

So true Anita and so helpful to re-read.  At 3.5 years out, I've gained about 10-12 lbs, but feel rotten and know I'm failing and it's because of much of what you have written.  For me, at least, carbs and sugar ARE addictions and while I thought I could control them, I'm beginning to realize that they control me.  Thanks for the encouragement to detox the house - with a pool that draws a houseful of family and company all summer, working 60-70 hours per week and trying to complete my bachelor's degree, I've let anything and everything de-rail me from eating properly.  I grab whatever is fast and convenient and it's generally not the best choice.  My vitamins and supplements are in the drawer beside me and I it's time to get back on track.  Thanks for the encouragement.  I was thinking last evening that I needed to establish some level of accountability again and so I will by checking in here with people who understand the risk and the never-ending battle.  Thanks, Julia 

Hey Mol~ Can you get a witness??  RIGHT HERE!  I have been struggling again.  I haven't had any regain, but I am sure if I keep it up I will!!  Funny thing, I think it was Tracy who said it ~ when I am back to the basics I feel SO GREAT!  So, why sabatoge it with eating ...carbs...Carbs...CArbs...CARbs...CARBs  I think you get my point.  Why do I do it?  That's the next step in this game as far as I am concerned.  I am trying to figure out where this is coming from.  I honestly don't think I am an emotional eater.  Yet, maybe I am.  I KNOW I am a bordom eater and I am totally influenced by commercials on TV.  Why am I sharing this with you, who knows.  But, the point is, I am trying to understand the WHY's of this lifelong addiction.  I think once I get back to the basics, I have to address the why the heck am I doing this?!?!   Another thought, I am NOT gonna give up.  And I am tired of the SHAME I feel when I fall of the wagon.  I mean come on.  Everyone, EVERY single ONE of us does it.  If you don't do it, then you have a new addiction, it's called control.  Personally, I think you have just shifted from one eating disorder *overeating* to another *managing/measuring/monitoring your eating* and I am not sure that's healthy either.  Well, it's healthier for you body...LOL.    So, even if just last month I was ROCKIN' and ROLLIN' and this month I am SUCKIN' I am gonna post about it.    Why be quiet?  Why the shame?  Are there gonna be people who say "I knew she couldn't do it?"  Yeah, there are, but there are also gonna be people encouraged to know that I am struggling.  Just like I am encouraged to know that you are struggling.  I am not DELIGHTING in your struggle, rather COMMISERATING with you.  I am proud of you for getting back on.  I am supporting you when you are down.  And lastly, I am cheering really loudly for you when you succeed.   So, what does this boil down to ~  YOU GO GIRL! 

(((Becky)))  Thanks for your words on encouragement. I truely appreciate your willingness to commiserate, LOL!  We truely need to keep coming here even when we are suckin' like you said. That is the key. If we become wounded avoiders out of shame and humiliation when we are not doing well we are only hurting ourselves. When I feel bad like that I just go make some cookies with my 4 year old....  That is NOT doing anyone a favor, me or her!  So, thanks for the shout out I needed it! You are so right about staying the course. I feel much better with protein first and avoiding sugars all together. When I do this I feel so much better physically as well as mentally. huge hugs, Molly