We're All Scared

I love these lines in your post.   I am important and I will come first. I have been so unable to do that!   I was watching a show where it said that we learn this from our mothers.  My mother never saw herself as important and never put herself first.  She has ended up being unable to be there for any of her children, her kids, her grandchildren, or her husband.  She was unable even to be there for her own mom -- to show up for her funeral, or visit her as she lay dying.  I think this is both a big part of why I am where I am and a big part of why I so much want to change.  I am important and I will come first. I want to say it a hundred times.   Thanks for this.

Well it took me almost 20 years of marriage to put myself first.  Funny how now I am doing so much better because I feel I am important, and it has helped every relationship that I have.  Family, friends and coworkers.  I wish you the best..... 

I am really hoping to follow in your footsteps!  I am just finishing day 3 and boy does it feel good to put myself first.  Deciding what is right for me before all else... and I have to tell you, food because so much less important when you are doing stuff you want to do!! 

Do you attend a local support group?  I really think this helps and I've seen improvement in those who have gained and decide they are going to make a change with accountability.  Not all support groups are created equal but if you don't have one available you can always start one!

Bonny,   I used to go to one that essentially disbanded but you are right, it made a big difference.  It also helped when my surgeon was still practicing as he had a list serve and a newsletter he sent out.  But now I am basically on my own.  I reached out several times to try to start one but it hasn't been successful so far.  But I still will keep trying. 

Wow, turns out a lot of us seem to have this problem!  I just had this same conversation with a friend last week, that this is going to be MY year.  I'm putting ME ahead of my husband, my kids, my job, housecleaning and errands.  Me, me, me, me, me!!!!!  My schedule comes first this year and everyone else will have to fit around that.  That includes doctors and exercise and anything else I need for me to get on track.  And I'm going to do it without feeling guilty about it.  (I hope.....)

With me it is about taking responsbility as well for making the RIGHT choices.  This weekend, I did.  I chose to eat only when I was hungry on Saturday and that came to 2 meals for the day and no snacking at all!  I chose to eat 3 meals with no snacks on Sunday -- to go to a fancy restaurant for dinner rather than eat at home alone.  And I chose to make incredibly wise choices with that dinner.  Tuna tartar, snapper, and a taste of strawberry shortcake, with 1 glass of wine.  Lots and lots of water.   Today I go back to work -- for me this is where I typically fall off the wagon.  I am single but I have a very stressful, high level job and to keep it, it seems, I have been putting everything about it before everything else.  So my challenge starts in a few hours.  I'm scared.  Really truly frightened.  I just do not want this to be another weekend for me of PLANS that never materialize.  I want this to be the weekend I did it.  The weekend where I turned this around and it became the YEAR OF ME.  I'm sitting here trying to figure out what's the best way to make today like Saturday and Sunday.  And it is hard to think about. Such a long, stressful day ahead.  I need to do this.  I have to do this.  This job cannot do this to me.  I love it and want to keep it but I won't be able to if I can't manage it. 

Since snacking seems to be a downfall for a lot of post ops I really try to help our support group with on hand "smart choice" snacks.  I personally love beets and pickeled eggs.  I never did for the first 40 years of my life but now find they keep me very full and satisfied.  I buy a jar of beets and then make my own hard boiled eggs. (I like to know what I'm eating is fresh).   I also keep Fresh Mozzarella, tomatoes, and basil on hand for a quick salad.   It is funny that you shared you find it so challenging as a single person.  I often envy the single life.  With three teenagers and a husband, I find that I am always in the kitchen cooking something.  My weekend meals consist of alot of baking (brownies, peach cobbler, strombolis, slow-cooked beef on weck) as well as ordering out pizza, wings, and subs.  I often wish I was just cooking for me.  I drink my coffee in the morning and then a protein drink. and just try to keep on track for lunch and dinner.  It sounds as if you are doing a wonderful job making the right decisions and I hope this week keeps you strong!

Thank you so much for all the ideas, Bonny and the support.  It really is hard for everyone, I guess.  No matter who you are or what your cir****tances.   I have to tell you I feel so much better after 3 days. 

i am sooooo  with this... i realized after coming back on the boards, that my fat arsss needed to stop eating all the junk and blaming the weight on my two boys. now that i have been searching and seeing everyone either keep the weight off or are new loosing, i started to realize that i was that person at one time. i told myself that i have been through tooooooo much to loose the weight that, i needed to look at old pics and tell myself that i wanna be there again. so daily i keep a blog on my profile and put everything that goes into my mouth. to date i have lost 4 lbs... yay!!!!