I need help! Im so scared!

Hi my name is Bambi, I had my rny surgery on april 18th 2005.  I have scince then been doing great up until the past 10 months.  I ended up getting pregnat with my second child. who is now almost three months old.  Love him to death, any how i haven't been loving myself.   When I found out i was prego my biggest fear was gaining weight, yet it didn't stop me from abusing every single thing I had learned previously.  I started eating and drinking, drinking carbonated drinks, calorie containing bevies like starbucks light fraps. and I also quit drinking water, too much coffee intake and no exercise.   I had my episodes of dumping but it still didn't stop me.  My lowest weight witch was my goal 140 i hit below that for one day.  I then krept back up to about 150 through a nasty sepreration and then I found out i was pregnat.  At delivery I weighed 199.  I have then dropped down to 176.   I am so scared I am not losing and I need support I am scared and unhappy with myself.  I feel overwhelmed right now with my two kids and dealing with my marriage that I am trying to work on .  On top of that I am starting nursing school in only a few week I have to go to school so i can provide for my children.  I am seriously in poverty and I don't want that for my kids.   Someone please help me with support.  I am begging! I don't want to be at 257 ever again.  I feel so stuck and lost. this surgery was the best thing besides my beautiful kids that has ever happened to me.  why am i messing it up?  

We all fight the same battle. It's the head that loses. Even when the hearts in it. Take baby steps back to health. Stay away from starbucks, drink your water, and get up and move! One step at a time. We are in this together... all of us.

thanks, I am just trying to figure out where to fit in the exercise into my extremly busy life style now.  I spend hours studying and taking care of my four year old and my newborn baby, plus the everyday stuff.  when and where will I fit it in.  I have to get up at 5am and I don't get to bed until after midnight.  I am not trying to make excuses, i just am not sure what to do , i didn't have this problem a year ago.

you have a 4 year old-use that time with your child to "exercise"-play!!!!! exercise doesn't have to be structured or include dumbells or machines...walk...walk with a stroller holding the little one and use a good pace...? hugs to you

You've taken the most important first step - you've acknowledged that you have a problem and that you're willing to work on it!   Now, get an exercise tape (I like the old Richard Simmons Sweatin' to the Oldies).  If you don't want to buy one, your public library probably has some you can check out or maybe you can borrow one from a friend.  When your baby is down for a nap, grab your 4 yr old and pop in the tape and the 2 of you get out on the floor and have fun!!  If you can't find a tape, just turn on the radio and "dance" with your kids.  When my boys were young, they always loved it when I "danced" with them.   Put the baby in a stroller and take the 4 yr old and go "exploring".  Walk as quickly as you can with your little one, and every few minutes "race" him/her to the next corner, hill, tree stump, light post, mailbox. or whatever.  It isn't easy to fit exercise into your life but it can be done!  You just have to remember that you are important, too, just as important as anyone or anything else.  It isn't being selfi**** is being sensable!!  You will be better able to be a mother, wife & student if you take care of yourself and you'll be able to give & do more for others if you first give to yourself.   Good luck! Vickie J.

Okay, so you gained 26 lbs with pregnancy.  That's not so bad at all!  Now, you live the life of a normal person and work to get it off, only you still have the advantage of your wls to give you an edge.  YOU CAN DO THIS!!   YOU WILL DO THIS!!!   I haven't a doubt in my mind.

thanks so much for all the advice from everyone.  I can do this, i have to!

Hi Bambi. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of emotions right now and it's really normal to be a bit overwhelmed. Clearly you are a hard-working and dedicated person who was able to reach her goals and part of moving forward will be figuring out how to continue to care for yourself while trying to juggle a lot of different tasks. I think it would be helpful to spend some time journaling about how you're feeling and what's going on when you tend to eat a bit more than you'd like - do you eat more when you're stressed? when you're feeling alone? I bet you'll see a pattern that you can identify and you can then come up with some strategies to combat these. Maybe you'll say, "Ok, before I have the latte, I am going to write an email to a friend or call my sister/mom/uncle and just say hi." You might find that by reaching out more, you'll manage your food choices differently. But please don't beat yourself up about this -it's an issue we ALL struggle with. And as for school coming up, it might help to make a schedule and plan some treats into your day. If there are certain foods you really love, I think you should have them, just plan to have them, that way you won't feel guilty and you can work your diet around your fun foods. Hope this helps! -Kathy

Hi Bambi: You sound like superwoman to me. I wonder how someone could juggle getting pregnant, giving birth while dealing with a separation, raising two young kids, and starting nursing school WITHOUT gaining weight. Honestly, the fact that you've been able to manage all of those transitional, stressful elements in your life and lose 20 pounds means you are strong. You are stronger, probably, than you give yourself credit for. When we are struggling with trying to lose weight, we tend to be really hard on ourselves. We repeat negative thoughts to ourselves, and down play our accomplishments. We rarely remember to be gentle with ourselves, even when that's exactly what we need. Here's some tips that have helped me before when trying to get back on track: 1) Have a mantra. "I am the strong mother of two children" is something I think fits well. Whatever the phrase, it needs to be personal to you and a reminder of what you've achieved so far. 2) Remind yourself that you're in a transitional phase. Picture yourself a year from now. You'll be a year through nursing school, and your kids will be a little bit older. Your routine with school and the kids will be solidified. Remember that when you're not sure how you're going to fit in the studying and childcare . . . this is the time when you're hammering those details out. Try different things and vary your schedule until one way feels right. 3) Don't let the "old Bambi" habits cloud the mind of the "new Bambi". You are in a different place than you were when you were at your highest weight. Your body and mind have been forever changed. Now that you're in a stressful period, it may be tempting to revert back to your old ways. But remember that your old habits just don't fit into your new lifestyle. When you find yourself doing something like going to Starbuck's instead of exercising, say to yourself "that's what the old Bambi did, and I know that I'll be less stressed after I exercise." Bambi, I know that you're on your way to being the happiest you've ever been! The fact that you're going to nursing school is wonderful. Your role as a mom, as a professional and as a member of the community will only benefit through this experience. I want you to look inside yourself and embrace the strength that I see in you just from your post! Feel free to write to me anytime or post to me. Be strong, be happy - Joanna