Venting "newbies in my support group"
Nope, giving up is not an option. I mean, I'm 13 yrs, beein involved in and/or leading support groups since day 7 of my surgery. If I had the proverbial nickel for every time I've heard, "Well, I can eat so little, I'll never gain the wt back.", I would be rollin' in dough. Sometimes I have to step back and just bang my head against the wall.
If I vented TO them or here (after all, many are newbies), then where would they run when they realize their "program" didn't work? As it is, the best you can do is work your program, share with others, and try not to let the judgment/disappointment/frustrtation/need to slap show on your face. I'm sure there are times when I fail, but if I can pull it off, then later I can "be here" for someone when they ARE ready to get with real life.
In 13 yrs, I've made my share of idiocies, of course, but then I can speak from experience. How I fooled myself into thinking one piece of fudge was ok. One in every state on a 25 state tour? How about every town? How about I stop buying a bite and just buy 1/4 lb? Or 1/2 lb or just keep 1 lb in my fridge? I mean, DUH?!?!
Been there, had 3 small regains, had to fight to get back to my good wt, but now I can be more sympathetic than I was before, KWIM?
SOMEONE has to stay and toss out the life rafts, you know?
If I vented TO them or here (after all, many are newbies), then where would they run when they realize their "program" didn't work? As it is, the best you can do is work your program, share with others, and try not to let the judgment/disappointment/frustrtation/need to slap show on your face. I'm sure there are times when I fail, but if I can pull it off, then later I can "be here" for someone when they ARE ready to get with real life.
In 13 yrs, I've made my share of idiocies, of course, but then I can speak from experience. How I fooled myself into thinking one piece of fudge was ok. One in every state on a 25 state tour? How about every town? How about I stop buying a bite and just buy 1/4 lb? Or 1/2 lb or just keep 1 lb in my fridge? I mean, DUH?!?!
Been there, had 3 small regains, had to fight to get back to my good wt, but now I can be more sympathetic than I was before, KWIM?
SOMEONE has to stay and toss out the life rafts, you know?
Michelle
RNY, distal, 10/5/94
P.S. My year + long absence has NOTHING to do with my WLS, or my type of WLS. See my profile.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I stay here, just on Q&A, as well as being on yahoo grads with the long termers as we get into really deep 10-15-20 yr issues & mostly, we have to help ourselves because most docs haven't been doing them that long or the ones who did them 20 yrs ago are retired.
Since my surgery i***** many of my long term buddies from around the country have gotten positions with WLS surgeons, theirs or if he retired/moved, etc. And without fail, one will ask me, after about 3 months, how I do what I do, day in/day out and not scream.
But here is what I do to be able to stay in the newbie community. I look at one, just one that I have helped. Maybe they were not losing or very ill nourished or unable to comply with a bad program. And maybe JUSTONE THING I SAID turned it around for them and they are successful, are within their wt range (even we don't just park at one number), their labs are good,, very good, not just passable. Some are even leading support groups in their area or just mentoring newbies. For every 10 that make me go smack my head on the wall, there is ONE who believed what I said, pracrticed it and is "wearing" the result so even I can't miss it when I thinkwhat I do is a waste of time.
So, next time you see one of your 2-3 yr ppl, study them and if they look good, holding a reasonable wt, getting good labs . that's enough. If they are mentoring others, BONUS. Your time and your words are not wasted if they save even just ONE from being a newspaper statistic, you know?
Since my surgery i***** many of my long term buddies from around the country have gotten positions with WLS surgeons, theirs or if he retired/moved, etc. And without fail, one will ask me, after about 3 months, how I do what I do, day in/day out and not scream.
But here is what I do to be able to stay in the newbie community. I look at one, just one that I have helped. Maybe they were not losing or very ill nourished or unable to comply with a bad program. And maybe JUSTONE THING I SAID turned it around for them and they are successful, are within their wt range (even we don't just park at one number), their labs are good,, very good, not just passable. Some are even leading support groups in their area or just mentoring newbies. For every 10 that make me go smack my head on the wall, there is ONE who believed what I said, pracrticed it and is "wearing" the result so even I can't miss it when I thinkwhat I do is a waste of time.
So, next time you see one of your 2-3 yr ppl, study them and if they look good, holding a reasonable wt, getting good labs . that's enough. If they are mentoring others, BONUS. Your time and your words are not wasted if they save even just ONE from being a newspaper statistic, you know?
Michelle
RNY, distal, 10/5/94
P.S. My year + long absence has NOTHING to do with my WLS, or my type of WLS. See my profile.
Kriola, I am one week post op (lap band) and have attended 2 support groups. There is another lady in the group that is also a lap band and told us last night about going to McD's and eating a Big Mac and large ff. I had to feel to see if my mouth dropped open! What was she thinking?? I too get upset with people giving advise/hints about how to eat around you tool. It is always the people that are not at their goal weight after more thatn 18 months out. Like I told my doctor, I did not go to this extreme to cheat! Thanks for showing me that I am not the only one that is upset by all this nonsense.
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