Venting "newbies in my support group"

Thanks Wanda, sometime I want to give up.

When people hear that I have had WLS I always hear the same story about so and so having it and it not working for them.  I try to explain, it is not that the surgery didn't work for them. it is that they didn't work the surgery..... I don't understand why people don't understand you are still accountable for your actions.  If a few weeks out you abuse your food intake what makes them think that a few years out they will be successful..  My postop diet was very strict and I followed to a "T", I knew that if I was successful early out that one day I could enjoy a bite of this or that.  Today 19 months out I will enjoy a bite a icecream or even that snickers bar  (only a bite maybe two) but that is all I want.  I just don't understand why people would go through all of this to abuse the wonderful tool that they were given.  My good friend had the surgery a year or so before me and never reached goal, she has actually started gaining weight but she drinks cokes, enjoy her alcoholic beverages, sweets and so on.  She just can't understand why I reached goal early out and she never did.  I have the answer but she doesnt' want to hear it, I followed the plan and she didn't  Sometimes the truth hurts!!! 

Jodi, I think they need some counseling.  I also feel one woman has never tried to diet before in her life.  I have to keep in mind that they are younger than I (in their 20's) and maybe a little imature.

i am one of those who "never reached goal". I know the mistakes I made and continue to make. If it were that easy... I would not struggle as I do. My dr. stopped practicing and I have no one to motivate and counsel me except this board. Be kind... supportive... None of us had this surgery with the intention of abusing the tool. None of us. I hope you continue to do well but please work to understand those of us who continue to struggle.

I never meant to be ugly and never said it was easy.  That was my point it is not easy but I am accountable for my actions.   I was just stating some facts with people that I know.  They had the surgery thinking this was a cure all and they would not have to work at it.  I honestly understand how hard it is.  I was the biggest sugar addict there was.  It has been a lot of work and I do have to face my demons daily.   My friend came out of surgery and a week later was eating things that was not on her surgeons protocol, I have been there for her but she is accountable for her own actions.  She knows that what she is doing is wrong but doesn't want to change.  She is struggling because she is not willing to change her bad habits and even with this surgery if you don't change your habits you won't get the results you want.  I am not talking about everyone I was talking about someone that wants results without working for them.   I honestly don't think I was being unkind nor being supportive.  I was just telling the original poster I understood her vent.   Sorry if you felt I was unkind that was not my intention.

Jodi,  It's ok. I am probably just a little sensitive because it is a daily struggle. Daily. I remember that quick weight loss in the beginning and its probably the thing that drove me to pick up that first demon cracker. My apologies. The truth is I find so many folks on here whe haven't won the head battle. I think the after care for this surgery is not what it should be. And there should be more pre-counseling to make sure we figure out why our first reach is for food.  Right now.. I am going to the gym about 4 mornings a week. I've doubled my water. I'm back on vitamins and protein and I'm working to take care of me. At 50 years old I ran my first 5K a few weeks ago and cried as I crossed the finish. Was I first ... NO... (more like last but I ran... and thats all that matters! I won't give up and my goal is not to be a sze 10 but to be a healthier me.  Best of luck to you.

Helen Point taken,  I am trying to understand. I guess I am frustrated because I cannot find a way to help them turn this around.  They have not gained weight because they are early out.  It;'s the future that is going to bite them in the bum.  I hope you find the answers, the means to overcome your struggle. Wishing you the best MaryLyn

When I hear things like this here on the boards or at my support group meetings it makes me sad. Whenever anyone asks the ? What's the best advice you can give me on wls I always say "follow your dr's order to a "T" and don't stray from your plan at all during the first 18mths"~it just isn't worth it. You have a limited amount of time to drop weight quickly so why waste that time?? Now that I am2.5yrs post op I do allow myself some things not on the original plan, but I also keep them in limited quantities and watch the scale closely~if I see a gain then I get back to work and those things are off limits again for awhile. We can't be "perfect" with our eating plans forever, but with taking such a drastic action like having wls why would you commit half way?!?! Good Luck with your group.

Thanks Tracy, Everytime I ask about dr's protocol no one knows.  I may ask them on their next visit to get taht information and share it with the group. Better yet I am going to challenge the group to writ down what they eat for 1 week and we can compare it to one another. MaryLyn

I am 6 yrs post op. I was 233 got to 133 now 158. I know this is my fault why I re-gained. How did I reach goal...well my husband left and I had  only enough money to feed my kids...so I basically starved myself to that weight. Now I am doing great. Yes I re-gained....but ya know looking back my surgeon never really set a "goal" for me. I wanted to just be healthy.  Also an issue for me is Coke. I drank them like mad....but after many years of mental and physical abuse I turned to drinking Cokes...unlike the drug and alcohol abusers in my family...this was my crutch. My dr knew that. I have not given up my daily Coke. To this day.....I still have one. I have tried to give up my one a day habit.....but I cant.  I have tasted everything I used to eat in excess.....now it is a taste. I dont really crave things like I did. I had plastic surgery in March and gained about 10 pounds. I have gotten out of my routine of working out due to the "plastics". It is really hard to get back on track. I agree with you about these people who are abusing the tool they have been blessed with. I guess you could say I too am abusing it by drinking Coke. Maybe my mind knows if I give up this one last crutch then I am letting go of the past...a past that will forever haunt me.  It is like a security blanket to me. You cant force people to obey the rules. They have to want to succeed. They have to want to stop eating. It is like smokers....they have to want to quit. All you can do is focus on you. Tell yourself how you defeated obesity...it did not defeat you. I am proud of you. Keep it up...you will make a difference in someones life. Maybe not today but tomorrow. take care Tammy