Venting "newbies in my support group"

I made 4 years post RNY in May of 07.  I would love to have a Snickers bar, Ice Cream and all the other good stuff.  Now mind you I do stray but know that I have to pull back if I am to maintain my 214/212 lb loss.  I run a support group at work with some fairly new post op and some pre op attendees.  I always stress to the newbies, that it is best not to stray, don't test the wtaers if you are not supposed to have it at 6 months out then please do all you can not too.  Some day you can have it again in limited quantities. I HAVE FOLKS WHO ARE 6 - 8 MONTHS OUT EATING FREAKIN SNICKERS BARS, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT????  WHY???  SHOULD i JUST GIVE UP? DO i KEEP DRILLING IT INTO THEIR HEADS THEY ARE WRONG???  I have bitten a snickers bar yes, just to taste it but the whole freakin thing at 6 months out never. Ok  vent over enjoy your weekend. MaryLyn

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, MaryLyn.  All you can do is try to educate folks about how to make healthy choices.  The choices they make, however, are up to them.  These folks will either learn to eat healthier and stop making bad food choices, or they won't.  And they'll be the ones complaining that WLS didn't work for them.  The truth will be that they didn't work their WLS.   I say keep up your efforts with the support group, even if it's frustrating some times.  Although you may not get through to everyone, it's worth it even if you only help a couple people.   Good luck on your continuing journey -  Kellie

You are so right.  The same person who told me she eats snickers bars come out of the vending machine room today w/ cheezits. (sp)  I remember her at 6 wks out eating an entire bad\g of popcorn.  Oh well, not my problemo, but she is losing so slowlllllllllllyyyyyyyy. MaryLyn

I can certainly see how this would be VERY frustrating for you, but just remember that you cannot make other peoples' choices. If someone had made my choices for me early on, I would not have ended up needing this surgery in the first place!! I agree with Kellie  that you should continue on for the sake of the ones who actually DO get it and are benefiting from your experience. And, maybe one day you will go back and be able to say "I told you so" to the others! Not MUCH consolation, but some maybe.... Thanks for all that you do for those who DO get it!!!!     Hugs,   Piggybabe

Hi piggybabe, I just try to lead, cannot make their choices for them true.  I never comment on what anyone is eating outside of our meetings.  Just bite my tongue.  We have a good group though, RNY, lap band even a pregnant woman who never had surgery but is pregnant and wants the advice of the nutritionist who attend and council... Thanks for your response. MaryLyn

Hi, MaryLyn!  I quit going to my support group for just that reason!!!  And it wasn't all newbies!!!!  It seemed to be a group of people just sharing how much they could eat and get away with before dumping!  That is NOT the kind of support I need!!  The one group I got a lot out of was just run by a "regular" guy - but he disbanded it a year ago so now I come here for my support!!  Keep trying - you're doing a great service!!!!!

Thanks Connie, I am not giving up yet.   I also run a group at the hospital where I had my surgery, I think I am going to disband that one though.  Not many in attendance anymore.  MaryLyn

Linda, The difference for me is I get fuller faster, I too struggle with hunger I have since 6 months out but if I eat a little protein that hunger goes away.  I make my meal and have it in two parts.  If I have eggs in the morning, mid morning I will have fruit,  Lunch if I have a salad with protein I will have a yogurt or fruit later in the day.  That is the only way I avoid getting into trouble.  The surgery helped you I imagine because of your mind set, you know what you have to do to keep things in control.  I am not perfect oh I do stray but I know I have to bring back together and take control.  I still get full after a little food, so that is one thing that is helping.  I do not always get sick and never did in the early stages is was feeling full that helped, oh I wanted to eat for sure but I knew I couldn't/shouldn't. I know I have not answered your questions fully but I need to go right now, write back if you'd like. And thank you for your compliment on my weight loss.  Keep up the good work. MaryLyn

I will be a WLS grad in 10 more days. I have spent hours on the RNY board over the past year, and it is a little distressing to see what some people believe will happen with this surgery. Things like, "I know I'll never be able to eat ice cream again." A lot of people think the surgery will take care of everything and you don't have to be accountable for anything. It would be nice if it was that easy. Something clicked in me a few weeks ago, after all this time, that what we eat and how active we are really has a lot to do with weight and health. It seems so simple, I don't know why I couldn't understand it before. It's sure nice of you to try to help those people though, and good luck with it.