So depressed...

Hi - I haven't posted for awhile, but thought maybe if I start seeking support again, I'll do better.  I'm 5 years out and have regained 110 of the 220 pounds I lost.  I legitimately blame 60 of it on a failed surgery 4 years ago (choose your plastic surgeons VERY carefully!), but the other 50 is all me.  It's like I never had gastric bypass.  I think, eat, and act just like I did 5 years ago before WLS.  I was SOOOO happy for that first year, the last 4 years have sucked.  If I don't do something NOW, the other 110 is going to come back too and I can't bear the thought.  On the flip side, I haven't changed my destructive behavior either.  I know all the things to do, I know what works for me, I know how, I just don't.  I've have counseling, that hasn't helped.  Why can't I get back in the game?!  I must reverse this pattern, why is it so hard?

Sounds  like  you  could  use a  big  hug .... ((((((Jen))))))   ....   You are  headed  in  the  right  direction  by   posting  on  the   board  ..   I  want  to  encourage  you  keep  posting  and  let  others   encourage  you  ...  You  can  accomplish  your  goal  again ..   Atittude  is  a  big  part   of  it   keep  telling  your  sell  that  you  can  do  this !!    I   know  for  my  self  I   need  support   more  since  I  reached  goal  than  I   did   getting  to   goal ...  Come  on  girl  jump   back  on  the  Loser  wagon  and  lets  get  on  down  the   journey ...   You   can  do  it !!!   :-)  Sending  you  lots  of  hugs  of  encouragement.... ((((((((((Jen)))))))))))) 

You can get back on track. Do it for yourself, you are worth it.

Sher

HI JEN, I'M BEATING MYSELF UP TOO, FOR GAINING 25 LBS. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING WRONG AND CAN'T STOP MYSELF RIGHT NOW. I'M UNDER A HUGE AMOUNT OF STRESS AND ON A NEW ANTI-DEPRESSANT AND BOTH DO NOT HELP AT ALL. I'M SPENDING MORE TIME AT MY SONS HOUSE IN FLA THAN AT HOME IN OHIO, WHICH SOUNDS GOOD, BUT ISN'T ALL THE TIME (ISSUES WITH GRANDKIDS AND THEIR HEALTH). I KNOW HOW YOU ARE FEELING AND I HOPE YOU GET BACK ON THE WAGON, ALONG WITH ME. THE THOUGHT OF GAINING 110 LBS SCARES THE DICKENS OUT OF ME AND YET, I SEE MYSELF DOING IT, AND I HATE THAT THOUGHT. I'M STARTING TO EXERCISE MORE, WASN'T DOING ALL THAT MUCH LATELY, AND WATCHING MY SWEETS, MY DOWNFALL!!! ANYWAY, HOPE YOU REALIZE WHAT'S WRONG AND DEAL WITH IT AND GET BACK TO BEING THIN AGAIN. I'M THERE WITH YOU, WANTING TO LOSE THE WEIGHT AND CAN'T. HURTS, DOESN'T IT? FRUSTRATING AS HELL AND DEPRESSING IN ITSELF, WE DON'T NEED THIS STRESS ALONG WITH EVERYTHING ELSE!!! AND WITH THAT, I'M OUTTA HERE, GOOD LUCK IN GETTING STARTED AGAIN. I KEEP TELLING MYSELF, I DID IT BEFORE AND I CAN DO IT AGAIN, JUST GET STARTED!!! GOD BLESS, HUGS, SUSIE Q

Hi, First, stop beating yourself up.  Look in the mirror and tell that person (YOU) that she is worth whatever effort it takes to get her healthy again. Second, stop blaming yourself or the doctor you mention.  "I'm a victim" thinking, will keep you from taking control and finding a solution.  I know, I've been there as have most people with weight issues.  This may sound strange, but you have to Forgive yourself and that doctor for whatever he did.  You don't forgive him to let him off the hook, you forgive him and yourself in order to free yourself to move on.    You didn't mention in your post  -  1.  if you had gone back to your WLS surgeon about this regain.  If not, PLEASE, MAKE AN APPOINTMENT NOW.  You need to get labs done to get a new baseline.  There could be a medical reason for your weight gain (i.e.,failed staple line). 2.  if you are taking your vitamins and getting enough protein.  If not, PLEASE, START IMMEDIATELY.   3.  if you are attending a WLS support group.  If not, PLEASE, FIND ONE NEAR YOU.  The truth is (and statistics show that ) -- WLS folks do better in every aspect long-term if they attend a support group.  On line is great, but it is not a substitute for attending a group.  OH has a directory of OH groups or call your local hospitals. 4.  if you are currently seeing a counselor for the emotional issues.  If not, PLEASE, CONSIDER IT AGAIN.  Maybe you didn't work with them long enough or maybe you have a chemical imbalance that would respond to an anti depressant. Taking the step to reach out on this board is a "mustard seed" of faith and hope that can get you moving in the right direction. I'll keep you in my prayers.  CathyA

THANK YOU, everyone!  I always know I can count on this community to be there.  I AM going to be able to do this.  A good friend in college made me a sign, I think it's time to dig it out again:  I can and I WILL. 

I know stress believe me , you can check my profile to see how stressed my life has been the last 4 years. Anyway, I think the best way to get back on track is to start with one simple thing at a time, I know it sounds silly but I know for myself I feel completely overwhelmed and like a failure if I try everything at once. Instead setting goals like "just for the next 2 hours I will not eat any sugar"  makes me stick to it and then feel proud and want to continue. I feel very abnormal if I attempt to not eat sugar completely or give myself too high of an exercise goal. I believe that small goals add up...no sugar for 2 hours and maybe a 10 minute stroll tonite can turn into half a day with no sugar and a 30 minute stroll on Wednesday. I do wish you Luck, Confidence & Courage, because I believe the road we are on takes al that plus Diana RNY 9/17/03 360/200/still aiming at 180

Everyone gains back some amount of weight down the line.  However, because of the fact that you've gained back almost half of what you lost, it's POSSIBLE that you have a staple line disruption OR your stoma is too large.  I would get my RNY doctor to x-ray you to see if everything is working properly and as it should be.  Then, go from there!  It's not the end of the world girl!  Keep your chin up!

 God bless you!

Hi Jen, Your post could have been written by me.  I do believe coming back here was the right step.  You know what to do, the hard part is doing it.  You are NOT alone in this.  The replies that you got here are awesome, these people are pretty great.. :-)  Don't give up, you are worth it ok? Take care, T  

It is hard, extremely hard to retrain our brain.  I'm right there with you, I lost 120 lbs after WLS and have regained 30.  Might seem not quite as ominous as your regain, but regain it is.  Also with it came higher blood sugars for me and extreme frustration and depression. Made some pretty drastic changes over the past 3 weeks, following the sugar busters - low glycemic index diet and have been exercising at least 6 days a week for an hour combination of walking, using 5lb arm weights or a gazelle exerciser and an exercise bike at home.  The results are excruciatingly slow and frustrating.  a 4 lb weight loss followed by a 2 lb regain after just one really bad day of eating at a Bday party.  Took forever for those 2 lbs to come back off again Husband has been following the exact same program and he has lost 12lbs!    The reality (at least for me) is that WLS has in some way thrown a wrench into my ability to lose weight on my own this far out.  Can it still be done I think so, but I cant expect to lose as much as I did or as quickly as I did after the surgery.  I need to focus on the facts and ask myself every day, did I eat well and did I move my body, are my blood sugars in a range I can be happy with.   If I did all this dispite the number on the scale, then it was a successful day. I will say this, I really think that following the sugar busters diet has been the key to releasing the control that carbs had over me.  In just one week of eating low glycemic foods, I no longer have cravings for late night snacking like I use to.  I felt like a junky that needed a fix every evening and my fixes were, oreos and chips, whatever was on hand.  Now a protein shake or a piece of (low glycemic)fruit, are satisfying to me in the evening. I think we can do this, if we stay focused on the little victories along the way. Rosemary