serious head trip from family, insight, advice please?

By the way, there was a post you wrote to someone I saw that had a recipe for a bean dip layered with cream cheese, I wrote it down and made and it was great, I am so glad I ran across it. anything else good, feel free to shoot me an e-mail with some ideas.

I really view this diferently than the first poster.  I don't see envy or jealosuy as being at the root of your sisters oe mom's comments.  I see that are  truly worried about your health.  Your family knew you for a long time as the obese sister/daughter. You have been thin for a relavitivly short time and lets face it, wls is pretty new for most people to understand.  You look "not like yourself" because you have drastically changed your body - for the better.  Since you don't spend all your time with your family, especially for those that see you infrequently, it will take time for them to readjust themselves to seeing you as this new thin person.  I think your sister wanted to be satisfied that you had become thin in a healthy way.  This also seems to be your mom's motive.  I know that one of my brothers is having a hard time seeing me as a thin person even though he would always try to get me to lose weight when I was an obese person.  Now that I am thin, he keeps telling me I look too thin.  He just needs to learn to "see" me as this new thin person, not as my old fat self.  My sister has kept mostly quiet about the weight issue, but she has noticed that I look healthier at some points in time than at others. On those times when I have not looked too healthy, it has been because I hae not been taking vitamins or eating enough.  Take your mom's comments about making sure you are taking your vitamins/supplements regularly with some seriousness.  Mom's especially can tell when their children are healthy or not feeling well. Perhaps you are in need of more vitamins/supplements right now.  Anyway, the point of all this is to say that just as you have had to learn to adjust to life with wls, so does your family and friends.  They should not be expected to immediately adjust to your new body and lifestyle.  it will take them a little time to understand your new life - so let them have some time.  Do take time to explain to them what you have done, why and why this works for you.  If you can educate them, they will adjust faster.  IGood luck.

I do know they love me and that it was truely an initial shock kinda thing, a picture can only show so much...like how my breasts went from a DD to a small C...lol. One thing about it is I have always taken my health seriously and I am compliant with the Dr's orders. I just have been upset with myself for being confused and second guessing myself and what I have been doing for the last two years. I think i'm done giving words power over me.

Good for you.  Once you get to feel peace about yourself, it will be easier to consider what people say without feeling bitterness or hurt.  I think most people who say things about wls do not try to intentionally hurt us, but do not really understand the struggles we as obese people have gone through and what a sacrifice and relief wls is for us.  They can not walk in our shoes if they have not had our struggles. 

Hi Meka, You look incrediable !!!!   I think that your sister is just jealous and if you think that people stare at you....it is probably because you are so beautiful !!!!!   You just hang in there and don't let your sister play those mind games with you.    You pray about it and God will give you peace in this situation.    Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

Thank you Vivian, I really hope sge isn't but prayer is always a great answer! Thanx

*she

Hi, Well, you could almost consider it all a compliment.  How often in your life do people think you are "too thin"????  I went through that.  I got very thin.  When I looked at my pics from back then, I thought I looked great but my face didn't.  People were very concerned about me.  To make a long story short, I gained back about 50 lbs. I went from 107 to 156. About a year ago, I got back on the wagon and started exercising and watching what I eat and lost about 20 lbs.  Yup the tool still works!!  It was so much easier than if I had tried to do this with a diet before surgery.  So I am about 137 right now, a size 8 and I am happy with that.  I could use a nip and tuck but don't have the bucks.  It is very hard to know what is appropriate but our bodies are very good at regulating that if we let it.  Our weight loss goals can be way off from what our body decides we should weigh.  That is why I focus more on clothes sizes instead of weights.  I never was good at  weighing and to this day, I don't own a scale.  My clothes tell me how I am doing. I hope this helps.  Paula

I can't remember ever being thought of as "to thin"....

And I just went to a family wedding where an aunt came up to me and asked if I was OK. When I said I was feeling great, her response was that she thought I looked too thin and that "it has aged you terribly". Well that certainly made me feel like crap the rest of the night. This aunt has called my house since the wedding but I just don't even feel like talking to her. Why do people, especially relatives, think they can say just about anything that pops into their heads??? My husband says to just ignore everyone- he thinks I look great and is constantly complimenting me. My best friend says I look good but she thinks it's time to stop losing (I'm down to 122lbs). These two people are the ones I trust- I'm trying to ignore everyone else. So, go with your gut (or should I say pouch?)- if you feel good, that's all that matters!