After 4 years......

 4 years I had  hoped to be more in control of the food addiction. A perfect example of my food issue was right after my gastric bypass surgery I couln't get enough of the food tv network. I was obsessed with it. The thought of eating food made me sick, as I had no appetite but something abou****ching it on the tv satisfied me. Yes I did lose 140 pounds and I  am  at a healthy weight and  have been for 2 years but that is not due to me working on and  getting in control of my food issues. In all honesty, it is the tools of the surgery that have kept me line. Everyday at least once I thank my surgeon under my breath over the fact that I do dump. I know that is the main thing or the fear of it, that has allowed me to lose the weight, stay in a healthy weight range and for the most part be able to limit what I put in my mouth. But that doesn't mean that when i have a crap day I still don't  hear the chocolate  or ice cream calling  me. And what's worse..... is that I've noticed that when I see something that I want to eat that's not good for me like  a candy bar or chocolate cake etc...  I start thinking to myself "hmmm....that is almost dumpworthy or on scale of 1 to 10 how dumpworthy is that?". Thankfully i do come to my senses and realize no it's not dumpworthy but the thought crosses my mind just the same. However, I'm still eating for all the wrong reasons,  even if I am making smarter food choices I'm still eating  because it looks good or would taste good or I'm sad, happy, bored (insert reason here) every thing besides to just nourish my body. I can't count how many times I've said "well I had surgery on my tummy and not my head or emotions" I know that it can take a while before the two align with each other but geesh! It's been 4 years for me and today I decided it's about time I really started to do something about it. 

I know exactly how you feel. I am an emotional eater and a food addict so I started seeing a therapist that specializes in people with eating disorders. It really  helps to be able to talk thru all of this with someone that understands. There are days when I still feel 328lbs  I hope that you can find a solution that will help you get thru this. Congratulations to you on doing so well and maintaining a healthy weight!

Hi Jennifer. I can understand your feelings and where you are coming from. I am out 2 years and fight the same demons. But, I am not a dumper. I sure wish that I was. This last year was more difficult for me, especially the last 6 months. I am seeing my surgeon tomorrow on my anniversary and hope that I stay the same weight. I do have very low iron levels so he is going to have to do something about that. That explains why I have been so tired for the past couple of months; I thought it was my plastic surgeries. I watched the Food Channel for several months immediately following my WLS. That was my fix to my food addiction. Now, I can eat a lot more and that scares the heck out of me. I am getting control of my appetite now. I realize that this is something I am going to have to watch for the rest of my life. I don't want to be one of the WLS patients *****gains their weight. I worked too hard and paid for so much financially to get to where I am at now. Hang in there! You are definitely a success story. Best Wishes, Lucy

Hi, Jennifer.  Congrats on your big successes with WLS.  I think we all hope to have more control, but it's hard.  I think we all thought that having surgery would be just what we needed to keep ourselves in line, both physically and mentally.  But it doesn't work that way, does it?  We just try to do the best we can. You said something in your post that puzzled me - that you thank your surgeon every day that you dump.  I didn't think our surgeons had anything to do with that part of it.  It's just a matter of chance whether you dum*****t (I don't, unfortunately, well a little sometimes, but not enough to deter me from sweets). I hope you will find all the answers you need, and just keep plugging away.  It's all any of us can do! Carlita

I am still a food addict too. Unfortunately, I don't dump either.  But, even if I did, that (sweets) isn't the type of food I tend to graze on.  I have stuff in my desk at work and it is TOO easy to have one after another after another (crackers, SF Doves, etc).  I keep meaning to move that stuff out of arms reach but haven't done it yet. I believe the surgery gets us here, but it is up to us to figure out how to stay here.  Blech. :)