It happened -struggling

Good Morning!   I used to post in this forum a good bit but being a busy working mom and my husband is now working out of town 5 days a week ... you get the idea not much extra time for me these days not to even get to the PC to post.   I think part of my problem is the lack of time these days so I have just gotten lazy eating bits and pieces of whatever the family is eating, snacking more and increase appetite and my pouch holds more now which I completely hate.   I feel bigger just blah for some reason and if I say that around my family or friends they almost get mad at me saying that I am so tiny that I have a real problem if I think I am big blah blah blah.  I wish that they would get the fact that I still have issues to deal with and that just because I have lost so much weight and yes am much smaller am struggling more that I was prepared for.  I may be rambling here but I am believing that all of you *****ad this, who have gone through the surgery will understand my frustration.  My weight has now just leveled out now I am in a size 4/6 depending on the cut and who makes it.  I know this isn't a major gain but I weighed this morning and am actually up about 5 pounds for the first time ever since my surgery I am at 132.  I am terrified.  I used to think the fact that I could tolerate anything was a good thing that I never dumped but now I wish I would dump on sugar/high fat foods like some people do.   I know what to do of course to cut out snacking, drink my protein drinks, go back to all the rules that I followed so strictly after my surgery.  I just have got to work through this mental thing right now because I just didn't think I would ever struggle again even though I realize that is crazy.  I just wanted to take the time this morning to post and reconnect myself to this forum because it is so important to stay plugged in.  I mentioned joining weigh****chers or something you know just to keep me on track to help with maintenance and have a weekly weigh in which I think is good for accountability but once again my husband wants to have me committed.    I am going to map out a food plan for the upcoming week and try to get my head back in the game before it gets even more out of control.  I can't afford for that to happen.

You have a plan so it sounds like you're on the right track to me! You have done exactly what you're supposed to do~you saw a slight increase on the scale, you know what caused it and now you're going to deal with it by mapping out a food plan and being aware of what you're eating. I'd say you're thinking pretty clearly and don't need to be committed, LOL! Check in here when you have time and let us know how things are going for you!

Wow, it is so great that you logged back on to this forum with only a 5 pound gain versus waiting for a 20 pound gain. 5 is so much easier to take off and it is amazing that when you are MO that much weight is just a drop in the bucket but when you are into a normal BMI range it could mean you pants getting tighter or your face feeling fuller. It just amazes me that I can feel every little pound when I gain. Welcome back to being aware of what you are eating and congrats on getting an early handle on things! Molly

Why don't we make Wednesdays Weigh in day... and that way we can be accountable to each other and stay on track.  The accountability of what we eat posting is good too.  I have to write down what I eat because I forget to eat.   I am so on board to keep us all accountable.

Hi Tink I understand completely...I have begun to struggle with the bad habits that caused me to gain weight in the first place.  It is more about the feelings I have about myself I think.  I eat reasonable well.  I don't eat sugar and most of the time I stay away from high fat foods and yet I still feel like I am not "good enough".  It is a wierd feeling because I used to associate it with being "fat" and of course I am not "fat".  I am thin and when I try to talk about how I feel, freinds and family tell me I am being silly and that I look "great". I guess they don't get it....I feel "fat" which does not have any thing to do with how I "look".   To Me, Feeling bad and feeling fat are the same thing. Now thw question is why do I still feel bad?  (Hope you don't mind providing the free therapy session)  How I feel about myself should not be determined soley by whether or not I have ridgidly adhered to a strict eating plan.  And yet, there you have it, if I am not perfect, I am bad (fat?) and feeling that I have failed triggers urges to eat. (Eating is a source of comfort and nuturance for me still).  So were do I find comfort and nurturance when I do not live up to my own perfectionism? (besides in food) I guess these are the very issues many of us will/do stuggle with after the WLS. I realize I didn't give you any answers but maybe it will help to know you are not alone. Madeline

I think it is great that you are catching yourself before things become more difficult and overwhelming. As far as getting support from others who haven't been there, I think if you frame your concerns in such a way as you are trying to preserve your healthy wt rather than just not being fat anymore they might be more understanding. They are just comparing you to how you were and even 25 pounds heavier than you are now would still be much less than you were. They need to understand your goal ties into being healthy and I think they won't blow you off instead.  I had said if I went 10 lbs over the wt I landed at I would do Atkins until it came off, but I didn't and now I am up 25 pounds and had to change all of my clothes to larger sizes and am now trying to get back on track. I definitely agree about the change in wt at a more normal body size and being more aware of that increased wt. My husband said he felt a difference in my rib area with just a 5 lb wt loss, when I was MO that obviously would have been a drop in the bucket.