Can I return to the Fold?

 I have usually been a hit and miss poster. Its confession time. I havent been that good a girl for the past 6-8 months. Still only a 10lb. weight gain since October 2004, but I have gotten 'soft". Ever since MIL died, our lives have been turned. Taking care of her business, trying to get a neglected 50 yr old house in order - I am so sick of washing 50 years of floor furnace heavy smoker walls - they look like chocolate milk! We have eaten breakfast on the road every weekend, fast food lunches and lousy dinners.......I try to do good during the week, but my head is STILL going in 50 directions thinking what I have to do next. So I grab a protein bar or something NOT AS BAD as I would have eaten pre-surgery, but still not what I need. I graze more than ever. Anyway, since I have decided to do the PS, I KNOW I have got to get back with the program! For some reason, ALL of the money coming from my pocket hits you in the rear versus $250 copay on $25000 worth of GBS! My gym closed 12-31, so I have used THAT excuse, along with the legit MIL excuse for not working out...even WITH a treadmill, weight bench and all the goodies I need on my back porch. And NO YOGA class either..... So, a new 24 hour gym just opened 2 minutes from my office, 5 minutes from home, so I joined....OMG, not only am I shocked that people ACTUALLY PAY personal trainers to abuse them, I want to become one at $65 an hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the first one was free..... I am not sure I can justify that expense, especially when he said a package of 8 would be a month at two visits a week - for $450!!!! Hubs is on day 3 of not smoking, making me feel more guilty than ever - I told him that HE could have the boob job then! No, he will motivate me more - he is - I only had one all night last night. The Chantix REALLY does help - I dont have the URGE for one - its JUST the habit. So when I want to smoke, I am gonna come get on line. The gym will help too. I have 7 months to get in the best shape I have ever been in. I dont care if I lose this 10 I gained, I just have to get back with it and realize that I have been given a gift - one that I have taken for granted lately. So, anyway, I am asking...........WILL YOU HELP ME??? Thanks MDL

Wow, and I thought I had stress in my life! Nothing compared to you! My MIL died last month but she hardly had a thing and died at my sister-in-laws after fighting cancer for 10 years. She didn't want a funeral, she wanted everyone to come see her while she was alive which they did. It is more a relief knowing she isn't in pain anymore! I applaud you for renewing your committment and going for it - maybe 1 month of a personal trainer would help you get set up with a great workout to help you on your way.   Go for it girl! Diona

I'm hear to help in any way!!! Even if you just need to vent! You can e me anytime!