I'm Back = This isn't exactly a Soap Box but I feel one coming on...

Hi all, I've posted some earlier today in response to others but thought I would add one of my own this evening.  I don't know if any of you remember me but I was once known for my infamous Soap Boxes on the main board.  Then I got bogged down in stuff and quit posting.  Actually, after my second knee replacement sugrery, I never came back to the boards on a regular basis.  The surgery helped but wasn't totally successful and I think I have been dealing with depression about the pain and the fact that I'm not as mobile as I thought I would be.  I've been going to a pain management doctor for about a year now and he is controlling the pain with Fentanyl Patches and hydrocodone.  He told me that I will probably be on the medications for the rest of my life if I want to be active and productive. I had my RNY November 29, 2001 and lost 180 pounds.  I have gained back about 35 -40 pounds over the last three years.  It's not pretty and I won't make excuses for myself but I will tell you all (some of you know part of the story) that I have dealt with some extreme stresses and I gave in to old habits.  Just a highlight of some of them:  Had my first knee replacement and while I was in the hospital, my apartment was burglarized and we lost virtually everything of value we owned.  The next day, my sister's apartment burned to the ground destroying what my son had moved over there from our apartment. We had furniture and clothes and pictures and that was it.  The burglars even destroyed my prized music box collection out of meaness.  They weren't particularly valuable but most were gifts from my deceased parents or my deceased sister so they had a lot of emotional meaning to me.  Then about 9 months later as I was preparing to take off work for the second surgery, I lost my job -just out of the blue, my job was no longer there - they did away with the positon.  It took me 4 months to find a job and I lived off unemployment and what my son could earn waiting tables at Steak and Shake.  This was a bad time - good, healthy food isn't inexpensive and we lived on beans and peanut butter sandwiches.  So, I finally get a new job with a wonderful boss and life is much better.  A year later I have the second surgery and just didn't get that much better.  That was a year ago Thanksgiving.  I went through torture with PT and was off work for six weeks - went back on schedule but was struggling with the pain.  Everyone around me was snacking all the time and I got joined them - at first I tried to be good - ate celery, caulifower or protein bars but soon gave in to cheese crackers and spice drops (both of which were created by the Devil himself - by cheese crackers I am talking about Cheese Nips and Cheez Its).  This destructive pattern just continued.  Then I found out that my sister is dying from kidney failure.  This is a case where an insurance company denying WLS might just cause a person's life as the Nephrologist said that RNY mght be the only thing to save her.  Her health has deteriorated so badly that she had to quit work and is on disability and that doesn't allow her to get the best of medical care - but her problems are another story.  Work became a turmoil with firings and people leaving.  I have had 4 bosses and 3 directors of the department in 2.5 years.  I know that these aren't good reasons to give up on the healthy lifestyle I had after my RNY but they definitely did contribute.  I didn't have the coping mechanisms I thought I did and I just flat out returned to my old best comforter - food. I am on my way to overturning that now.  I am doing ok for now - am on what my doctor calls Time Out for at least two weeks.  I can have three protein shakes a day (preferably Nectar of Essence) and Crystal Light type drinks.  That is all.  I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but so far, it's been ok.  I wanted to share this with the board so that it might help someone else who is struggling - and to get support from my peers. It's been a great day today - I am so amazed at how easy this all liquid protein diet has been.  I really think that I am relieved that I don't have to deal with food.

I get up at 4:50 every morning and leave home before 6 AM to get the bus to work. I don't have to be there til 8 but if I go early, the bus connections are better and I have time to relax and visit before my day starts and I like that. Somehow I'm more prepared for the trials and tribulations of the day, if I can get to work early and settle in before I have to start dealing with problems.  I take the bus home and it always takes me at least an hour and a half to get home, so at the earliest I get home at 6:30 and sometimes it's close to 7:00.  That's a long day.

For months now, I have been sleeping on the bus coming home in the afternoon.  I just realized this afternoon that I haven't slept one minute on the bus this week (now I do nap a little in the mornings as I'm not fully awake when I get on the bus).  By Friday, I was totally exhausted and couldn't wait to get home and collapse.

As I was driving home from the park and ride this afternoon it occurred to me that I really wasn't the least bit tired - and this is Friday.  In fact, I'm anxious to be out doing something.  My legs are hurting pretty badly and I just took a pain pill.  I think that when it kicks in a bit, I will head up to the fitness room and work out a little.  I just can't believe that I feel this good and am this energetic.

So, I have decided that for months (maybe even over a year), I have been poisoning myself with food.  I ate chips, crackers, candy, cookies, you name it - all with the idea that I was in agony and why not, it made me feel better.  Well, it didn't.  In fact, it made me worse.  That is absolutely the only explanation of why I feel so good right now.  For 6 days, I have had no carbs - not even good ones - and have had a large dose of protein.  I am coming back to my old self.  I am enjoying life again.  Now, I know it's premature but I really do believe that my body is responding to the good nutrition and to the loss of the junk food.

For any of you out there who are soothing stresses with food - give it up -find a way.  Do it.  I think your stress level will drop some once the carb level in your body goes down. 

When we eat high carbs, our bodies burn glucose for fuel - before they burn stored fat.  So when we eat those carbs, we are stopping the metabolism of fat.  And when you get energy from carbs - especially sugar and starches, you get a rush of energy - what I call a sugar high - and then it drops suddenly and you are fatigued.

How many of you have eaten something sweet and gotten very sleepy and fatigued from Dumping Syndrome?  I think that is akin to what happens normally with carbs - it just hits us faster and maybe more intensely. It's not a good feeling is it?  You need to lie down and rest or even sleep til it passes.  Well, that was the way I was several times a day.  Not now.  I can remember just last week, between 4 and 5 PM, watching the clock, being overly anxious for 5 to come so I could leave work because I was so tired.  Well, yesterday and today, 5 snuck up on me and I had to close the office in a hurry in order to catch my bus.  What a glorious feeling to still be alert and energetic at the end of the day, much less at the end of the week.

So much for the ramblings.  Now for the boring part:

So far today:

2 Nectars

84 ounces of fluids (and I'm working on another 24 now)

and the really strange thing is that I haven't felt hungry at all.  I forgot to have my lunch protein at work and had to have it when I got home.  How is that for odd?

Have a great Friday evening.

Patty

 Sounds like you have found your answer. I'm going to try the protein myself as i have gained 10 lbs. I want to loose. Old habits are hard to break..under stress we seem to go right back to them. I hope I can break my cycle now not later. The best you you, Cha

Cha, The one thing that we all have to remember, and I forgot it for a long while, is that NOTHING is FOREVER,  including weighloss, unless we work at it diligently.  I just hope and pray that I have learned my lesson this time and I sure wish I had had the guts to face it sooner. Patty

Patty great post.Reading your post reminds me of some of the bad habits that I have fallening into.Stay on that Soap Box it gives us hope that no  matter how difficult things are we come it.Sorry that your your body did not take your knee replacement well but you are an inspiration to us all what we can accomplished if we set our minds to improve our well being. bob

Oh, Patty, I have WONDERED where you have been. You just dont know how many of your posts I cut and pasted to Word on my computer at work for inspiration. As you can see by my post on here, I OBVIOUSLY havent read them lately! I feel for your turmoil in the past and present and I wish you the best! Maybe we can do this together!! XOXOXOXO MDL

Patty the time out you have done is something I have thought about.  I am so glad it works. I was fearing that I would be sick if I did just liquids, don't know why I did it right out of surgery....weird how our minds forget some details.  I have question for you.   On the Nectar shakes, are you using one scoop or two?  I think its time for a TIME OUT FOR ME.  I have been on the stress cycle too much and have made it my crutch.  I need to start walking and getting away from the crutch.  I am so glad you posted...better yet I am glad I came to look.  You are the best! Debbie

Debbie, I'm sorry that I have been so long responding to your question about Nectar.  I use one scoop of nectar -90 calories and 23g of protein. So far it's working - I lost 10 pounds in six days.  Haven't shown a loss since Saturday but that's ok.  I know all about losing in spurts - been there and done that a lot of times. As far as doing all liquids - my surgeon does request that I have my electorlytes checked every two weeks while on this regimen.  I am feeling so well that I'm sure that nothing is amiss. I can't tell you how much better I feel since starting this - I am even handling stress better because I'm not feeling guilty about eating junk that I shouldn't eat. Patty

Thanks for the info....I was going to do 2 scoops.  I have been doing that now.  No wonder my calorie count is up huh.  Thanks again! Debbie

Hey Guys and Chickies, Don't know if you remember me or not either.. But am back too... It will be 4 years in October since I had my surgery.. I like Patty have gained 27 lbs back..  For me it is the meds, for my fibro and lupus,  but those meds don't include cookies. and peanut butter toast, and all the other goodies that come with those.. We have moved up here to beautful Maine.. and we all love it up here so much, but it seems like everytime we turned around something was going wrong.. burs****er pipes in -45 degree weather.. being stuck in the house all winter.. Cuddling at night in bed with Mike watching tv, with M&M's and Popcorn is not part of my scheduled meds... I am living my dream in Maine, I have a beautiful river across the street, that in the summer time I bathe in, we have moose, deer, bears, and most of all besides my two German Shepherds, and 2 cats.. I also have 2 Beautiful Horses.. Yep.. Mike bought me Goobs for Christmas, and we just bought Red Cloud for my daughter..   I was scared, disappointed in myself, and totally disgusted with myself when I went to the Dr's again, I guess the first wake up call a couple of months ago, wasn't scary enough... 27 pounds is a lot to gain back, is almost 10 lbs a year, comes back and sneaks up on you before you know it.. I talke to the Dr about this, and he said with all the anti-inflammatory's, and pain meds that I am on, he wants to set up a regime for me,, So the idea is to wake up have my coffee.. and then take all my morning pills with a container of yogurt, and then switch over to a protein drink, 2 hours later and repeat this 2 more times during the rest of the day.. so this is it.. I see him May 31st. and I pray I can see some of that rebound weight disappear.. Have been on this since Tuesday, and am doing ok with it...  Thinking back head hunger is a real evil, walking past the kitchen table with holiday cookies and things on it, is like ok,one won't hurt, but you see the bathroom is right off my kitchen, so I walked past them more then once  a day.. and even after eating that, I was still hungry.. and would make a sandwich... and with the cold weather outside, not much excercise going on here...Taking care of my Goobs has helped a lot. and is getting more motivated..  Talking to Patty in Yahoo was the best, Patty and I have been through this whole thing together, and I figured if she is BRAVE enough to come back and say hey I need to come back and need some help.. Then I figured I would be Brave enough to come back and tell you all how I screwed up as well... Hey you guys what do you think, if we get Patty back up here to Maine this fall, I can throw her on my horse!!!! lolol Patty your a very Brave woman, and thank you for getting me back here, and sticking with me thoughout the years... You are what I call a true friend... Hey Patty, I think we are finally home again... Val

i am so glad to see you back, patty!!! i am sorry that you continue to have problems...i have had my own share as well... i agree that your time out sounds like it can work! i have found myself back at the carbs and the protein and crystal lite deal is what works for me as well- take away the temptations-the having to make choices- and life is easier! know that you are loved and have been missed!