Goldfish Bowl Syndrome?

  Hi,  Sometimes It can be sweet.  The other day my Grand-daughter said after we finished our meal "you ate good Grandma" I love that girl!        Kathy C.

almost 5 years out and still dealing with it on nearly a daily basis.  from someone walking in a room when I am eating a cookie and saying "I caught you"  (g--d-mmit I wasnt hiding and I have a right to eat a frigging cookie if I want to its my ass that will get fat if i eat too many so leave me the hell alone)  I felt enraged by the comment. I still feel enraged by it weeks later. at work almost every meal someone asks something or comments about other people who work there who had RNY's and regained.  my reply, I used a different surgeon and had a differnt program and I dont know anything about theirs.  if they all had the same surgeon and had poor results maybe he didn't do their surgery right. (whew) or saturday as I was eating a  cup of no sugar added fat free yogurt with  a sprinkle of bran buds and then had an apple  and someone commented on their "friend" who had wls and  how she eats too much and she thought those w/ gastric bypasses were only supposed to eat tiny bits. was she judging me that I was eating too much? that is how I felt. I dont need this stuff when I am trying to overcome my own issues and I think they dont realize how it affects someone with an eating problem to be scrutinized every single day. I posted below about eating fast and the relationship to shame and guilt about eating and I think it is a definate connection. If I have to hurry up an finish my cookie or hide to eat it  with out comment or judgement then it is an unhealthy situation that ends up leading to my eating more or wanting to console (IE drug myself) with food.  The constant scrutiny places a great deal of pressure on me, i expect they are waiting for me to fail so they can all gossip about  it and say well we always knew it wouldnt work like they do with the other wls people.  I know it isnt my imagination because they try to gossip to me about others in that situation. In the mean time today I came in and in our break area were candy and muffins. I asked the night shift to take home their junk food and they said no they were leaving it for days. i said I was going to take it to the other area at work and met with all kinds of resistance til I said if I were an alcoholic would you  leave a margarita in the middle otf the table? then they agreed to put it away.  why did I have to make a fuss about it? I really cant deal with all the junk food in my face all the time. sabotage? feels like it. also if there is party or something and people ask me if I "can"  eat a certain food i say I "can" eat anything I choose and that I may choose not to eat certain foods right now but I may make a different choice a different day.  Can you see I am conflicted?  and yes I am going back to therapy to deal with my issues.

Willow:  Sounds like you work with a bunch of jerks!  Sorry, they just sound petty and rude.  Honestly, I have never encountered anyone being that "forward" with me where I work.  Maybe it's the difference in the types of places where we work.  At the risk of sounding "*****y" I think I'd just have to come out and tell them it's none of their dang business what you do, or how much and what you eat!  Hang in there - I think they are the ones with issues, not you!

Carlita

Hi, Kristi!  Interesting post here.

I haven't really felt like I've been in the "goldfish bowl" for quite a while now.  I did right after surgery when I was losing, and really wasn't able to eat much.  I do think people in general paid more attention to that part then.  I enjoyed the attention I received for losing weight, too, so I didn't mind that part of the "syndrome."

On occasion, I will still have someone ask me how I'm doing and if I have any food issues, etc.  But the questions I receive now are generally thoughtful and I feel come from a caring attitude.  There are folks who are generally are interested in this process.  I have freely admitted to having some weight gain, and I will discuss that with certain people.  I never felt like I had anything to hide, and have always been grateful and happy that I could have surgery.  My results were more than satisfactory, even though I regained about 25 pounds.  I have been holding steady at my current weight for about 6 months, though, because I have increased my exercise I believe.  If I were to actually tweak my food intake, I think I could lose a few.  But actually, I'm happy this way.

My food intake is really pretty much what most people eat, I would have to say, just in smaller quantities.  I don't "ban" anything from my diet, just try to maintain good control when I know I need to.  I enjoy special occasions just like everyone else does.  About the only thing people might notice about my eating is that I don't drink while eating, and most non-WLS folks do.   We may never be able to completely put away the "fishbowl," because maybe there are just some folks we have to deal with who are nosy and irritating!  LOL  Hopefully, we can try to minimize our contact with those people. Carlita