How do normal people handle it when Life Sucks?

Ok, how do normal people handle it when life sucks? The old me would have eaten and eaten and eaten to handle the last few weeks ........ I had told my husband that our marriage of 30 years was over.  Left for Irvine on Friday and was there for only 12 hours when my Aunt  passed away in WV.  She was like my second Mom and not only did I have to bury her we had to go through all her stuff.  She had lived in the same house her entire life.  She had lived with my grandparents her entire life and taken care of them. They both have passed away.  Everything I touched was a memory and cried like a baby.  We got home late Sunday night....  Last night I was up all night caring for my dying dog, Kookie.  She was 18 and lived a long life...we put her to sleep 10:00 am this morning....  pass the Kleenex please....I can't stop crying as this is the second dog I have lost in 6 months. I am not here to imply my pain is more than anyone else's here.  But if we can't eat, and we don't have addiction transfer and don't drink and or shop to deal with pain, then what do we do to handle all this pain?  What do normal people do to get through a crisis time like this if they don't eat? I think there were days I didn't eat, and then days when I did but I don't remember.  I know in the old days My best friend food would help me through, but it can't be an option anymore..... How do you cope?  Thanks for your suggestions.... Take care, Kathy

**hugs** I hate to tell you babe, but you ARE normal. Its normal to be heart broken for those two devastating losses...especially so close together. Its normal to grieve lost friendships...and its normal to feel lost by grief. AND its normal to look for a safe way to cope with stress! A good portion of the "normal" population turns to one form of addiction to deal with stressors: alcohol, sex, nicotine, shopping, eating ... Try exercise, look to those new friends that will come alongside...and if you feel there isn't anyone there right now you can depend on, come on in here. Us friends will be here and are here for you. Take that energy into something productive: walk, run, jog, swim...pray while doing so. And allow yourself to grieve. That is definitely normal. Don't bury it, cover it up or ignore it. Grief is cathartic...and that my darlin...is normal.

Thank you for the kind wonderful words..... I usually deal with stress by exercising but fell when taking care of Kookie my dog and messed up my foot.  It would be funny if not for the timing.... I really thought "normal" people had the answer, sounds like they just hide it better LOL Take care, Kathy

(((Kathy))) sorry sweetie you are dealing with the loss of your aunt and your precious Kookie.  Life is so hard sometimes.   I too have been dealing with allot lately.  Fortunately for me when I'm stressed I don't want to eat usually.  I am having to make myself eat enough protein in a day, my water intake is sorry and I haven't taken my vitamins as I should.  For almost 2 years I was adamant about taking my supplements, I've missed more of them in the past 3 weeks than I have in 2 years.  I have to get a grip on this. Dealing with emotions is so hard and you are right, we would of looked to our old friend as pre-ops for comfort.  I'm thankful for my pouch and it's resistance to food when stressed now. Cry sweetie, get the pain out and let yourself grieve.  I'm sending up special prayers for you tonight. Hugs, Dana

Dana, Just wanted to say that I'm sorry to hear you're going thru a rough time lately too. Please be sure to get those supplements in, especially if you're not eating much these days. You're in my prayers...

Hi Dana, You are so right!!!  For some reason I forget to take my supplements as well.  Not sure why.... Thank you for the advice and I am sorry to hear things have stunk for you as well.  They say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I hope they are right!!! Take care, Kathy

Oh Kathy, I'm so sorry to hear this. (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))) I'm not sure how "normal" people deal with things~I guess they either have a way of coping like we used to or they just let their feelings out. Hopefully coming here and putting it all in writing helped a little. I like the one response of exercise b/c we all know how dedicated you are to doing that daily! Go for a long walk~think, clear you mind~whatever helps. You're in my prayers.........

Hi Tracy, I so agree with you on the walking but I also fell and messed up my foot so I am not mobile right now.  UGH...  laying here and thinking about all this is not good.  I will have to get movin soon. Thanks for all your kind words... Take care, Kathy

Kathy,   Well, you've definatly been through the ringer here.  I completely understand wanting to turn to food.  Thank goodness we really don't have that option anymore.  I started drinking coffee, something I never did pre-op.  It doesn't give me the jitters, infact it has a calming effect on me.  Weird I know.  LOL  Our family is dealing with some big changes, exciting changes, but we are stuck in limbo right now and it's driving me absolutely insane.  So I drink 2-3 pots of coffee a day.  LOL  Better than some.  I also went to the doc and got some sleeping pills.  I not only use them to sleep, but at night, when I feel like eating, I just take a pill and go to bed instead.  That seems to be when my eating desires creep back in.  I am not a good excersizer, so I don't have that outlet.  I have heard that is is very good for such things though.  ;-)  *shrugging shoulders*  But above all, let the emotions flow and if you must, get a beef jerky addiction or something!  LOL  ;-) Hopeing you smiled at least once today..... you're in my prayers! HUGS Kimberly

Hi Kimberly, I hope what ever your family is going through (and I am glad it's good) it will all work out soon.... I have been drinking tons of hot tea and it seems to help but then I had some dental work done and found tea really stained my teeth and now I have dance of drink tea, stained teeth, drink tea, stained teeth!!! Thank you for sharing, it helps to know I am the only one... Take care, Kathy