3 Year Out - Gained 75 Pounds

Well, despite therapy, and constant food reduction attempts, I still keep steadily gaining weight since my April 2004 bypass surgery. I never got rid of the reasons I "use" food, and even when I was looking and feeling so much better, something inside my head made me begin to creep back up in weight, by grazing and eating all the wrong unhealthy foods again. I had originally lost 134 pounds the first year and was a model of perfection diet-wize. But over the last two years I'm so anxiety ridden and continue to make failed attempts to go back to basics. Many of my medical problems are re-surfacing, when I had actually thought I was going to be free of them at last. I absolutely hate myself and my body. It makes me sick to look down at, even my forearms ! So, the self-loathing is back and I feel so very far away from any kind of acceptable weight and good health. I was surprised to find out how difficult it is to realize weight loss while eating so much less food anyway. Before surgery, if I had eaten the foods I do now, I would have Lost weight. But, that's not the way my body works now. I feel like I practically have to starve to lose anything, and then I gain it back after giving up in a few days. I really can't imaging carving myself so slowly down to a healthy state again. It seems so hopeless to me now. This feels like slow death - just like before surgery, even though I've still kept some of the weight off. I started at 334 and got down to 201 and now am 277. It feels like I'm stuck in a horrible dream world. Gosh, this was an horribly dreary post, but I've not been on for a LONG time and it's truly how I'm feeling right now. Is anyone out there going through something similar? I would like to feel that I'm not so alone in this (but also hope no one IS feeling this way). Thanks for listening. All the very best to you all!! Linda

Hey, Linda; I am sending big hugs your way--I know how you feel.   Have you stopped exercising?  I know that  has been a big part of why I'm not maintaining my weight loss.  I can feel it slowly creeping back up on my body, even though I haven't gotten too big for my clothes. Now that the weather is getting better, get back out on the road and walk, girl!!  I know I am, and it really helps my moods and I feel great.  I signed up for a local walk/race so now I have to train

OOPS!! I didn't mean to cut that off like that! Anyway, get your feet moving again--you'll feel better and it will help the depression. We are now in the part of  the race where we just have to keep doing what we know is right for our lives.   You are not alone; this is a problem for all of us.  Is there a support group near you or someone you can walk and/or talk with? Take care of yourself; Best wishes,

I know exactly how you feel. I never made it to goal and regained 45 lbs. The emotional triggers that lead me to food got worse instead of better post surgery. I was 328 before surgery, got down to 175, and got back up to 220. I'm down to 205 now with the help of being on a strict diet. I think you should have a complete medical workup just to make sure that you don't have something wrong inside, something that would lead to the regain. I truly wish you the best. I think one of my problems was not continuing with the support group, and not visiting this site. All the very, very best to you!!!

Hi, Linda, I'm sending you a warm hug and my strongest support.  You are not alone.  I lost 100 pounds, but never made it to my goal.  Now I've gained 10 back and I'm scared of the behaviors that have crept back in.  What I'm trying to do is to go back to the basics that helped me lose weight.  I'm keeping a food journal, trying not to graze (this is a real problem for me.), therapy, and walking at lunch.  I'm also trying to get rid of the black and white thinking.  I'm either very good or very bad!    All I can say to you is not to allow your eating behaviors to become part of your self image.  It's easy to say, but difficult to do.  Keep asking for support.  I find online support to be helpful when I am in the mood to be helped.  When I'm not, I just hide in my cubicle at work and try to shut out the rest of the world.  I would love to hear back from you.   Remember, there are many of us who are struggling.   Joan

Hi Linda, I know EXACTLY how you feel.  I had my surgery 4/1/03 and have gained 30 pounds back. In Sept 05 I had a complete body lift.  The surgeon removed 10 pounds of skin and fat.  I have gained all of it back and more.  I feel so ashamed of myself.  I am also drinking wine at night, almost every night, which I know is very bad.  I recently have tried: Jenny Craig, WW, Nutri-system, Atkins AND Medically supervised Optifast!!!  I feel like I did before my surgery.  I guess I feel really bad because I thought I wouldn't have to do any of those diets ever again.  What is wrong with me?  The first few years were great because I didn't have to diet.  I exercise sporadically, not consistent at all.  All of my clothes are WAY too tight so I keep wearing the same things. (being careful to wash them in cool water so they won't shrink!)  Old habits are creeping back. Every Monday I try to get strict again but only last a few days.  I recently joined WW and like the structure, accountability and group support. (they no longer have one for my gastric group because our surgeon moved on...)  I tried following the diet but it was WAY too much food.  I know what you mean by I eat less than I did before the surgery but I still gain.  Maybe we can be support for each other.  My surgeon told me that I would have to eat 600 or so calories to lose weight!  It's so hard.  The good thing is that I still dump on certain foods and sugar so that helps me a little.  Otherwise I am sure that I would have gained more weight by now. I want to try a stricter diet. Basics, protein firs****er, small portions....Maybe we can try it together!   Wishing you all the best and hope we can help each other and keep in touch. All my best, Lori 

One thing I will add - because we've all had years of yo-yo dieting and the near-starvation imposed on us by WLS, our metabolic rates are shot. On top of that, after about 2 years out, it gets much, much harder to lose weight. My dr. explained that the villi in the intestines actually look to absorb MORE from the food, knowing that we were starving ourselves. It's a vicious cycle. Exercise is probably the best answer to raising the metabolic rate.

I didn't realize that!  I definitely think that exercise (weight training & cardio) is the key.  In addition to...eating how we should eat for our health and because of the surgery. (protein firs****er, etc.)  I think because I had been heavy my whole life, dieting since a very young child (I am now 42 years old) that I went too far with having the freedom to finally eat/drink what I wanted (mostly) for the past 2-3 years)  I KNEW it was wrong but being compulsive like I am, did it any way.  I know for sure that I am trying to substitue the wine at night for the food.  (even though I am eating too)  I don't get that same "high" from the food though.  I think that is why I moved on to the wine.  I am so ashamed I even admitted this.  I really want to change and get healthy.  I don't know why I need a substitute.  Why can't I just be happy with being healthy?  Still searching for the answers, doing a little better with the wine, and will NEVER give up.  I will keep trying.  I just subscribed to Obesity Help magazine.  I was a subscriber right after my surgery in 2003 but let my subsciption lapse.  I want to start a strict back to basics diet.  What are you doing for the strict diet, baileymouse? Everyone- NEVER GIVE UP!!! We call all do this for life.  Have hope.  I still do even though my note sounds a little negative.  Sorry!  :) Best to all! Lori in NH lowest weight 164 (never reached goal but lost 80% of excess body weight) Highest weight before surgery 280 (weighing in with no heavy jewelry or heavy clothes! ha!) now, 4 years out-  193 1/2 (WW scale!) Yikes!  I never want to see 200 again!!!

I can't wait to make it back to ONEderland myself. I really want to kick myself for not losing more. Even with the band around the top of my stomach I was able to eat a lot more than I should have been. It sucks! Sticking to a small food diet sucks, lol.

Exercise would be a good statrt.Exercise not only improves your body help burn fat but also good for your mental.All the threapy in the world is useless unless you are willing to help yourself.Start a simple walk and build up from there.Watch like you are doing now with your eating.Sometimes we have o take baby steps to get to the big step.Do not get discourage and take control of your life.I know that seems impossible now but you must do it........bob