Discussion: Maintainance

Dear Debra, This is one of the most interesting discussions I've seen on here for awhile. I am 2 yr 2 mo out and this coming Friday will have a pannicula, tt, breast reduction and lift. My journey has been a long one and I am not at goal.  I actually went on a 4 month plateau at 6 months post op--that is when we discovered that my thyroid meds needed adjustment and I was low on B-12.  Both contribute to slowed weight loss.  Once things were back to par I was able to start losing again, albeit slowly.  Even though my weight loss has slowed to an absolute snail's pace (1-2 lbs per mo) I'm still plugging away at it.  Yes, I exercise 4-5 days per week.  No, I don't weigh daily as it was self defeating.  I weigh every 2 weeks now.  I plan my food out ahead of time for the day.  Much of it is food that can be "grazed" upon as my job is stressful and full of time crunches.  My biggest downfalls are  1) lack of sleep....I'm working on this. 2) insufficien****er consumption.  This one has ALWAYS been difficult for me. Now, everything being said....I'm a size 10/12 right now and after surgery will probably be a size 8.  Am I happy even though I'm not at goal???  DAMN STRAIGHT Who wouldn't be.  I've gone from a size 30 to a 10 and will be an 8 soon.  I'm off all meds except levoxyl and a B-12 shot.  My labs are good.  Hey!!  I'm a sucess!!  I DO NOT need to be 135 lbs like the weight charts say I should be.  Maybe my perspective comes because I'm older (although probably NOT wiser ) but I know I look better than most women my age and a whole lot better than I've looked in YEARS.  I have energy, stamina, health and that makes me SUCESSFUL So....if I never make 135 lbs....so what.  I DO want to make my surgeon's goal of 155 and will by the end of this year (God willing).  I figure this is a process and only "I" can make it work.  There are no magic cures, it still takes hard work, due diligence, and good health. Trisha (yes, life is very very good)

I hit my goal at 11 months out from surgery. It was my goal - my doctor never set one. For my height it's a good weight for me and my clothing size is in the normal range.  I am almost 6 years out, I haven't had a regain, I don't follow the rules to a T but I do know what I have to do to maintain my weight loss. I still follow my doctor's protocol, I still drink all my water daily, I do my supplements and go in for yearly check ups with my surgeon. I only weigh myself now ,the week before my yearly appointment to see if he's going to yell at me. (He wouldn't do that but I worry anyway). I go by the way I feel and the way my clothes fit. I don't write down what I eat because what I eat now as a post op has become habit - I still do protein forward meals and my snacks are nutritious, for the most part. I didn't have this surgery to deprive myself. I had it to be normal. I just needed help to get into the normal range for weight. I eat things I shouldn't sometimes, I have sugar, carbs, and fats. I know I can't have many of these or all this work will be down the drain. I step up the exercise if I feel i"m getting complacent or if my clothes don't fit as losely as they did. I finally figured out that input of calories is directly related to weight gain if you don't exercise. I've found more exercise means I can eat more. I've also found exercise is my key to maintenance. No, I dont' go to a gym - haven't set foot in one since before surgery. I found exercise that works for me, is fun and keeps me at the weight I want to be. If also makes me feel good about myself - in turn making it easier to resist those demons that are always there calling me to have something I shouldn't.   I know for some regain is inevitable. Some get too low and need to bounce back up to a healthier weight. I personally belong to a few support groups - both online and in person. I have been in them for about 7 years and I've found there is a big difference in people who put weight on later in life compared to those that were overweight since childhood. I think the mental aspect is 90% of success. I find my wls friends who are struggling with losing or maintaining are fighting other issues as well.  Those that come into this surgery prepared to do the work needed are more successful than those that aren't. Those that think this surgery will solve all their problems or that it will do the work for them aren't going to do well. I've found what works for me. For many it's diet and exercise alone, for some they need the help of a nutritionist or therapist post op to help with other issues. Some find medication helpful along with therapy for food issues or compulsions they can't control on their own. We all have to find our solution, there is a lot of help out there to get where we need to be. Discussions like this help tremendously I believe and sites like Obesity Help are instrumental in educating and helping patients reach their goals. Thanks for the post.

myrtle; please expand on your comment of the differences between ppl who put weight on later in life vs those who were obese as children.......my parental background is that of obesity however i was only a teensy chubby as a child...gaining a large portion of my weight at about age 25..i'm now 53 and most of my later weight gain was laziness and lack of self and portion control! i would be interested tho in knowing what you have noticed in those ppls knowing that it is your opinion only and not fact! thanks!

My comments are mine and mine only. Also the observations I"ve made are my opinions so please don't consider them OH opinions or professional comments from doctors or other bariatric professionals. I have a friend who had wls surgery when she was over 400 pounds. She wanted to get rid of the 18 medications she took daily, she wanted to live to be 50 and she was tired of being super morbidly obese. She was heavy her whole life - starting weigh****chers which her mother brought her to when she was 7 years old. Her reasons for surgery and expectations for post op life were drastically different from mine. I was mostly normal weight all the way through my teens and 20's. The weight didn't start to creep on until my 30's. I had always been athletic and as I got older and didn't do as much exercising, having kids and the pregnancy weight gains along with a slowing metabolism with age I put on weight. I finally was referred by my PCP for weight loss surgery when I was in my 40's. I wanted to lose weight to regain my thin memories. I had memories of myself doing active things, wearing smaller clothing, shopping in the regular size departments. I had memories of biking around my neighborhood as a child, climbing trees, playing baseball with the other kids, dating in high school, going to school dances and sporting events, being asked to Prom by a boy and hanging out on the beach in the summer with my girlfriends - all of us in swim suits. For me losing weight was getting back to who I was. For my friend, who never learned to ride a bike, never played outside, never went on a date or went to her prom, losing weight wasn't getting back to happier times it was downright scary. She had no idea how to act as a thinner person. How to handle attention from men she had never gotten. Where to shop or even what styles to buy for herself. As a heavy woman she bought what fit and had to settle for whatever the stores put out in her size. For her losing weight was losing herself - the person she had been since she could remember. It was setting up a whole new identity and that scared the you now what out of her. Every time she got close to goal - or even on the way down on the scale, she would sabotage herself by overeating and stopping the weight loss. She called this self destructive behavior. If she never got to goal or never got to be a thinner person she wouldn't have to deal with all the new issues that come with being "normal" size. Something she had never been. For her it was scarier to reach goal than it was to remain heavy. It's taken her 4 years of therapy, support groups, friends and dealing with each new issue that came up with her loss to be able to allow herself to get somewhere close to the goal her doctor set out for her. She still struggles with image issues, identity issues and knows what a ****oon her weight had become. With that not there now, she's had to find other ways to cope. Something I never had to address. I've learned a lot from her and I hope I've helped herin our journey's on this weight loss road. There are so many other differences we have, and so many other friends that have the same issues as she's had as a life time overweight person. That's what I meant about why I believe some people don't reach goal and why I believe some think they're going to fail from the start. They're changing a life time of habits, as for me it was just a matter of years. There is a big difference in how we approach our weight loss rules, maintenance and issues. Sometimes even life in general. Sorry this is so long - I really love this topic and wanted to clarify myself. 

thank you! yes; i understand they are YOUR comments ...and i wanted to hear them! those are very good observations--i too was thinner as i think i said -and so i approach the "goal" thing differently-wanting to "get back" to my thinner body -one that could fit into many different styles of clothing and that could ride my bike or move around well..... the head issues that we all face are so different---and we approach the end results with such differing thoughts and actions.-many have changed "addictions". you mention fear of failure or of success-an odd concept with which i am very familiar! my alcoholic adoptive mother would tell me i would never amount to anything and i think i felt a predestiny to that- so i often find my self afraid to push that envelope just a teensy bit more to succeed---also when we lose weight and we need to replace our wardrobes-even at goodwill, that costs money -and often we don't have it to spend so it could be "easier" to stay fat and not rock the boat--does that make sense? well- i'm rambling again! thanks for clarifying your thoughts- i appreciate it!

what an absolutely awesome thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you debbie for starting this and to all of the posters for their honest and wonderfully put replies. i am concerned at 3 years out that i may never reach goal-and that has led me to curiosity in reading this thread! the emotional forces that surround  the word "goal" and the ramifications of what we will do to achieve it-and the concept of maintenance...the lifelong obligation to self to be proactive- and honest. my story in a nutshell is that i was a "lightweight" needing to lose 100#- i had (have) mild sleep apnea and a long line of family with diabetes. mobility and personal hygiene were issues as well as fear of eventual diabetes. ok- so- i researched and fought insurance and had my open RNY 3/26/04-open by MY choice. i was a slwo loser as many lightweights are and i struggled with that but i plodded along! my follow up has been reasonable except that i am now on my own- my surgeon (whom i adored!) left barix and i think i have too.(long story other time). my pcp is not maybe as knowledgeable as i would like but i am proactive in getting my bloodwork and dexascan and etc done- my sleep dr also left his practice (i am soooooooo happy HE left!) and i finally have gone back for retitration and had my machine lowered from 10-6 --this new sleep doc is a charm and has told me that he thinks if i can get 20 # off i should be able to get off the machine--yes!!!! he has weight issues and so we are able to speak honestly and he is very thorough at explanations. ok- 1 started at 232- and am sitting at approx 176 today--i had actually gotten to 150-149( yes! an 80 # loss by 1 yr so i was successful!!!!! yipppeeeee!!!!)  within a year of surgery then my hubby got very very sick and i almost lost him twice within a few months. we have gone thru serious stuffs and i am a stress eater- well- you can follow the  bouncy ball here to know that i regained- my eating and exercise habits were shot down the tubes when he got sick and i knew it- ok soo you say --it's been almost two years since then-what's my excuse now??? i still am a stress eater and habits formed ie sitting down at work at the computer with a cuppa coffee and needing something to munch-ouch! that's a bad one! (coupled with i absolutely hate my job!!!!!!!!!!!!!) anyhow- we have had (and continue to have ) serious serious financial troubles and issues remain with hubby's health--so i have coped as well as i could and tried not to beat self up too badly-my depression hit lows that i never thought i would hit and actually- i think i suffered not one but two breakdowns in these two years and was too stubborn and stupid to lie down and let them take over! the stresses and sleep apnea do cause weight gain- i cannot use those as excuses but they are medically valid. i know many of my weaknesses and i am working toward eliminating them or overcoming them- i also know that my water consumption and exercise need to both be kicked way back up a few notches! since hubby has been so sick-it almost seems that i have no margo time- i go to work and come home and basically am with him when i am home cuz he is home alone allll day everyday-feelings of guilt take over so i don't go walking or anything- and there isn't money even for curves. also- i drive 45 minutes each way and i hate that- i feel cheated  but i do it cuz it's a job and many don't have one at all.... for that very very brief time that i was at 149-150 (maybe 3 days? a week????) it was heaven--i felt wonderful and i felt that my surgeon's goal of 125 was attainable- i am 5'1" and know that i am over 50 and have had three kids--but i felt it was attainable--i STILL DO!!!!! i was able to actually break into a short run one day and it felt wonderful! i felt that i was looking good and was pleased with the direction that my physical self was going- i hope one day to not use my cpap. my check up with the sleep doc last week gave me motivation to get back on to my "plan" which will be to go back to the liquid stage for a few days or a week to re-cleanse my body-- then i plan to work very hard at keeping the white flours and rice and white potatoes out-- i usually am good about my protein...and i am careful about fats ...i know that we need some-i am very good about no sugar- i use splenda and other artificials if needed- my hubby is now home all day and hates his forced retirement-he loves, however, to cook and i think he does sabotage my eating--he cooks a lot with potatoes and rice-toni!--and the rice just slides down the throat! so well- too well- my portions have always been a problem to me-i read posts of what ppl eat in one day and i have to wonder if i had any surgery at all! yet- eat the wrong thing and my pouch reminds me it is there! i am pretty good still about not drinking with my meals and i have actually "caught" myself being more in control when snacking- i actually STOP at 4 cookies instead of half the box or bag! as i re-read some of this i feel very vain--yes- i am vain--however i also am healthier than i was three years ago -and to me that is the utmost measure of success in this journey- i have a lot of life ahead of me- and i will have to be in the work force for another 15-20 years so i need to be comfortable in what i look like and what i can wear- we are hoping and working toward moving to hawaii so i know that i need to be healthy to be able to live and work  there- oh-scale- i have one- it's not accurate- i use the one at my work -it isn't as friendly as i would like but it gives me an idea--and i go by the "clothes" how they feel-unfortunately-the sizing standards are not the same as they once were so i can wear anything from a ladies med to a 2x and be comfortable- size 12 elastic waists or 16 petites in zippers- no consistency and that disturbs me- i may start sewing again! i am finally pinpointing some emotional issues that i see led to some of my weight gain years ago and working to straighten my head out there! ok i am rambling- i spend a great deal of my OH time on the over fifty forum and i love it there-but we don't get into discussions like this-too many of the newbies aren't ready for the truth-yet! may never be.... again-thank you all for this wonderful thread!

HOLY CRAP !!!!! wow, what a lot of great information.  This is EXACTLY what I have been looking for.  I have printed it out, all 25 pages of it.  Thanks all who have participated.  It is SOOOOooo appreciated. Katie 340 / 170ish

Well when I begun my journey I was 233. Some people considered me a "light weight" but knowing my family history of obesity, I wasn't going to let myself get ANY bigger. I was ashamed of the way I looked and embarressed to be in public. I hated myself. After MUCH consideration and health problems I chose to have gastric bypass. It will be 2 years on April 19th for me. The doctors wanted my goal weight to be 125. Here I am today at 145. I have maintained this weight for over a year. i figure this is where my body is comfortable. I go up and down the scale 3-5 pounds but nothing more or less. I would like to be at 133 so I can officially say I met MY goal of 100 pounds but I can't seem to get there. This is where my body feels comfortable at. I do watch what i eat. Some days I can eat more than others, it's weird. I do try to get at least one protein drink in a day. I know I could drink more water. Like you, if I have a cookie, I really watch it for the rest of the day. I can't eat pasta's or foods/drinks high in fat or else I "dump" so that helps. my tool works. I am thankful every day for this surgery. But I am most plesased that I haven't regained weight, I will take that over not meeting my goal. Not sure if any of what I rambled about helps you at all but this is my story 2 years out. Kristy 233/145

Wow folks- what amazing information and insights you all have. I am pre-op but drop by here because I want to know some of the challenges that post-ops face once well into the journey.  Thank you so much for all this information- it really is invaluable- Debbie

This has been a fascinating thread.  Thanks for all the great comments.  But one thing that seems to be missing is the reality that obesity is a disease--a medical disease and not just a behavior issue.  As someone who has been obese since childhood, and took a lot of emotional abuse for it, I know it is easy to see our own behaviors as the sole problem.  But even when we make poor choices, we need to remember that there is more to the picture.   Do you know that there are viruses and micro-organisms that you get at birth that contribute to obesity?  Nothing to do with how many carbs you eat. How are bodies process nutrients is barely understood and then in fractured pieces.  While nutrients such as beta caroteen are studied in isolation, food isn't consumed that way.  Is it the beta caroteen that has the effect or it in combination with the foods other nutrients?  There really isn't that much knowledge or consensus.  Even the high protein/low carb issue is still debated more because it seems illogical than because the science doesn't support it.  Actually, the research does support it--but it doesn't seem like it sould! I will be the first to say that behavior does make a difference, but so do a lot of external and internal factors.  What I can eat and lose or maintain, will not be the same as someone else with the same height, weight, and similar history.  There is more to the disease than calories in and out. Did anyone see the show on childhood obesity on the Food Network last night.  There was a young girl who weighed 400 pounds at 7 years old.  I cannot believe that was just a matter of eatting too much.   I do pay close attention to what I eat and drink; and I exercise.  And I worry about regaining.  And I know at times I lose more weight than I have "earned" by my behavior and sometimes I don't lose as much as I should based on my behavior.  So I make my behavior the thing I controll not the scales.   I am in my 17th month out and am 7 pounds from goal.  I am aiming to reach goal by my 18 month mark.  I weigh weekly--but I do understand how the scales can be something we want to avoid. I know I will be working on this lose and maintanance the rest of my life because I will always have the disease of obesity regardless of my BMI. Great thread and wonderful comments, Sally 398/177/170